Bullying gone too far...
By patgalca
@patgalca (18366)
Orangeville, Ontario
August 12, 2007 9:16pm CST
It is a very sad state of affairs when a child dies as a result of bullying. In Manitoba last week a child was stripped of his clothes and pushed into a lake by a bunch of 7 and 8 year olds. The little boy did not know how to swim and drowned. I hope these little boys have learned a very strong lesson from this.
Have you spoken to your children about bullying? Is your child a bully or been bullied?
My daughter has been bullied... mildly. She is very quiet and shy and doesn't stand up for herself. When she was in mid-elementary school she came home and complained about a girl who would follow her around all the time and tell other people they couldn't be my daughter's friend. It became very uncomfortable for my daughter when that same child told another girl that I was a b*tch. I finally had to speak to the teacher because my daughter had to sit next to this girl and didn't want to create trouble. I just asked the teacher that they be separated. He had seen there was a problem and obliged.
On another occasion this same daughter of mine had a friend's basketball. It was not hers to give up but some boys tried to get it from her and literally dragged her across the school yard. She came home with scrapes of dirt and grass all down the side of her pants. Nothing could be done as no one had seen these boys before. They don't think they even went to their school.
My younger daughter was involved in a little bit of bullying last winter when a boy became possessive of her and wouldn't let any of the other boys near her and started jumping on them. I had to tell my daughter to stop playing with the boys. She has always played with boys, is a tomboy and thinks the girls are boring. She has both boy and girl friends now.
Any bullying experiences you'd like to share?
5 people like this
10 responses
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I hate hearing about bullying. I always feel bad for the victims. I was never bullied in school, fortunately. I may have been a bit of an outcast at times, but I was never bullied. I stood up once or twice for a friend that was being bullied. Nothing big came of it. I just came out with some smart alec comment toward the bully and they backed off.
Many bullies are cowards in disguise.
Last year there was a program at my childs school regarding bullying. I guess it was an awareness campaign or something.
I think that schools should do as much as they can to discourage bullying.
3 people like this
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
13 Aug 07
My children's school has a bullying program as well but everyone is reluctant to use it because they feel they will be found out by the bully. No-win situation. There is actually a box in the lobby of the school that looks just like a Canada Post mail box for kids to put notes into but I don't think they use it at all.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Bullying does go too far, but like I said before the parents are at fault. How do I know this? If the parents are paying attention to their children and they are conversing with them, then the child will not feel compelled to bully others.
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
14 Aug 07
I totally agree with you. I think two working parents and broken homes have something to do with this. The girl that bothered my daughter was being shuffled back and forth between Mom and Dad and I figured she just wasn't being listened to so she became bossy at school. I explained this to my daughter but it didn't help the situation any.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
13 Aug 07
I feel sorry for that little boy who drowned. Unfortunately, the way things are now adays, I am afraid that the ones who bullied did not care and if they were scolded and showed remorse it was only because they were caught. I was bullied by a bigger girl when I was in grade school. The other girls found out and beat her up and I was hysterical. The teacher scolded me, and from then on, I felt no one would understand and I started to grow cold and not trusting inside. The part about blaming the victim is all too true.
@tad1fan (3367)
• Canada
27 Aug 07
The worst thing about bullying is that most kids learn how to do it from their parents and upbringing....I've dealt with many bullying situations in my b22 years of parenting and have NEVER met a parent of a bully who isn't a bully themselves,but 'do nothing wrong'.....I read about this and it brought tears to my eyes to know that this little boy left the world at such a young age and for no reason at all,he was in the 'wrong' place at the 'wrong' time....it's so sad what this world is becoming!My most recent bullying experience occurred last April in school....my son had complained to me about a group of kids that were always on him about everything,I had complained to the school on many occasions but because these kids had a good rep,they didn't believe anything they were told until one day when they cornered my son,mocked and teased him but got no response,they than turned to another child,who just so happened to be a girl,my son was taught to never hit a girl or allow it....they mocked and teased this little girl into tears and my son ended it by hitting the ring leader in the nose....he went to the office and so did the little girl and many other kids who backed his story but because of the 'no tolerance' policy in the school they wanted to expel my child,I agreed,but not until i met the other kid,with their parents and had them confess to everything they had ever done and they too were expelled.....I say it's time for the parents of bullied children to ban together and put an end to this,once and for all.
Sorry for the long response,but thank you for giving me a chance to give my opinion on this topic.
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
27 Aug 07
No need to apologize. Sorry to hear about what happened to your son. I really hope that we can put an end to this terrible behaviour among children and adults alike. My ex-husband was a bully, as were his parents. I guess it's a good thing we couldn't have kids. One step in stopping the cycle. Thanks for sharing your story.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
13 Aug 07
Parents and authorities should be vigilant about this. Those bullies responsible should be punished even if they are minors. If I was the father of the victim I might kill those bullies, though I don't really have a right to say this. Back in elementary school I made fun of a mentally retarded classmate. I led him to the middle of a forest then ran and left him there. No harm for him though. He made it back safe and sound. I of course regret having done that.
I think what goes on in the mind of a bully is that he enjoys the power he has over a person perceived to be weaker, so I would say the solution is to definitely fight back. Make the bully feel that you're not afraid and that he's not superior in any way.
@aninspiration (346)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I have a friend that ghas a daughter the same age as my grandaughter when we get together her daughter is always buling lexi arouind and kind of mean to her It hurts me to see it and it hurts me that my friend wont say anything They are both six I even heard the girl tell her not to bring her babies over because she only wanted clean babies and lexis were dirty but the are not some are new and others she baths with all the time The kid is just rude Alot of times I just tell lexi its time to go but yet lexi always ask to go back and play she likes haveing a friend to play with
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
13 Aug 07
Good thing that bullying is not that rampant on my side of town, as I was lucky enough I never got bullied while at school. Here, there's no place for bullies. Because people deal with them immediately, either they are warned or face the wrath of the whole community. Sometimes, bullies here also get a dose of their own medicine. They consider themselves lucky if they end up on hospitals, as most of the times they commonly end up on cemetaries buried 6 feet below the ground.
People here in my country are peace lovers, but they don't want to be provoked just to show their other side of personality.
I think the very best way to settle this one out is to report them to the school administrators, notify the BULLY'S parents and let them decide on what they have to do with their child.
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
25 Sep 07
There was a similar incident in Britain where a boy was thrown off a bridge by bullies and drowned, they were all slightly older though and they didn't take his clothes off. I hope the boys were put in juvenile hall for what they did, in England the kids got custodial sentences.
I was bullied verbally but luckily never had any physical violence from my peers at school.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
27 Aug 07
That is such a terrible terrible story! Poor little boy! Do you what happened to the boys that pushed him into the lake? I know they were young, but surely SOMETHING had to happen to them!?
I really hate bullying too. It is so sad and just really really stupid! The world would be a better place if we got rid of all bullying! Of course, bullying doesn't only happen with little kids, or just at any grade level of schools. Bullying happens everywhere, even between adults! And it should be stopped! It's just immature!
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
27 Aug 07
I haven't heard anything other than the fact that the children were minors and would not be prosecuted. Hopefully some other form of action will be taken against them, though I'm guessing they are feeling guilty enough as it is and I CERTAINLY hope they have learned a lesson.
@pinnibabu (135)
•
13 Aug 07
I as a child had been bullied by my own relatives. The issue was comparing me with their kids. Comparison as on looks, studies,........I am a mother of a 5-yr-old now. Both me and my hubby as parents are teaching her to be strong, Not to bully, and Not be bullied by others. In case anybody does bully, thought her how to revolt back.
