parenting
By rinkub
@rinkub (231)
India
August 5, 2007 11:21pm CST
My son's classmates have got into the habit of celebrating their birthday parties lavishly at expensive restaurants and amusement parks. We belong to the salaried class and cannot compete with such lavish dos. Its become a sort of competition more amongst the moms than the kids. The return gifts are getting too expensive. My son gets invited to most of these birthday parties and though he's not very demanding he's expressed the desire that his birthday too should be celebrated at such a place. They have all kinds of amusements and games set up. At one such party there was even a mongoose-snake fight to witness. We have a nice house with a lot of green space outside. I want to have the party there. There will not be readymade games but lots of space for kids to run around but since my son makes such few demands, I'm feeling guilty that I can't afford a birthday party at these expensive places. What should I do? His birthday's just two weeks away.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@youless (112570)
• Guangzhou, China
6 Aug 07
Please don't feel bad to it. Being good parents don't mean that you have to offer your children the wealth. As a matter of fact, I don't think it's good for a child to know he is living in a rich family. Because he doesn't want to study hard and work hard because he already has lots of money and he doesn't have to make an effort. I think to teach your child how to be a good person, be responsible and diligent are necessary rather than giving them money.
Money won't be a good thing all the time. It'll make people become very lazy. You can tell your children that there are still many poor children in the world. They even don't have foods and can't go to school. Your child is already very lucky and if he wants a better life, then he has to depend on himself.
@coffeeshot (3783)
• Australia
7 Aug 07
It's ridiculous what parents will do for their children's parties these days. I think it really is about the parents more so than the kids. It's a case of "I've got more money than you and I can afford a mini Elton John-type party for my child's birthday! Ooooh!"
Seriously-the things that kids love most about birthday parties are the simple things- lollies, balloons, games (simple pass the parcel and treasure hunts) and goodie bags to take home. I remember when I was a kid, my favourite part about going to other kids' birthday parties was being allowed to wear my good party dress and shoes!
@rinkub (231)
• India
7 Aug 07
I know. Life was far simpler those days and it were the simple pleasures of life that really made us happy. Its wonderful to know that there are still so many of us who cherish age-old values more than a shameless display of wealth. I've grown up really considerate and for me everything that my parents did is cherished even today. I know how hard my father worked to give me a decent education and good food. Actually, what I really remember and cherish is the amount of time my parents spent with me and the things we did together.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
I think that kind of competition is silly. I don't join such competitions, showing off how rich you are.
The extravagance of a birthday party is not the measure of how much you love your child. In fact, you should be thinking about his future like college tuition, etc. You wouldn't want your child to grow up spoiled. In the future he will have more important needs.
Don't let your child take control of your finances. You should take control. Some day your child will be mature enough to understand that money should be invested wisely, not for social competition.
A small, simple party in your own home with delicious food, closest friends and family invited, should be a nice celebration of your child's birthday.
Or better yet, why not have an out-of-town trip, just your family, so you won't have to throw a party?
@rinkub (231)
• India
7 Aug 07
I think thats a brilliant idea. Its just that our son loves his friends and he might be disappointed that they aren't being invited. Actually, he's quite a reasonable child and we'll try explaining him why birthdays are more meaningful if celebrated with people who really care and love you. Thanks a lot for your suggestions.
@alice1229 (32)
• China
7 Aug 07
Though I am unmarried now, Ifeel you should let your son know how hard to earn money. If you hold such an expensive birthday party for your son this year, he maybe demand for an even larger party next year. I am a girl from countryside. Both of my parents are poor farmers. Whenever I saw my parents working hard in the farm, Ifeel I should cherish every they earn. In that way, I seldom asked for expensive things. I hope my experience will be helpful.
Have a nice day.
@rinkub (231)
• India
7 Aug 07
Thank you very much. Thoughts such as yours are the foundation of a stabilised and a value-based society. Since my father, although gave me much more than I ever asked for, had limited means and I understood and accepted that quite early in life. I value every little thing that they've offered me and have very few material demands in life. My husband can vouch for that!
