How do you know it is right to marry?

It sounds like you're pretty much comitted, what is it about the concept of "marriage" that frightens you? The things most people are frightened of are living with someone, fidelity and child-rearing, all of which it seems you've already comitted to with this man. So what's your hang-up? Did you have divorces that hurt or tore your family? Are you afraid of divorce? Are you afraid of getting too comfortable that it gets boring once you're officially "married"? Or is it the wedding that bothers you? Lots of pomp and family everywhere? At this point it's really just a piece of paper, you alrady have a "marriage" established. You have stability, a household, children, a routine. You're hardly "dating" anymore. Not much would change either way. You don't have to get married if you really don't want to. I think by now you'd be concidered common law. But if he really really wants to, why not? Or maybe he's too obsessed with "marriage = commitment"? Is he afraid you're not a stable family without a formal marriage? Is he afraid you're more likely to leave him? I'm pretty good at these things if you want to e-mail me and talk about it. If not, then I understand, but I would suggest seeing a counselor to sort it out.

hi there, im married got 2 kids no one is ready for marriage . theres always unexpected things that always pops up.maybe financially someone is ready for it but not emotionally. in your part u should get married having 3 kids is good enough reason u will not have 3 kids woth this guy unless u love him. u been together for 8 yrs thats a long time for n adjustmnt period. so get married girl.

I had been with kate a few years before but I already knew from day one that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her. When it actually became right, was probably around the time her parents just exited the picture and she moved in with me and my family. I can't explain it really, but I knew she was what I hoped to find and in that we just discussed it. Actually we got engaged one month into seeing each other but we got married just before jake was born. Kudos, ~Joey I guess the time in which it becomes right, is when we see that this is what we want in our future. :)

I know when i have enough money and feel ready to be a leader of my family and also ready to be a father!

I went with my hubby for a year before marrying him...and now we've been together 17 years...16 of them in marriage. How does anyone one really know when it is right to marry? I think a number of things need to be in place...and most of them you have already achieved. My hubby and I do life coaching and group facilitation and one of the things we encourage partners to do is...clarify intentions. It might be useful for you to ask your partner to engage in an 'exercise of discovery.' What I would suggest is that each of you take some time alone and answer this question...for you it is: "I want to marry him...but I can't because." Then quickly write down anything and everything that comes to your mind without centuring anything. This allows random or even subconscious concerns come into your awareness. His question would be: "I want to marry her...because." After you have had time to allow the ideas to 'percolate' and feel ready to share them..do so. I would suggest you make sure it is a time and place where you will be uninteruppted...after the kids are in bed. If you can share in openness and trust you will hopefully create an emotionally safe place for you to discuss what your concerns are...and what might or might not be gained by a decision to wed. From what you have written here you obviously have some reticence to make what already is a 'marriage' legal. Some people are content to leave it that way forever...Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel have never made if official and they appear to have created a successful relationship. Joy Bahr on the view has been with her partner for over 20 years and doesn't want to marry either. So in my view the right time to marry is when there is a high level of comfort in making that choice and when both partners feel it is right for them. Not one of them...both of them. Wishing you bright blessings in whatever you decide. From my short association with you on my site and yours...my sense of you is that you have a lot of intuitive knowing. If you go to that quiet place Within and ask for clarity...your answers will come. To me everything we need to know is Within...all we have to do is quell our outer or intellectual concerns long enought to 'hear' the answers.

For my hubby, he told me the very first time he kissed me he knew he had to marry me because I was the only one that would be worthy to be called his wife. But as for me it was a bit longer than him. I married him because I love him and wanted to share my life as well as myself with him. I want him to grow old with me, someone to love me no matter what and protect me. He given me security as well as emotional support. I picture us in our old age together sitting in our balcony sipping on our cup of coffee or hot coco whatever it might be and enjoying each others company...to get married was a way or symbol of saying that I value you and has made a commitment to be with you no matter what the days and nights ahead will bring...the marriage document in itself is only a piece of paper because people go through marriage faster than we go through a roll of toilet paper...so it is when you are ready to make that step in faith to say yes I want to make a commitment and I will stay true to it then I believe would be the right time to get married...