Please read and laugh out loud!
By AnoChaudhary
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
India
August 8, 2007 12:43pm CST
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"!!
I nearly died!!!
PS: its NOT my story i just got it in mail n thought will share with everyone who has not read this and who need a laugh :)
1 person likes this
4 responses
@saivenkaat802003 (4823)
• India
19 Aug 07
It is so hilarious and i enjoyed reading again and again. In this connection i think of sharing a humour that i have seen in a movie.
An English Couple was so bored about the daily routine of taking the Chapatti daily as they were advised by their doctor,monotonous way.
So they decided to relax the diet restrictions for a day, and went to a five star Chinese resturant to have a break fast. In a joyous mood they took the menu card and glanced the items. To their dismay they found all the items in the menu card were written in chinese.
The Couple conversed each other and then they ordered an item in menu card by pointing a finger on it.
In a couple of minutes, the Bearer came with a two plates of Chappati and placed it before the couple. They cursed their stars and ate the Chappatis.
Now, the Wife, told the husband, that now she will place an order,this time she carefully avoided the menu card and looked around other people who were eating. In the dull lights of the room she saw, another man (in the corner of the room) gleefully eating. Now, she came to a conclusion and called the bearer and ordered two plates of, what the other Man, was eating..
This time the bearer, said " Okay, your goodness, In just a minute, i will REPEAT,ANOTHER TWO PLATES OF CHAPATTI... AND WENT."
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
19 Aug 07
LOL the chapatti story was fun venkatesh and thank for sharing it with me and iam glad you enjoyed the beans one as well :)
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Wow that was a great story. I really cant help but laugh at it. I mean you will experience that thinking how these people laugh at you while you doing the "innocent stuff". And the moment you know how awful is the smell... Oh my God... you could nearly die the moment you see the smile on their face.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
8 Aug 07
That's so hilarious.. omg, I've got tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard.
Thanks so much, I needed a good laugh.
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
8 Aug 07
you are welcome craftcatcher :) iam glad you enjoyed it as much as i did i had tears too LOL
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
13 Aug 07
What a delightfully funny post. When I first read it my brain was going...hmmm...did she get married between now and the time Ano posted her views on the soul mate idea? Then as I continued reading I started to chuckle because I think if we were honest we've all had embarrassing times when the gas buildup was so intense we just had to let it out...and hope we could escape before someone nailed us the one who did it.
The descriptors are so funny...I loved the "It smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill." It is funny because it very aptly describes the level of rankness we've all experienced.
Thanks for lightening the end of my day. I'm signing off shortly and needed a good giggle!
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
13 Aug 07
Hello Perspectives thanks for stoppin by and also received your message you sent me :) and as for the giggles iam gald you enjoyed it :)