It was supper time and........... (read on please)
By wisconsin26
@wisconsin26 (3859)
United States
August 5, 2007 11:17am CST
It was supper time last night and I was getting ready to go and pull some stuff out for supper. I was thinking some hot dogs and maybe some pork n' beans.. Ok my husband comes in the kitchen and says "hot dogs again".. I just looked at him and said "Fine you find something".. Well that didn't go over very well.. He got very upset and started yelling and just having a plain fit.. I cook every day and have been for the last 9 years of my marriage.. Very, very often have I ever seen him cook.. Maybe 4 or 5 times sense I've married my husband.. He always waits for me to either wake up from a nap or when I get home and the first question is where's my supper?? (let me remind he gets home from work around 5 pm but waits until 6 or 7 cause he won't make anything for himself) I think why can't you cook for yourself? Really is it all that hard to do?? I cook, clean, do laundry take care of our son all day and he works yes but it's not all that hard he stand in front of a machine and cuts out pieces.. I just don't understand if he's that hungry why can't he just cook something for himself?.. I am usually hardly ever hungry cause yes I do eat threw out the day.. I am wondering how do I break this habit? He always expects me to do all the cooking while he sits and watches tv and doesn't even bother to help or anything... Any suggestions?
3 people like this
9 responses
@beckish (641)
• United States
5 Aug 07
My ex-husband was like that. I finally got to the point where I told him that if he didn't like what I was fixing it was fine if he didn't eat. I am lucky in that my current husband does most of the cooking and never complains what I cook when I do cook. Good luck! Your hubby has no right to complain.
2 people like this
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I feel the same way... And thank you... I am to the point to tell him that exact same line.. I try and do my best with cooking and things but never seems that it's good enough.. I always ask myself why but can never come to a conclusion.. Thanks for your reply!
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
5 Aug 07
It sounds like you may have the answer already, keep fixing hot dogs, LOL.
Yes it gets to be a pain sometimes to not only be the one that does all the cooking, but coming up with what they would like. I hate it when I ask hubby what he would want for dinner and I get "dunno". However, it's a battle I have yet to resolve myself, *sigh*
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
5 Aug 07
LOL funny, funny! I don't mind hot dogs but than again not every day.. I get that exact answer or "Food" I'd ask what kind of food he just says "Food"... I mean really what kind of answer is just Food... Hot dogs are food isn't it so I should feed that to him more often and when he says food but not hot dogs I'll switch to say chili.. Maybe just maybe he might get the hint of a name of a food... lol Thanks for your reply!
@AmbiePam (92481)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I would recommend sitting him down and logically pointing out all you do, and how it is not unreasonable to ask him to help out a little. EXCEPT, since he yelled at you for that one simple comment, I don't know if that would go over well. And I wouldn't want to recommend anything that would bring more stress to you.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I'm tired of stressing out... lol mainly over food dishes.. I have tried to talk to him in a reasonable manner but that didn't work.. I've tried suggesting him to try something like cook that didn't go over well either his excuse is I work 10 hour days and you want me to come home and cook too.. I think yes I do other men do it why can't you... Of course I'd never say that he'd really get upset..lol
1 person likes this
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Your to nice...I do think he knows but he's angry with someone at the moment and I think it just triggers him off that much faster.. In time though I'll get him up and moving to do some cooking!! :) Thanks for your reply!!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I can see why he would assume you are making dinner ~ because you have for the past 9 yrs. You need to start communicating your feelings to your husband about this. Very calmly, so you don't start another arguement. Why not make a schedule and have him make dinner once a week. Tell him he can either cook that night, or take you out for dinner. I give my husband the menue that I am making for the week. Tonight happens to be hotdogs again~ and I said, if you don't want them, then you need to figure something out for us to eat. He then was ok with hotdogs.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I don't want to go by a menu though that's like a restaurant type thing.. I just to do something simple and have him help me so that I don't have to cook everything and than after wards or before listen to him whine.. I have tried talking to him but it's never good to start on food and cooking that's for sure... I should start on a different topic and work cooking into it maybe? Thanks for your reply!
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I tried that a few years ago.. He says that he doesn't want the same thing over and over again, I don't make the same thing over and over.. I think what it is, is that when I was pregnant with my son like umm 8 years ago I ate French toast every single day threw out my pregnancy And I think he thinks thats what's going to happen again.. Ha I never told him he could even touch my French toast mainly when I was eating for two lol.. Thanks again for your reply!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
5 Aug 07
No, I don't mean I give him a menu to choose, I tell him...
monday is tacos, tues is spighetti, wed is roast, thurs is hotdogs/hamburgers, friday is pizza.....
