Is He Silent

I'm afraid I'm the silent one. I tend to keep things to myself, while he will talk about everything, and keep on talking about it. It seems to take over from everything else. I don't talk about things unless I really need to, but can usually mull them over and sort them out myself.

This wasn't/isn't true for a hubby or boyfriend of mine, but I had to deal with this with my mother...she NEVER opened her mouth about anything that was bothering her, even if I did ask a point blank question...her usual response would be to shrug her shoulders..yeesh--because of this attitude of hers her tumor in her esophagus probably could have beem detected sooner, but she never even told her docs exactly how she was feeling...but then my mother was weird...So she kind of did herself in..same with not expressing herself to her therapist about how severe her depression was

My husband will stay silent to the point that eventually it eats at him so much that he blows up. Then we have an arguement. I hate it when he does that. We both hate to argue so Idont understand why he does it.

My husband is actually open if he has something that is bothering him. I like that in him and its nice when we can talk things over. He is actually a really quiet person but when it comes to sharing, he is very open with me. :):)

Yes he keep on silence, and if hes in that mood, ill try to let him know that i feel/ we feel bore with him, that we rather want him to get out of our sight.... or sometimes I'll do massages his shoulders and let him know if hes thinkin about one girl, i would rather want to listen about it or her, im willing to give some advice and ask him i want to meet his lover....coz ill be hypocrite if i say i wont mind if he really has but i would rather want to give his freedome since we cant have him whole... My hub is not a type of playboy, he can handle his self being a man and human, i am sure of that and i trust him though i dont trust some girls, especially in his job since i never been there and never been introduced to his work and to his friends personally as his wife since we moved here in his own motherland...

Hi TerryZ! I think I'm loving this, talking about our hubbies and comparng notes. LOL! Oh well, my hubby fall in deep silence when he's annoyed, irritated or have a problem...and God knows, I always thought that I did something to annoy his sensitive nature (huh!). And of course, I will try to talk to him, be as caring and sweet as I can be, and OMG, this mood of silence could go on for hours and hours...until I get tired and just leave him alone. And when he sees that I am busy with other things and not with him anymore, he will come to me like a little child as if asking for a hug and a kiss...it is then the moment that he will start talking. This is always the ritual, I tried ignoring him before but then he accused me of not being sensitive. LOL!

My husband stews and broods quietly usually about 3 days before he's up to talking about it. I always know tho, ya get used to the signs after the years.

LOL..How right can you be...They are hopeless, its unreal...I really dont know why they do it but it gets beyond frustrating sometimes..

I read a little bit of the book men are from Mars - women are from venus- it says that women want someone to comfort them when they have a problem just someone to listen andy be sympathetic, men on the other hand want to solve problems (which is why they are not as sympathetic as women). When I hated my job my husbands solution was "QUIT"- men deal with things differently- I have found that if I ask my husband whats wrong and he says "nothing" I leave him alone and ask later or the next day- if I still get no response I ask him if he's mad at me or if there is something I can help him with- that usually works if he has had time to mull his problem over for a day or so, then he is ready to talk. If that doesn't work then I leave him alone till he works it out for himself- he has even told me to do that (years ago when I used to get so annoyed with him for not telling me I would continue to bug him) he said sometimes I just need time to think about things don't take it personally.

Oh yes, it happens to ma. Specially when the thing is something bothering him, he probably thiks if it kept silent , it wont bother me. But it is esy to understand something is there in him just from his attitude or expression. Even he doesnot talk about it, I can realize something is kept secret...

Oh, how I wish mine was silent! He's a nonstop b*tchfest! He gripes about everything! Most days, he never shuts his mouth! This is one of those days, as usual, he sets on his a*s, and watches me work, and gripes about everything he can think of.

to make them give talk is easy.....give them money....at least small words of 'thank you' from them as a reply....

oh yes my hubby can be silent when somethings are bothering him even when I ask him what is wrong he still sits there and says nothing...But I sat down with him and said please if something is bothering you doesn't matter how big or small the problem might be would you please talk to me about it he seems to be getting better..hehe

My husband is silent. I can tell there is something bugging him but I don't know what. I literally have to drag it out of him and, even then, I sometimes don't feel satisfied that he is telling me everything. It's so opposite of how I am. If I am bugged by something. I let him know loud and clear. I would MUCH rather just be confronted and talked to rather than get that silent treatment. It makes me paranoid! I sometimes ask straight out what is bothering him then give a few examples of what I *think* could be on his mind. Sometimes I get it right. Usually he just denies anything is wrong and dismisses me. I hate that!

Men and women are so different in so many ways. Women tend to pour their hearts out, even to strangers. Most man clam up. It's just the way they are.

Nope my Boyfriend actually talks to me about things but I guess I am one of the lucky People there really lol

You know you are right or i think that they sometimes are trying to get attention like they know you know something is wrong and they are trying to get you to mess withthem to get attention. All guys seem to think problems go away and all or i mean something will disapear if they do tell you they try to make into an argument that is why i try to let it go and let them be. I f tey have a problem that they want to keep to theirself they need to be able to fix it them selves

Wait! How do you know my husband?? Lol. My husband says, what good does it do to talk about it? I say, it makes you feel better. Uuummmm, NO! What can I say to that? Can't make him talk! Thankfully he is an excellent listener, so he lets me talk when I need to.

I have no idea how to get them to open up..My closes up tighter than a clam..LOL..It just depends on what is bothering him..He is pretty good to tell me most of the time..

So it's not just my husband that does this? It drives me crazy. I know there are things going on with him right now, but he doesn't want to talk about it. I try to ask only once so I'm not pushy, but I feel that if I don't ask at all then it says I don't care. I don't know how to find that happy medium of caring but still giving him some space. If anyone has answers for this I would love to know. Frequently when he does finally tell me what's going on it does end up in an argument, which we both hate, but I don't know how to afford that. Wouldn't it be so much easier if they were just up front with us?