not sure if keeping secrets are good

the thing u talked about somebody toching her and she not telling u is real scary,, i dont know who kids can be tought what to keep a secret and what not.. actualy after reading this i think kids should not ahve any secrets from their parents..

It's sweet that you're daughter try to surprise you with a surprise birthday present. But, like you said, it can be dangerous. You should teach your daughter that there shouldn't be any secrets between you two, just incase if something do go wrong or even if someone tries to brain wash her with bad thoughts.

Oh yes you must teach her the difference of what secrets to tell, I would sit her down just the two of you and talk to her and tell her she is a big girl now and that she is old enough to know the difference between good secrets and bad secrets, let het know that to keep secrets when told one is good but then maybe you could point out a few things to her that people can try and trick her into believing that some secrets are good when they are not and this is when she should come to you, it must be hard these days things have changed, the innocence has gone in this world and children are no longer safe in this world, good luck.

Your daughter is very young and she will learn in time what to keep to herself and what to share. You must just reinforce what should be told and what can be a secret. I am also with you on her fibbing. Tell her just say it is a secret instead of making something up. My daughter was taught from a young age as well about being touched inapproperatly. I figured since she was going to school I could not be there to keep her safe so the more information I give her the better she will be. I think you are doing a great job with your daughter. I also enjoy your stories about her as well. Thank you for sharing.

I would talke to her about secrets that make her feel good or secrets taht make her feel bad but unless she tells you that the going shopping was her secret I would not mention that. You can plan a suprise with her for someone else and call it a secret, and let her know that some secrets can make her feel good (like being nice) but someday someone may ask her to keep a secret about something that can make her feel bad or sad and those kinds of secrets she does not have to keep. Then give her different examples - someone breaks something then lies about it and wants her to cover up, someone touches her in a way that makes her feel strange or uncomfortable or bad. Sometimes a bad touch, may start out as a 'hug' that lasts too long or has a part of her body touch in a way that makes her feel odd. The private parts thing is one thing, but inappropriate activities can start way before the actual inappropriate touch in the 'private place'. So let her learn to trust you and her instincts.

Yes i totally feel your pain I too have a very tight liped little girl shes 5 and we just had the talk about secrets that you have to tell mommy daddy grandma ect. if its someone doing harm to her or even somebody else and if its a secret like getting a surprise for mommy or daddy talking u for icecream before dinner and saying not to tell mommy then the way to not tell is by saying i ant tell its a secret.... so after the talk she went and told on me about something i forgor to do for my hubby and told her it was our little secret once i realised i had forgot and we were already home LOL good thing it wasnt too big of a secret!!

I agree with you about good secrets and bad secrets, just like good touch and bad touch. I've also been thinking of children's stories. Maybe I need to write a children's story about good and bad secrets. I have a while bunch of stories from sentimental ones to serious ones that I'd like to publish, and your idea is a good one.

omething happens to her