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i have a 4 years boyfriend.and also have a crush.actually i don't know why i like him.because he's handsome? there's a lot and a lot of guy who's also handsome out there and maybe more than him.his personality? In fact i found out that his personality not as good as his look. but everytime i see him i feel so happy and always hoping that today i will meet him.but when he's not there, i feel fine.sometimes when i'm dressing, i will try to mix and match my clothes to get the best one and i will considering whether he will like it or not. I know for sure that he won't give a damn to me.I became a little girl who just knew love for the first time. sometime we made an eye contact but that's it.And now from what i've heard he close with one of my friend. I don't know whether i should be happy or should be sad.Happy because..i don't know..should i? sad because it's normal.when we have a crush but he likes someone else,then we'll got sad.Sometime i know for sure or maybe i'm just convince my self that i like him because of his performance only.considering that my boyfriend really can accept me just the way i am and willing to sacrifice anything for me (which he did it) i feel so guilty to my boyf because i'm cheating on him.but i cannot deny this feeling inside.this feeling i have. this feeling that grew.am i wrong? am i doing the bad thing? for your information,my boyfriend knew it because i told him when we were having a big fight and almost break up.after i told him, i feel relieved because i'm honest (too honest i guess) and there's nothing to be kept anymore.of course i love my boyfriend.but how about my feeling?should i deny it or just let it flow?