Do you think stay at home moms and working moms are supportive of eachother?

I think that more often than not, working moms consider stay at home moms lazy. Many of them regard us stay at home moms with a certain disdain. I've actually had working moms accuse me of just wanting to sit on my @ss all day. If working moms really think that that's what stay at home moms do... then they should stay home with their kids more often, because they know nothing about raising children. On a daily basis, I clean my living room not once but at least 3 times. I also clean my son's bedroom at least once a day (he likes to dump his toys out of the toybox). There's also the bathroom -- he's just learning how to use the potty, so he gets it all over the place sometimes and that must be cleaned several times a day. Not to mention the mess if he throws up -- all over the toilet, the walls around the toilet and the floor. I gotta clean that up too. Then there's laundry and the dishes, the cooking, the kissing of boo-boos, the holding and calming him when he has a meltdown and having to constantly dress him (he likes taking his clothes off). Yep. I'm just sitting on my @ss all day. Personally, my attitude is "to each his own." Working moms either wanted or had to go back to work after having their child. I didn't have to. So I've been able to stay at home with my son. But I do get pissed and very vocal when someone says that I'm just sitting around all day.

My sister is a stay-at-home mom, and recieves criticism from men and women alike who work. The cost of daycare offsets most income she could make from working, and most of these people are okay with dumping their kids in daycare... I wonder who'll be the better parent in the long run?

I don't think we are supportive of each other. As a full time mum, I sometimes find it difficult to be supportive of working mums. Maybe it's because of the kind of people I know who are working mums. A lot of them do think that full time mums don't do anything, which I don't understand particularly when a lot of those working mums are sat in an office for 8 hours a day. I find that very hypocritical of them. And I also find that they don't seem to appreciate just how hard it is to be there 24/7 for your children. If you choose to go back to work then that's your choice but you shouldn't criticise others for staying at home. (I don't use the phrase "stay at home mum" any more because it does make it sound lazy. That's why I say "full time mum", it's more accurate as most good "stay at home mums" don't actually stay at home.) I do wonder though, why people who do have the choice would choose to have a child and then go to work. I can understand if there is financial difficulty or if they are a single parent but I can never understand why any mum would so willingly give up her time with her child for anything when there is no need. I try not to be judgemental but this is the way I see things. I have tried working full time, I did it when my oldest son was 2 years old. I only lasted 3 weeks and it was the most horrible 3 weeks of my life. I had left him with my sister so I knew he was in good hands but I hated not being with him and I felt so tired when I did get back to him that, apart from the time I was taking away from him to go to work, I so badly wanted a rest when I'd finished that I found it even harder to spend time with him. I had a little bit extra money which was nice but I didn't have the time to spend it on my son and for the amount I was paid, it wasn't worth it as I was paying half of it to my sister for looking after him. Now, my kids are 7 and 2. I'm looking for work again because we can not afford to live on my partners wage any more. I just don't know if we'll be any better off once we've paid for childcare, which is another thing I don't understand because I know working mums who seem to only earn what they spend in childcare so the finacial incentive disappears as well. I think all mums should support each other but in my personal experiences, neither understands the other unless they have had both experiences and even then, some working mums seem to want to "justify" their situation by putting down full time mums. And, to make this fair so I don't appear to be judgemental, there are some stay at home mums who are lazy, I want to differentiate between a full time mum who looks after her home and her kids properly and a stay at home mum who really does sit doing nothing all day and then spends evenings in the pub and stuff like that. I know some really awful mums who have stayed at home. One in particular who I can think of, she has obviously never actually really bothered with her children and now has only just got a job because her benefits stopped (I'm not judging people on benefits either because if I had to, I would and I would always be there to look after my kids if I could). This person has kids who are old enough to look after themselves so she didn't have an excuse any more. I know it can be hard to get work that fits round your kids once they are at school but I see no reason when your kids are more or less grown up why someone would still choose to be on benefits instead of working.

