Do you allow your partner/ parent to open your letter?
By maehan
@maehan (1439)
United States
August 10, 2007 12:59pm CST
Yes, ever since my first letter my mom give to me from the mail box. I asked my parent to read them for me. I do not mind even if it is personal. My parent have the full authority to open my letters, school result slip, bank account statement etc.
After I married, I get my spouse to do that for me even on my banking. Currently, I am the one who will open the mail box and collect all the letters. I will put everything on my husband study desk. When he return, he will review them and give me my summary if I have any.
My friend said I am a wierdo as personal letter means privacy. I know, but, I just lazy. Do you allow your partner/ parent to open your letter?
5 people like this
35 responses
@raychill (6525)
• United States
10 Aug 07
why don't you read your own mail? Personally, I'd be almost offended if I wrote my friend a letter and knew they never read it themselves, had someone else read it for them. I could understand if you do not know how to read... but otherwise I just can't understand.
I've always HATED when someone else opens my mail. Why, because it's MY mail. It's written to me, not to them and therefor I should be the one to open it and read it first. Mostly they can see it after, but not before me.
Actually it's against the law to open someone elses mail.
2 people like this
@maehan (1439)
• United States
11 Aug 07
When I am in Singapore and at that time, I am working and my job required travelling alot. Worst still, the shortest trip is a month and the longest is probably a year. So, I need my mom to help me with my letter, scan and email to me so I can follow up with bills especially. As for my friend, they know my job nature, thus honestly I don't even received letter from them, greeting card will be e-card and letter will be email.
Right now, I am in USA, I don't receive a single mail not even bill. Majority are attention to both of us. That's why I don't even bother to open it.
But, I do agree with you. At times, if it is personal and friend had some serious or private stuff to share. It will be no good. But, my mom will alert me that it may be a personal mail from my friend when there is no name and address behind the envelope. Thanks raychill, I sincerely appreciate your concern and sharing. Cheers!
2 people like this
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
11 Aug 07
I dont mind it one bit he (my husband) can open and read it I dont care because we dont get many personal letters so it makes no difference to me at all.
2 people like this
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
12 Aug 07
Right now I dont have the need to hide anything but if I do I know that snail mail is not the was to do it I am going to use smoke signals thats the easiest and best way to do it and its safe ;)
@srik45 (176)
• India
11 Aug 07
Hmmm dont think ill let my parents do that right now coz they do not know abt my Girlfrnd and ill be grounded and screwed if they know that now, as far as my spouse she can open it,
btw i dotn get any letter on my name ;)
@Bujoyseth (1684)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
no! i don't allow them because it's private! and even if if i'm out, they won't open my letter and also when i'm the one who receive somebody's letter, i don't open it.. it's a sense of respect to one's privacy... and that's one important thing we have to know but of course it will depend on the letter's owner if he/she will let anyone open his/her own letter.. but i repeat, i want ,i privacy, i will never allow anyone to open my letter..
2 people like this
@puput_251 (128)
• Indonesia
10 Aug 07
You may allow you your partner / parent to open your latter...
But to your friendship or people which your trust in your life... or you can your mother for reading your latter again.
@jhanna (334)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
Of course I would not allow that, I have to read it first before others got to read. It doesn't mean if you're married you already, you lose your privacy.
Opening letters not address to you is rude. It's the same with opening messages on the cellphone or reading other people's e-mails.
2 people like this
@nickventere (1420)
• Zambia
11 Aug 07
I find nothing wrong or bizarre to allow my wife to open my mails. If I had anything to hide from her, I wouldn't! But I have nothing to hide in the first place. So I don't mind if she wanna open my mail.
2 people like this
@x1x2x3 (152)
• India
11 Aug 07
Earlier my dad used to open up my letters but since he time i have started doing job, my dad does not do such an act. He just handover my letters to me. He never ask me about my bank statements also. I am not married till now so canot say such a thing for spouse but i would certainly like that she should open my letters and i could open her letters.
@rhonerlianz (173)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 07
No direct answer of "YES' or "NO" for this question. The answer is depend. I can allow my parent or partner to open my letter, no problem. However, confidential letter should not be treated like that, because confidential letter is not for everyone. So, the answer could be "YES" or "NO" depends on the type of letter.
2 people like this
@kevsgirlalways (5883)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 07
nope, i don't think i'll allow my partner or parents to open a letter addressed to me. when i was young, i had penpals and my parents always want to read the letters that my penpals sent me. now they are not as curious as before, if i receive any cards or letters in the mail. if it's nothing then i don't mind showing it to my parents, sometimes letters can contain some secret as well hehehe... :P
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
Hi maehan! It is always I who open my letters, may it be business or personal. It has always been our practice to open mails that are only adressed to us. But I don't see anything wrong with your style because you have given permission to your hubby and your parents to read your mail. Sometimes, I ask my hubby to open mails for me too. I guess, as long as you were alllowed to open somebody's mail, that is just fine. Have a nice day and take care!
2 people like this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I have never opened my daughters private mail unless on accident and it is not ok for her to open mine. When I was a teen, my mom was nosy and did open my personal mail ...read diarys and notes from friends. I hated it. I suppose if you are ok with it then there is nothing wrong with it. To each his own. you are not a weirdo just because you do things differently....you are unique and that is a good thing. I would not worry about this ...its all so harmless.
@baby12345 (57)
• China
11 Aug 07
no.i can't stand it ...i unallow my parent to open my letter.they can not impinge on my privacy.
2 people like this
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
11 Aug 07
well,if i were you,i wouldn't let my partner read my letters.It is privacy,and i think couples should keep their secret,they need their own space.
My bf and i don't read each other's letters ever.One day,i read my bf's dairy by accident,and i told him after that.He didn't blame on me ,but from his face,i knew he was unhappy about it.
So from then on ,i never read anything on privacy.
2 people like this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
11 Aug 07
I know married couples who don't open each others' mail after 30 years of marriage.
My parents and sisters don't open my mail, nor do I open theirs. But I open things addressed to my husband, and vice versa.
Every person will have their own level of need for privacy.
2 people like this
@maehan (1439)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I don't open anybody mail unless I am instructed to. My husband will ask me to open his mail if he is outstation.
My parent will get me to read their mail if they encounter difficulty in understanding the letter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
1 person likes this
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
11 Aug 07
I don't mind my parents and my partner open my letter, but others can't do it. Although I let my parents and my partner open my letter, but I never open their letters without permission.
Besides, all my cards and e-mail passwords are open to my parents and my partner, and they tell their passwords to me, but i have a poor memory.
2 people like this
@mastinet (467)
• India
11 Aug 07
Yes, I do allow my partner and parents to open my letters. I do not have any objection in that and I think there is nothing hidden between parents and child and even your life partner. Then whats the problem in allowing them to open your personal letters?
They all are our own.