This way he knows what to expect for that night and can't complain.
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
6 Aug 07
The only thing I can suggest is to have him stay home with your son and do everything you do. Then maybe he will come to realize that you are very busy. I don't know that he would like it..We all cook for ourselves here..If we are hungry we go make something to eat, we don't wait on each other to make us something..Sometimes we put a meatloaf in the oven, or chicken. If he gets upset, then tell him to make himself or go hungry. You are not his slave. We share all the chores, the cooking, and everything...That is the way it should be..I am sure he works hard at his job, but you also work very hard to keep the house in order and to take care of your son....
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Thank you! Your right I do, do alot here and he doesn't realize it but yet again he did stay home for a year while I worked and he wanted back so badly into the working part.. It was nice but yet I still made supper or lunch.. See I don't think that will ever changed even if I were to go to work and he stays home.. But I think talking to him in a calm manner I might get some where... Thank you again!
1 person likes this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
5 Aug 07
My mom was always the one who cooked when I was younger but my dad got tired of her cooking plain boring things. Actually now that I'm older and on my own I realize how plain both of my parents cooked. I mean they hardly used seasonings and we always had the typical meals and the typical vegetables and I never thought much of it. I knew we had "creative" dishes only when my dad fixed dinner.
My dad started cooking because he was tired of my mom always cooking the same things. Plus both of them started getting into other things. My dad was involved with boy scouts with my brother. My mom girl scouts with me. Etc. So when my mom was busy, my dad would have to cook and vice versa.
Do you think there is anything you could get involved in that would require him to fend for himself once in a while? something with kids if you have them or friends or something? I'm sure your community has something you might be able to join. I mean... at first it wouldn't help you out, but who knows what could come of it.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
6 Aug 07
It don't matter if I get involved with something or not.. I actually attended boy scouts with my son one year and when I got home at 8 pm he was asking for food.. My mom and dad live the way I do she cooked everything and he waited but the thing of it was when he was hungry he cooked for himself he didn't care if he made or mess or not.. I think what it was is that he was tired of waiting and just plain hungry, My dad did cook very good things... I don't know though maybe some day my husband will cook I know last night he did.. I should wrote that done...j/k lol but it's nice not too every now and than.. Thank you so much for your reply!
1 person likes this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
6 Aug 07
No problem. I hope your husband will start taking care of himself a little more. I know if I ever marry a man like that we'd have some troubles. I'm an independant kind of person and it's one thing to have a kid you take care of. another thing to have to take care of a grown-up person capable of doing it themself.
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
5 Aug 07
This is a hard one without starting a bigger argument between the two of you. HAHAHAHA! I would say let him know an hour before he comes home you won't be around and he will have to fend for himself as far as dinner. But then most men would stop and get some dinner to go is my experience. But I love to cook and do it 6 days a week twice a day minimum for myself and my dad. So I really am at a loss as to what to do. Just don't cook a couple nights. If anything you'll get your meals cooked by him or a restaraunt. Or a huge fight. LOL.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I really thought about that not cooking a few nights a week.. You know though if it was up to him to cook he'd rather order out.. I sometimes though get tired of it cause of all the grease that other places have.. We do have a local pizza place we order from but their food is so greasy that I don't like ordering all the time from there.. Plus if say we were to want McDonald's we'd have to go 30 minutes to get it... lol it stinks to live where I'm in almost in the middle of no where... lol Thanks for your reply!
@Rickrocks8 (1751)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I hate to say this but.....You said I have been cooking for the last 9 years...right? Why do you think he would just want to up and start cooking when you have done it all this time? Men are creatures of habit. They are big huge babies too. When I tell my hubby its your night to cook he says ok great you want to go out or do you want to order a pizza? He will not change. Maybe you could invest in a crock pot? then way it can be done when you get home from work. When I worked full time I would have a cooking day I would make the food for the week and freeze stuff. Or if you even did it once a month if you have a big freezer it wouldn't feel like such a bourdon on you.
@NewYorker1 (25)
• United States
5 Aug 07
This is why I am very happy to be single! I can come and go as I please an not have to answer to anyone but myself.
I did the marriage thing and you know what, I felt like a slave! I guess all these things should have been discussed before marriage, this way each of you go into it knowing what to expect. Good luck!
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
6 Aug 07
ok rub it in rub it in why don't ya...lol I am so kidding with you.. I'm sure it's nice to be single and have to cook and eat when you want too.. I know I wouldn't be eating alot or cooking alot.. Because I'm not a big eater thats for sure.. But than again I don't mind a break here and there either! Thanks for your reply!!
