I feel so alone/empty/hurt what ever the feeling(s)

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Even though I love my mother, she is a total "B" when she wants to be. My brothers have given up on ever having a relationship with her because she can be so nasty and down right mean. My husband had just retired and we've moved near the state that we're from to be closer to my family. My parents decide the want to move and now are only a half hour away from us. We've been doing a lot of work for them which is no problem because we love them, especially I do since they're my parents. Well just as always, she had her moment tonight and I walked out on her without saying goodbye because I knew it wouldn't be taken to heart and I'd hear a bunch more crap that I just didn't want to stick around for. It all boils down to, I was reading something to her and one thing after another she got distracted, which is her norm, which makes me feel so unimportant (just as I've been made to feel all of my life) I finally quit trying to read this thing to her and she flew into a rage and stomped to the bathroom. That's when I told hubby it's time to go in which we did. Hubby went back inside and tried to explain to my mother what had happened but she told him that it was her house and she will do as she pleases and that he caters to me which is he prorogative but she's not doing it. With that he walked out for he knew anything he said would fall on deaf ears. I'm fine that it's her house. She can have it. But I'm so tired of the past being brought up. She doesn't do it to me but tells my husband about the different things I did that hurt her in the past. I did not mean to hurt her but she was hurting me something awful and didn't want to hear my side of things, it was always about her. Never me and my feelings. I left her house when I was 16 because I couldn't take it anymore. I slept in my car for about a week before finding a place to live for a little while. I would not return home which was a living hell to me. Getting back to the point I was making, yes it's her home, fine with me but damn it all, I painted her kitchen, mud room, 3 bathrooms, and 4 bedrooms. I HAD the living room and dining room to go and now I will not go back until she's gone to the other house which is 4 hours away to pack some more. I won't go back to finish while she's there. NO WAY. Why can't she be nice to me? Why does she DEMAND respect but doesn't feel she has to give it? She has taught me to "put yourself in others shoes before doing anything or saying anything" She's taught me how to feel guilty for the bad things I've done when I was little. My past isn't the best, that's for sure but she knew I was mentally ill and in dire need of help but she didn't try to help me but rather belittled me every chance she got. I tried to commit suicide a few times but didn't succeed. I'm glad now that I didn't but still, she dogged me even then! I love my mother! I love her dearly! I just want her to love me too. Is that too much to ask for? She says I'm the only one she can talk to because my brothers are never around (I can't tell her why or I'll catch the slack) and her sister, my aunt isn't the best listener either so all she has is me but she dogs me left and right! If I show her something I've learned, she'll belittle me. Why? Why does she have to show off to others at my expense? I wish we never moved here now. I told my husband that I'm so ready to move out west and be done with it all. He's agreed but since we've just got here a year ago, we'll have to wait a few more years before trying to sell. So that means being so close to my parents but yet so far away. After this outburst and my leaving without a goodbye and her nastiness to my husband, I wonder how long it will be before she calls me this time because I'm NOT calling her.