Did I do something wrong???
By makingpots
@makingpots (11915)
United States
August 3, 2007 2:39pm CST
Driving through my neighborhood yesterday I was watching as a man and lady got out of a car parked on the road and walked up toward a house. The lady (probably in her 60s) twisted her ankle as she stepped up on the curb and fell. She fell all the way back off the curb, onto the street and actually hit her head on the cement. It was awful because I saw every second of it, I even literally saw the ankle twist. It was obvious to me that she was going to be hurt and possibly badly. My first instinct was to pull over and offer some help. My second instinct was that there could likely be blood from all this and my son (2.5 yo) could be traumatized.
I stopped anyway. My son was not going to be able to see it and I left him in the car with it still running so the air conditioning would stay on. I grabbed my cell phone and ran back to help. The husband was helping her up off the ground as I walked up. My first words were “can I help you or get you something?” and the husband snapped “No” . I couldn’t help thinking that maybe she should just sit on the curb for a minute and collect herself but the husband seemed intent on helping her stand up.
There was indeed blood, she looked very shaken up to me and the next thing I asked was “Can I call 9-1-1?” By this time, the owner of the house who saw all of this was outside and trying to help. She too seemed to think the lady should just sit for a second, but the husband seemed intent on getting her inside. Ok, so it was hot outside and that’s fine he just wanted her in the air conditioning. Whatever. As they were walking up the sidewalk to the house the man literally growls at me “don’t call 9-1-1” and keeps walking. I am left standing there dumbfounded and wondering if I did something wrong.
As I was getting into my car I noticed the lady who fell look over her shoulder and shoot me a look as if to say thank you. The whole thing was bizarre.
I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t walk up to the house and make sure she was okay because I couldn’t walk too far from my car with my son still in it. For the rest of the evening I just kind of shook my head confused. My husband suggested that maybe the man was just worried about the cost of an ambulance coming.
Wouldn’t you have done the same as I did and tried to offer some assistance? I feel like the husband was annoyed by my even being there.
7 people like this
22 responses
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
3 Aug 07
You did everything right, good job. There were probably several factors involved from the husband's point of view that you could not have been aware of, the cost of an ambulance an hospital visit being a couple of them. He may have felt it more prudent to get her in the house and evaluate the situation himself. He may have felt you were interfering with his role as family protector. Who knows.
It's been my experience that many people do not do well in emergency situations, especially when it comes to someone close to them. My mother is that way. She panics and doesn't know what to do and just gets upset and starts snapping at people. She doesn't even realize she's doing it at the time.
Whatever his reasoning, I wouldn't take it personally. You did what you felt was right and that's all any of us can do in that situation. Try not to let it bother you. His reaction, I'm sure, was not aimed at you personally but at the situation. He just reacted badly to it and you were there to get the brunt of it.
I'm sure the woman was very grateful and that's what counts.
3 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
thanks, you are right, I can not take it personally
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
3 Aug 07
NO you did nothing wrong at all. Some people at that age especially men are like that. I dont know why but they are. I think he was upset and worried about his wife thats all. That was really nice of you offer assistance like that. Good job!
3 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
Come to think of it, my dad who is in that age range, might have behaved the same way..... just so intent on taking care of things.
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
4 Aug 07
You did nothing wrong. The man was probably just having a bad day or something and took it out on you. Sometimes people snap at people and then regret it later. Maybe he felt bad about it later that night. I wouldn't worry about it. Shrug it off. You did a nice thing and that is all that counts.
2 people like this
@cmsk2005 (1770)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Yes you did the right thing in my opinion. if I was there I would have done the same thing and this is right that the lady might neede to call 9-1-1 or an ambulance-so it should be taken care of....do not think if you have done wrong. I think most of us will think this in your way friend
3 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
yes, I believe most people would have helped.
2 people like this
@3superkids (446)
• Philippines
4 Aug 07
No you didn't do anything wrong. Under the circumstances I would do the same as you did. Perhaps the husband is embarrased or something? Or perhaps because they are already old he does not want to be treated as helpless. Or maybe he is irritated with his wife for falling down. Whatever he was thinking it's hard to guess. But let us hope that his wife is now okay. Imagining what happened to her based on your story is terrible and the husband should have broguht her to a clinic at least.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
yes, I believe most people would have done the same thing. thanks for the response.
3 people like this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
3 Aug 07
The best thing to do is to just offer assistance. If they turn you down that isn't your fault. It's sad to say but with the world we live in you always have to be careful these days. When a stranger falls or something you're really not supposed to even touch them because they could easily turn around and sue you even though they tripped and broke their leg all on their own (or whatever it was that happened)... heck don't you see how many people file malpractice suits on their doctors these days? You're never really totally safe when trying to help someone so the best thing to do is exactly what you did...offer your assistance and if they don't want it then so be it.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
wow, I had not even thought of that but I suppose you make a good point. thanks for the input.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
4 Aug 07
Sweetheart you didn't do anything wrong I would have done the same actually I would have just called 911 as far as I am concerned that Man had a bad Attitude I just hope that his poor Wife was ok
But you did right I would have done it to
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
Thanks. I believe most people would have done the same thing.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
4 Aug 07
I would probably have called 911 before ever getting out of the car. The husband may have been worried about cost, but then they could have refused service. He also may be embarrassed, and unable to cope with the idea that his wife, and he are aging, and having some problems. I hope whoever they saw in the house prevailed upon him with some reason. You did the right thing in caring, regardless of how you were treated.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
good point on the coping idea. Awww my heart hurts just thinking of it.
