New Co-Worker Problems
By bojo96
@bojo96 (46)
United States
August 11, 2007 8:23am CST
At my workplace there are 6 staff and our supervisor. The newest member has worked there for 2 months...the rest of us for over 2 years. The new employee is driving 3 of us nuts!!! One staff likes her because she finally has someone to listen to all of her dirty little gossip. Another staff puts up with her because she is his wife's cousin. The 3 of us that don't like her are pulling our hair out. We do our jobs and we do them well. I have the commendations, raises, and job titles to prove it. The new woman feels things should be done her way, even though she has never worked in this field (working with adults who have developmental disabilities) before. She will come along behind us and change our paperwork, move things, and tell us how and why she feels we should be doing something differently. I've talked to her a few times about being new and there are reasons we do what we do. She'll calm down for a day then be right back at us.
She can't even run her home life...her two sons 18 & 22 come into work demanding money, bossing her around, and her husband (who is at home, when they do this) sends them to her. What makes her think she can control us?
My supervisor is a great guy...but has a blind eye when it comes to staff faults. It took us 2 months to get him to believe another staff was stealing money from the clients. He keeps saying she's just trying to fit in. No, she's trying to take over and make everything the way she wants it, even if it is against state regulations.
What would you guys do in this situation...it is coming down where I'm going to stop being nice and quit trying to explain things to her, because she doesn't care why things are the way they are. She just wants them her way.
2 people like this
4 responses
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Start by trying to empathize with her. If she has no control at home, she is trying to gain some control elsewhere for her own sense of self worth. It will put your heart in the right place before dealing with the problem.
Next, remember that a soft answer turns away wrath. Come up with a gentle response you can give her that she will grow to know is a clue that she is overstepping her boundaries again. Something like, "I can see why you would want to do it that way. But for purposes of meeting regulations, please be sure to run this by someone before you make changes in the future" Something that wont cause her claws to come out. And make it something you can say over and over without letting your emotions get involved. Then just continue to do your job the excellent way you do it.
Sounds like your supervisor has not established definite boundaries for who does what. If they are not willing to do that for the good of the office then you have a resposiblity to yourself to maintain your own sense of self worth..... one that was there and firmly in place before she ever came along.
Don't pull your hair out. No one is worth that.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Ooops, I just started typeing away and sent this response before ever noticing that this discussion in 11 months old.
I sure hope this problem has been worked out by now.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
11 Aug 07
How frustrating. When she tells you why she thinks something should be done a certain way, do you tell her why things are done the way they are done? And does she listen? Because if everyone is explaining to her why things are done, and she isn't listening, she may be a lost cause.
@firegoddess (17)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I know my job doesn't really compare to yours, but i work in a deli. There are 9 of us and the morning crew thinks they run everything b/c the manager works mornings. They ridicule us and when we come in on afternoons we get yelled at for a million things done wrong the night before. So finally what i did is i talked straight to the manager and asked her what we were doing so wrong. She was telling me a million things and finally i made her show me instead of telling me "this has to be done better...". I suggest you take mystery girl aside and humor her: make her show you how she wants things done and when she shows you, tell her why it isnt' done like that, when she corrects you go straight to her and ask her why she did it, and then prove to her that's the way things are done and have been done for the 2 years previous to her being there, when she undermines you then step up to her and prove that you aren't a push over but i wouldn't do it in a way that's going to get you fired either.
@bojo96 (46)
• United States
12 Aug 07
Hi firegoddess,
I hope your job is going better...it sucks when it seems you can't do anything right. Luckily, my supervisor considers me his "right arm" and actually gives me a lot of praise and leeway in my actions. He's just blind to a person's faults (including mine). I have been humoring her, but it has ended. I have drawn the line on what I will and will not allow her to get away with. We'll see how it goes from here. Thanks for responding!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 08
I would go back to my boss again and tellhim in just the same words as you have told us what is happening and how bad it is making all three of you feel. I have been ina similar situation and its hard to know how far to go. My boss was not sympathetic at all and I ended up being let go the nasty nice way of saying you are fired. You have an advantage asyour boss is a nice guy so go to him again and tell him you are having atime just to be nice to this unpleasant employee.The bizarre thing in my own case was that both my boss and her underling were also let go a month after me.
