Should grandparents indulge their grandchildren??

I think it is wonderful for grandparents to indulge but not when it is going against what the parents have said, that is only making the parents look a bit mean, yes they should to be able to buy things maybe not when they are actually there with their parents, when the parents are there they are in charge the grandparents should not interfere, but to bring things to the child on visits, for Christmas or birthdays is fine, but they must never overide the parents...

This is a sticky situation since you already said he couldn't have the toy. I don't think the grandparents should come behind you and get it for him, because it's the parent who should be deciding such things. However, if they had kept in mind that he wanted it and got it at the next holiday or something, I think it would have been fine.

It is okay to give children things, but some grandparents over-do it. My step-father is one of them, he gives his grandchildren whatever they want and then he wonders why they act bratty? Once I tell him why, he says to me, "I don't spoil them, and if I did it would not be a bad thing."

I don't see this as being a problem unless it goes against the wishes of the parents and is understood that you didn't buy the toy because you couldn't afford it but because you really didn't want them to have the toy for whatever reason . It is understandable that grandparents want to indulge their grandchildren but at the same time they have to respect that the parents don't want to raise children that are going to grow up and believe that they can have everything handed to them because they were spoiled when they were younger . I believe their have to be some sort of limits to even what grandparents buy and what is acceptable for the parents . My sister's in - laws used to spend more for Christmas every year for the grandchildren then what they would get from Santa for the children so it was hard for my sister to explain that they had to be good or Santa wouldn't get something because they didn't care because they knew Grandma and Bampy would pick it up for them anyway , this caused many arguments between my sister , her husband and his parents because he was totally against them doing this and ended up in being mad at them all the time which didn't help their relationship .

I agree with what others said. I am a grandmother but I make sure that before endulging any of my grandchildren that it is not going to go against what the parents have said, done, or believe. If I disagree I will talk to the parent, my child, in private - never in front of the grandchildren.

I think you dont very often go our with your parents these days, I mean the whole family, shopping and all that. So if this is a rare occassion, I believe we should allow them to indulge our kids. However, we should explain to the kids that this is not done all the time and it was a strain on their pocket. All grandparents are like that. maybe we too will become like that.

Well my father-in-law who is also my son's grandfather...has indulged and spoiled him since he was small...and I have let him because he enjoys it. He really doesn't spend that much time with him...so I think this is his way of showing his love...which is not ideal...but it's fine. My son is not spoiled and I think that grandparents should be allowed to spoil thier grandchildren to a certain extent. I know when I have grandchildren...I will want to spoil them too..

Did your parents spoil you? If yes - you may not allow them to spoil the grand children. If no - you may permit them to indulge.

i dont have child yet but at least i have a grandparents.... i think it is their way show gratitude to their grandchildren and i dont see it wrong for as long as they are not tolerating children in bad habbit.i must say that having a grandparents like them is wonderful, for they show affections and importance to their grandchildren. ^_^

I'm a mom and a grandparent so I have been on both sides of this issue. When in a situation such as what you describe I never ever in front of the child offer to do something that my daughter is saying "no" to. Instead, I will wait until I can ask her privately what her reason for saying "no" is. If it is simply that she can't afford it and if I have the extra cash...oh yes...please let me indulge my grandson or granddaughter! It does feel so good to "spoil" them....I prefer to call it...put a smile on their face! There are times that the parents are saying no as a means of discipline or maybe they are trying to teach the child to save his allowance for a certain item...a grandparent in that case is interfering. Treats and sweets...always get the ok from the parents first.

I'm a student,i have listened this question,i know we don't indulge their grandchildren!