Why should I forgive you?

I totally understand the way you feel zandi but I think forgiving someone helps you more than the person you forgive! I have to say that the only person I cannot forgive in my life is my father but that is a long story and I won't bore you with it right now! I say that you can forgive but never forget! xxx

its painful to be in that situation and some things are not that easy to forgive..in this life everybody can hurt you without them knowing they hurt you..sometimes an apology will be said and done but somehow the damage that was made was still unforgivable..when its painful and had torn your heart into pieces you might forgive them but the pain remains forever and the heart is not whole anymore.

I can only say that the human being can not always forgive, when hurt enough, on their own. They can only do it through the grace of the Lord.

as for cheating husband I could never forgive and I will never forgive I just put him out of my mind!

I have been married 29 years to a great loving, caring, & forgiving woman. She is my heart, life, soul, and my best friend. In my drinking and using days I had been unfaithful. She had forgiven me because that is the type of person she is. She could have easily left me by the side for this which would have been understandable from my view but she choose to let the love we had grow even more. So I look at forgiveness from a mate or friend as the gift of God in a sense. Thanks also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

Zandi good to have you back here. You have stated a very difficult situation here. I usually think that we should not waste our energy on a person that has hurt us, i usually tell myself that he has problems and i can not be emotionally involved in every mistake he makes. i try not to blame myself for his doings and feel like i lose a love or a battle, just to see how weak a person is, by trying to prove himself that he is a man and that he is strong by making idiotic things that influence life. I am sorry about all of this. I am even more sorry when it is a person which you dedicate your life to and share things and love with him. I know how i would have acted, i do know that i can be sure to what i have done, but that is because i was never in such a situation. It is very possible that if i were in this situation i would have acted differently then what i am going to tell you right now, because life is not black or white and there are emotions and other things involved in which i do not share like a person in the situation that you described. I would just tell him that i do think he made a mistake, the big mistake was that he did not think of me or shred his difficulties with me, trying to solve things. Instead he made a mistake and looked for the answer outside and made some mistakes that caused him one result: losing me in the relationship. I will tell him that he lost me, his very best friend in life situations and it is not about forgiving but about losing. I would try to disconnect from him in any way that i can, and find myself things that i do enjoy in life, and that he will not be a part of them.

very true very true. now the question is how do you tell your childeren about the other childeren? and how do you cope with not having the one you love any more?

I totally agree that it's hard finding it in your heart to forgive someone who did those things to you and hurt you pretty badly. Also, I think it was not a careless mistake since your husband is having an affair and fathered not one but two (2)?! children? Wow.. he did it on purpose. I think that no matter how you think that you can never forgive him/her, time will come that you yourself can dictate your mind and heart to forgive someone whom you loved yet hurt you. When you forgave him/her, that's the time or significant moment (for me) that you are finally.... moving on..

I agree. There are things that you can never forgiven.And lying to you is one of them.

It would be hard enough to forgive a husband who slipped up and had a one night stand, but for a husband to have an affair long enough to father two children would probably be impossible. I know that it would be for me. It wouldn't be just the fact that he was with this other woman, but the fact that he was deceiving me for all of this time. I would surely never be able to trust him again. Without trust, there would be no relationship, whether friendship or otherwise.

i would forgive my friends or loved ones or maybe just wont hold a grudge against them . . holding a grudge always result in losing a loved one and its really the big reason why some people dont get back so easily.

I definitely agree some things are unforgiveable. I also agree there is a huge difference between saying you're sorry and an apology and unfortunately a lot of people I know don't seem to know the difference between the two and I find it hard to forgive one who can only say I'm sorry and not apologize. I think you can also forgive but sometimes you'll never forget.

I think that some acts may be hard to accept...and that the healthiest thing may be to sever ties and move on. However forgiveness is something else in my view. I forgive the acts of those who have betrayed me because I refuse to be tied to them in any way shape or form. Anytime we harbor anger, resentment or a need for revenge there is an energetic connection to them that I refuse to accept. By letting them go I am in control and the outworing of their choices will show up in their lives...not mine. However I have seen people who have been untruthful and recognized the errors of their ways. When the are willing to make concrete steps to change themselves and the way they live their lives they deserve forgiveness. We all make errors in judgement and if we learn from the experience then nothing is failure. So in conclusion I think it is always better to forgive and move on.

Yes i agree that is true but i also belive that everyone needs to get chances with there ways. nothing lasts forever so what i learn is to just live your life love who you are and respect the ways of it all. forgive one another and be happy. dont ever regret something that once made you happy.

If I can't find it in my heart to forgive those who has hurt me in my life I can't expect God to forgive me for my sins. Forgiveness is not easy but it can be done. Now if my husband did that to me I could not stay married to him I would feel very bitter and angry and I will really have to pray to overcome that bitterness,I will have to forgive him because that's what I have to do because I am a christian,but I could not stay married to someone that I cannot trust and be happy.

I could forgive someone but I never forget. Especially people who have lied to me.

I believe we utter such words because we get carried away by our feelings for the moment, I always feel that forgiveness is natural to us as humans. As the saying goes, " To forgive is to love, and to love is God." Clear minds should always be the one's that should rule, do not let sinful thoughts cloud all over your mind. Perhaps time will tell, let's just hope that's your wounds get healed..