2 people like this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
4 Aug 07
That was sure not what you would expect a thanks we are OK maybe but to get upset and even angry seems very odd. the only thing i can think of is he is a caregiver and has lost all patience. I saw husbands like him in the home I worked in, there was a lady suffering from advanced dementia and her husband could not accept the fact and would become upset and angry with her because she was very slow to catch on to something, we tried to explain that she couldn't be fast anymore but he just refused to accept it and would yell at her and even push her. The poor old soul passed away and her husband Told us he was so happy as now he didn't have to wait for her to get a move on any more. Sad but true.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
Aww, sad story but I can imagine the frustration.
1 person likes this
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
I don't think you did anything wrong. I would have stopped to offer assistance too. The woman could have broken a hip or something and would have needed an ambulance.
Still, if the husband insisted she was fine, then you have to respect that. I don't think he needed to be nasty about it, though. You were doing what anybody (I hope) would do in that situation. Maybe he was embarrassed, or like your husband said, worried about the cost of an ambulance. Maybe this happened all the time. Who knows? I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just feel good that you did the right thing in offering assistance, and leave it at that. The important thing was that your son saw you trying to help people, and hopefully he'll learn by your example, even if the help wasn't wanted.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
Awww, thanks, I had not thought of the aspect of my son seeing me offer help.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I think you are right. Only he knows the cause of such strange behaviour.
2 people like this
@sharonercastillo (888)
• Philippines
5 Aug 07
i see no wrong in you trying to help,
as for the man, i can't judge him too, coz i don't personally know him, he refuse your help, maybe, he think he can handle it himself
i agree with another mylotter though that you set a good example to your son, you did your christian duty by your trying to help!
good day to you!
1 person likes this
@cashfreek (66)
• India
5 Aug 07
u did right thing offering your help to that lady but if her husband dont wanna ya to call ambulance it may be he felt embaressed about her or some money thing or god knows it.but u did right,dont think much lol,try to help ppl,god bless ya
1 person likes this
@smilegirlha (65)
• China
4 Aug 07
I don't think you're wrong.most people will do same as what you had done.The world is complicated and we just do what we can do,that's will be ok.YOU're wonderful,do not worry more.
1 person likes this
@acciobean (15)
•
4 Aug 07
You didn't do anything wrong at all - anyone would have gone and offered help. The husband needn't have said it rudely though - or maybe he was stressed out/ worried about his wife e.t.c. You offered help but obviously the husband didn't want any interference or was embarassed about the situation.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
5 Aug 07
yes, I do believe he was so worried about his wife.
1 person likes this
@doombullets (631)
• Pakistan
4 Aug 07
no man you should be prud of doing this....keep it up man
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
4 Aug 07
Maybe he was more aggarvated at her causing a scene. A lot of men are like that. They don't think so much about the accident and if the wife is hurt, it is about bringing the attention to them. It was very rude and I would have done the same thing. I hope that she was ok.
1 person likes this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
4 Aug 07
I can see what your husband means but I would have called when I got to the car cause that whole situation would have felt really weird to me. it just doesn't seem right and I wasn't even there hmmm.... You did nothing wrong so don't think twice about that. Any good person would have done what you did. Its nice to know there are still some of those good people out there
1 person likes this
@bananamanuk (835)
•
4 Aug 07
Certainly this is an interesting dilema. One thing I will say is that just because the husband said "No" doesn't mean he was being rude or even if he was abrupt. Some people deal with traumas in very different ways. Often it seems to me, men, including myself, are actually quite nervous about involving doctors and the like, whereas women usually seem to find it easier to seek help. I am not saying this is right or wrong in either case, it's just an observation. I don't think you did anything wrong at all, you did the most natural thing in the world, you saw someone in difficulty and you stopped to help. I to have had similar experiences with the elderly falling in the shopping centre, two occasions i have helped, on another occasion I walked by because other people were already helping. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that too many people can be more shocking and worse than no one helping.
Without knowing the personalities involved it's a bit hard to say, but it could very much be a case of pride. Some people can be quite stubborn, not nasty, but they just want to do their own thing and do it the best they can, they are independent. It could be that the husband felt a bit embarrassed by what happened to his wife. It could be that she has a condition and frequently has minor accidents. Perhaps he could have been less forceful in his objection to your help, but sometimes the shock of something happening leads people to be less considered than they would otherwise be.
You should hold your head up for offering, genuinely, to help someone in need. There are many many people out there that would have kept right on going. It may even be that the husband is thinking right now, oh, that person stopped to help me and I was ungracious. He's not to blame either. Always be you. If you see something like this happen again in the future, do what comes naturally (which seems to be to help) don't let one negative put you off.
1 person likes this
@ChaJudLeoBit (1656)
• United States
4 Aug 07
You definatly did the right thing. The husband's reaction was odd, maybe he was embarrassed and reacted with anger. Maybe he just felt that it wasn't bad and that you were intruding. I think he should have at least asked his wife what she thought she wanted.
1 person likes this
