Never tell a woman to "calm down"!
By miamilady
@miamilady (4910)
United States
August 12, 2007 2:47pm CST
Trust me. It's a bad idea!
Okay, I know I'm generalizing here, but from my personal experiences (meaning my behavior and the behovior of some I've observed). If you tell a woman to "calm down". All your gonna to is make her more angry.
First of all, saying that implies she isn't calm.
Secondly, if she's angry or agitated, the last thing she wants, it someone telling her her what to do!
11 people like this
30 responses
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I'm glad I was able to make you laugh! :-)
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
12 Aug 07
LMFAO omg great thread!! LOL yea I'm one of those women who one does NOT want to tell to "calm down" when I'm on the rampage...thats libel to get a person seriously beaten LOL..However I REALIZE and ACKNOWLEDGE that I'm NOT calm so being told that I am doesnt phase me..its the telling me to calm down when I'm bloody well not ready to AND telling me what to do that gets me more ticked off LOL
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
12 Aug 07
Amen. I think if you say calm down to the wrong person, you will wake up in the hospital! It isn't the smartest thing to do.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I know this is true for me. I hate it when my husband tells me to calm down when I'm agitated. It makes me more PO'd then I already was! :P I usually tell him shut his trap...after all, how am I supposed to calm down when he pointed it out that I'm not calm? It drives me crazy! I have since told him that it makes it worse if he points it out. After all, I don't point it out to him when he is in a pissy mood. And something tells me he wouldn't like it if I did! LOL
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
13 Aug 07
hmmm Maybe everyone should show this discussions to their husbands so they can see that it's not just that "you are crazy" but that all of us are! lol
I'm somewhat kidding, but sometimes I think that spouses think the things that we do are nuts and don't realize that it is a common reaction.
Apparently from what I've seen it isn't only woman that react that way, but maybe we react to those words more strongly than men.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
12 Aug 07
You've got that right! It's hard trying to convince my husband that half the time I raise my voice I'm not actually yelling. He thinks I am.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5526)
• Pakistan
13 Aug 07
Hello miamilady, Calm down! Please!
I hope you aren't already angry, so won't get mad at me, but if you are, then please calm down! as I can't afford to fight with anyone here:-)
Joke aside, When my partner is real angry on someone (I usually pray that, that someone is not me!:-)), I join her in her roars, but it happens very rarely as she is a very kind lady:-)
When she is on rampage and shows her anger on someone, I say "Yes", with a particular innocent look on my face and the next thing would be a laugh from her. It has worked for me till now and I hope my formula will not be a waste in anytime to come. If it does become obsolete, I'll be in a real trouble to look for another remedy!:-)
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
13 Aug 07
"Hello miamilady, Calm down! Please!
I hope you aren't already angry, so won't get mad at me, but if you are, then please calm down"
I AM CALM!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
j/k ha ha very funny.
It sounds like you have a good forumala going with your wife. Good for you. It's great when you can successfully lighten the mood.
Take care.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5526)
• Pakistan
14 Aug 07
LOL! it really feels good when a negative mood can be turned to a lighter one just with a gesture. I hope it will keep working for me since I don't have to use it often. My lady is a very soft and kind hearted person.
And yes, let me tell you one of my real experiences of this sort here on mylot. Back when I started, I entered into a discussion where a poster stated something and three ladies became mad on him. They not only started to abuse and name call him for his opinion but also abused the personality he respected. I just entered to say them, "Calm down ladies!", he has just stated his opinion to which he is wholly entitled to. The result...well, you can well imagine. They did the same to me for just asking them to calm down and be respectful, and the next day my rating dropped a whole 12 points:-)
I just thought I would support your point by writing a real experience on here:-)
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
14 Aug 07
I may have run into those three ladies myself! lol
1 person likes this
@senthil2k (1500)
• India
15 Aug 07
I think this is true not only for the women, but for the men also. Many men too react in the same way in such cases. It more related to the Psychology rather than the Gender, I feel.
@goddessglamourpuss (261)
•
13 Aug 07
I don't think it necessarily aplies just to women but from my own experience it is the last thing you should do. If I get really het up about something then it has been a progressive thing so I feel totally justified in my response. Being told to calm down is like throwing petrol on a bonfire!
To me it implies that the person is not listening to what I am saying or caring about my feelings. It's like they are reacting to me as an over-emotional woman and not an individual with a problem.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Very well said.
I agree that it isn't only a female reaction, but maybe in women it's more frequent and more intense.
I've been thinking about this since reading some of the responses.
I'd say IF I'm right. The reason women are more senstive to those words is because we are more sensitive in general about being told what to do, especially by the opposite gender. We have come a long way in equality, but there are still double standars out there that we are battling.
Thanks for your response.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
17 Aug 07
I have read the book. I learned a lot from it.
Thanks for your response.
@TheCatzMeow1 (579)
• United States
13 Aug 07
You've got that right honey! I can't stand being told what to do! If I'm upset and someone tells me to calm down, it only gets me more wound up. I can be quite the little vixen when I get my wires crossed.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Amen, sister! That and "relax"! When I'm mad and need to vent, the last thing I want to hear is something like this.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
14 Aug 07
I agree. I don't like to be told to calm down and when I do i get pi$$ed off even more LOl especially if its my husband telling me to calm down. I will calm down when I am good and ready thank you LOL
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
13 Aug 07
I agree with you on that it's not a good idea to tell an angry woman to calm down because for me it adds to it..But if i'm emotionally upset and my husband comes in please hun calm down cuz I've cried so hard I've hyperventlated i'm okay with that but when I'm angry I say who are you to tell me to calm down blah blah blah lol
