SAHM vs. Working Dad. Whats the problem

People who don't respect SAHM's don't deserve any explanations from you or the time you're spending being annoyed with them. As far as I'm concerned THEY are the ones that should feel inadequate in comparison to the hours and duties of a SAHM. But just so you feel better, the next time yo are asked what yo do, have a creative job title prepared to use with them. Don't use the standard "domestic engineer" or "household manager", find something that they will really need to think about. While the are thinking you can mention that you work long hours and are on call 24/7...just to give them an idea that your "job" IS SERIOUS.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, too, and from my experence, people who look down at people in the stay at home role are people who have never tried it. They think we just sit around all day doing nothing when that couldn't be further from the truth.

I wouldn't worry about it. There are lots of jobs that other people don't take very seriously, and in reality, these are just jobs. They don't make you a better person or anything like that. So long as you are making the world a better place for others, I don't think it matters. And being a SAHM is great, if that is what you wanted. (I want to be one too).

Don't let it bother you that it doesn't seem respected by some people. It is respected by many people and those are the people you need to surround yourself with. Please don't let it get to you! The biggest mistake and regret in my life as a young mom was to let it get to me. My girls are 30 and 27 now with their own children and I still have regrets about that. You think I would of left peer pressure in high school but no I took it into my adult years to obviously. Later on in years I met young women who said I don't care what others think I want to stay home with my kids. If I want a career I will do it at home while they are sleeping or somehow where it doesn't take away from my family. Some said I would rather raise my family then have a career! When I would hear these women express their feelings like that I always inwardly felt I was as strong as them to follow my own personal convictions. In the end it is only ourselves we have to measure up too! Take pride in yourself for what you are doing now and in years to come you will be proud that you did!

I think it`s great that you are able to be a stay at home mom. Having a parent around is very helpful to a child especially during the formative years. You are happy and enjoy being with your children, others are probably just jealous. Don`t worry about what they think and hold your head high Blessings.

I am a stay-at-home-dad and I could fully understand how you feel. Most young family here in Singapore are double-income earners and when we bump into friends on the street, I do feel that they see as my role shouldn't be there, or at least should be reversed - the husband should be the bread-winner, that is. For a while, my male ego and pride were at work. We had to deal with 3 very young kids who could turn a house upside down, in addition to housework chores which drove me nuts, I became despondent and ill-tempered. I was forced to quit my job last year and I regretted not having an office job thereafter. It was a very big sacrifice to make, and I had always thought that being a SAHD was the worst job in the world. I even felt like a family servant. I wept quietly on some nights. I even wanted to end my life early. My wife thought that it would be a great thing to have me around ferrying the children to and fro schools and taking care of them at home like feeding, tutoring their schoolwork, bathe, and tucking them to bed. My relatives and friends could not believe I'm the one doing all these! Well, things are better now with a domestic helper we've engaged recently. I'm gradually resigning to life devoted to taking care and nuturing my kids whole-heartedly. There isn't any social life for me of course. I wish to soon take control of my life more and one way is to find out ways in which I find jobs that offer flexible time. My eldest son came in second in his class during the mid-term and I could not be more proud of. Yes, I do agree that there is no better thing than to see your kids well taken care of through your unconditional love. We just have to learn not to bother too much by people who do not understand the joy and sacrifices we're going through. I mean what do they know? Are their kids happier playing with their nannies, teachers, or daddy and mom? I'm learning to cope. I love my children too much to see them going through their childhood that's filled with fun and laughter.

Unfortunately, it seems to be standard culture in a lot of places now for families to have 2 incomes from both parents working - and I make no apologies for saying unfortunately. I think other people here have said more or less the same as I would. You are doing the best thing you can possibly do for your kids. People who pay someone else to look after their kids while they work 8 hours or more every day can not possibly have the first idea of how hard it can be but nor will they reap the rewards. I like to think of it this way: When my children achieve anything, I know it's almost ENTIRELY down to ME - how many working parents can say that? No matter how their children turn out, can they honestly say it was down to them? Of course they can't because it is someone else bringing up their children. So just think about that when your kids do cute stuff and when they do well at things (which they are more likely to do having been looked after by you than a stranger - just so I don't get people arguing with that I want to explain that it has been conclusively proven in several tests and things) Anyway, some people do not understand. I have even had a friend of my partner trying to tell me that I should accept that my partner doesn't help with the kids or around the house because he has a difficult job. People don't seem to get that we do "work" 24 hours a day. I agree with the last bit you said. The only way you can be absolutely certain that your kids are well taken care of is if you do it yourself. Personally, I am in a similar situation to you. We are not doing too badly but we have struggled financially. My youngest child is only 2 years old but I am having to look for work so we can afford to live even though my partner has a full time job! I think it's a really bad thing that society has got like this. It's all very well for people who WANT to work and have kids - personally, I would rather look after my own kids and wait until they are older before I work - but I find it makes being the "stay at home" parent seem like a bad thing. Anyway, sorry, that was a bit ranty! Well, you know you are doing the best thing for your kids and you will be proud of them. You will also have the right to be proud of yourself. My older child is 7 and he's always in the top of his class, his reports always say how well behaved he is and how pleasant he is. So think about all those things when you get people looking down on you for doing what's right because I honestly don't believe my children would be like they are if they had been in day care all day since they were tiny.s

I am a stay at home mom too. At first I felt like a lot of people thought I was avoiding work. My in laws thought we were making a huge mistake, and told us it was the wrong decision for anyone. Everyone thinks that people cant live on one income anymore. We pay our bills just fine. I dont drive a Ferari but I love my life. I know I am doing the right thing for my family and I feel very strongly about that. I have been at home now for 6 years and still I love it. Every family has what is right for them and I respect that. This is what is right for us and I am proud of the work I do. This makes the comments we hear not matter at all to us.