how can you feel when someone left you....

Means that now you are having self conflict of interest. In the mean time your are in trouble you still try to figure out the worsen part that will be and it is 'if and only if'. 'Sort and solve' is the practical way in handling your case right now. First you have to sort out your current problems, identifying it one by one, and solve it for which problem that could possibly be done first. To overcome the lists of problems in one short time is impossible. But never think the pre-event matters because it will exacerbate your present life and definitely makes you lack of energy and normally ended up with depression. First and foremost, your baby needs you and your lovely care taking. And I know its uneasy for you to forget, simply, all those bad things happening in your life, but self determinations will help you to settle all of it. Buckle up yourself towards the solution findings.

move on gurl start right now think about the kids start a whole new life without him.i know it's so easy to say this but as far as i know you have to do it and start now.

living by someone we love is such a painful experience and sometimes a traumatic one. helping our selves to the acceptance of fact and nature is a must. i think we should look at it in good aspect, like believing that he/she will be in God's side, h/s will never feel pain anymore and you dont have to worry nomore for h/s is happy wherever h/s is right now..... it is painful but we have to face the fact that we all will get there by our time... ^_^