Do you think Men should tell thier sons they love them, when?

thanks for that its a grand idea and I can see you know what I mean, espoecially since his real Dad walked out on his mum after declaring he was gay, and my son knows it and has had to suffer with it as well, and yeah I'll try what you suggested and let you know the responce. thanks

i am glad i could help. it sounds like he has been through alot already. he is at such a hard age right now. i mean this is the age they start making the chioces that will effect a big part of there life cause they are young adults. they grow up faster then we did too which makes it hard as a parent. i guess one way to look at it is think back to when you were 16 cause they do grow up faster now. think about what life threw at you with other kids your age. then think about how confused and everything you were at the age 14-16. think about what would you have really wanted to hear. i mean none of us at that age wants to admit that we want to hear i love you, you are great etc from our parents but when we get older we relize just how much we would of loved to hear it. funny how we can think of things so differnt the older we get. if you dont mind let me know how it goes. i am 31 and to be honest i would love my dad to tell me he loves me and he is proud of me. it would make a big difference in my life even at the age i am. granted if he go all mushy i would think he was going to kill over or something. moms can be mushy with sons but dads being mushy with them at that age just seems strange i guess. lol. just make sure with the youngest you keep taht open so that maybe it will be easier with him. we all learn as we grow. like you said to his other dad gave him a curve ball.

i'm a daughter...my dad showed affection different than he did my brothers...sons need it just as we do.

aah..i am sorry to hear that. That is sad. This kid needs it more than anyone. I didn't realize you were a step dad...you are paying the price for his real dad's mistakes.In that case, just treat him with kindness and maybe, hopefully, in time he will learn to trust you. sadly, no matter how much you care or how kind you are, you will never be able to take away the hurt his real dad is inflicting on him. The most you can do is to understand that this kid is hurting and be a positive part of his life...even if he does not now acknowledge you ...later on he will.

Thanks for that but as of 5 yrs ago when I came on the picture his Dad before me had never done those things to him, and his dad decided that he was gay and left my sons mum, now for me to try to hug the boy is an impossiblility and I will say I have tried many times to hug him, but he thinks its gay, so you were lucky, I kiss my girls and my youngest son as they want to be kissed but not thier older brother,thats a big no no

Well...im not sure about your son but my faith to be able to express and love people more comes from hearing words being expressed. In your situation, you have done your action part...mustn't miss out the communication line.

I think he is just being typical 14. Keep doing what you are doing and in the end you won't regret it. He will look back on you as a positive figure in his life.

I always thought I'd shown him that I loved him and I've always put my kids first before me or my wife as she has done the same to them, but to actually say those 3 little words seems just so hard.

how do I show him I love him? why do i have to tell him as he should know by all the time we hang out together, and do things together isin't enough?

sometimes what is enough for us isnt enough for other people. so we need to share, express and say what we feel. put yourself into his shoes then you will know when is enough or is it enough. goodluck

Well I told him last night that I loved him and he didn't say as I expected him to, But for someone that has never heard it from his own Dad, i still turned out pretty good, so I don't think telling my son that I loved him is going to change anything,as I think he is going to still be a rat bag as thats his age. but cheers for the answers you all.

When you have a son like mine, its pretty hard to say any thing without him thinking everything is gay as his dad was gay when he left him and his mum, but I did try last night, and I told him that I loved everyone in the family, but everyone was loved in a unique way, so thats where I left it but there was no hugging or kissing involved.