I think we are critical of each other, often to an extreme extent. If someone is doing something different to ourselves we often feel threatened by it. Sad but true, difference scares us. The more insecure we are in our own lives the more likely we are to condemn anyone who chooses a different p0ath blessed be

I think is individual decision. When I am a working mother back in Singapore, my sons have their swimming lesson on every Saturday & Sunday Morning. Then, gymnastic in the afternoon. My neighbor is a SAH Mom. At times, when I need to get back to the office in the morning, I will get her help to take care of my sons (bring them to the swimming class) and I will be back by noon. Vice versa, her husband work required extensive travelling. Once, her girl had a high fever and need to hospitalize. She called me to help her to pick up her son in school. When I became a SAH mom in USA, I understand the working mom may need help especially during peak period of work. Recently, my sons classmate grandparent need to return to vietnam for 2 weeks due to some urgent matter. My sons told me that his friend still unable to locate a baby sitter. His dad told me that it is difficult to get a afterschool care/ baby sitter for only 2 weeks. So I do understand both of them are working. So I offer my help to them by taking care of their 2 boys. I think regardless SAH mom or working moms, we need to support each other, this will make a happy living environment and so call win-win situation.

I agree with you, but you are also right that it is a personal decision. I am a stay at home mother but I also work from home. So I think it is even harder, because while working I am most of time also doing the kids

Yes it is up to the person if they want to work also some have to go to work to help with bills if hubby dont make enough to go around. Then we have single moms that have to get out there and work to support their kids.

I would like to think supportive of one another. After all, each family situation is unique. It is not a one size fits all. It would not be fair to critique someone if you have not walked in their shoes.

I think there are a lot of moms who are very critical of any mom who does things differently than they do. I've had several other moms ask me what I do all day since I don't work. I tell them I do the same things for my child that the babysitter does for theirs. Clean up after him, cook for him, read him stories, give him baths, play outside together, etc. I worked when he was a baby, and there were just as many people then telling me that I needed to be home with him instead. At that time, we needed the extra income to get some stuff paid off. Now we can afford for me to stay home, as long as we watch our budget closely. Everyone in our family is happier, but that's definitely not the way it would be for some families. I know some women who would hate to be home all day, and love working. So that's what they need to do. I know others that would love to stay home with their kids full time, but haven't figured out a way to afford it, so they have to work. The reasons that moms choose to go to work or to stay at home differ with every family.

Miami,I agree with you that there are those that criticize each other.I think that it stems from jealousy or envie where one party wishes they had what the other has. It would be interesting to see a nation wide poll about such matters. I personally feel that a Mom should stay home,at least when the children are around.Just work parttime so that there is stability in the home at least while the children are under the age of 13 or 14. We all understand the economic pressure families face today..However the emotional welfare of our kids should be a higher priority.

I think it all depends. I havent been able to experience either, because Im only 17. But I do know of some stay at home moms whos children are in higschool and they just dont go to work because they dont feel like it, and I do know of others who work their butt off taking care of household chores and laundry and taking care of children. So thats why im on the fence with this decisions. I think stay at home moms deserve more credit, but some are giving the hardworkers bad reps because they are the ones that sit around and do nothing "because they can" But just because working moms arent taking care of their kids ALL day im pretty sure its tough when they come home to keeping up with work and chores. To each its own I guess.. they both work equally hard at what they do, they should both get credit for what they do..equally.

I'm sure it goes both ways but here is what I see. The stay at home moms look down on us working moms because we can't be there for all of the parties and field trips. They look at us like we are neglecting our kids. Being single we also get looked down on because we are not married and it doesn't matter why we are not married. You can catch them talking about us behind our backs. It's wrong. I don't think a stay at home mom is any lazier than a daycare provider meaning not at all. I was home with my son for 5 months while unemployeed. I know what it is like so I guess I'm one of the few that can see both sides. If you are able to stay at home and raise your kids I think that is wonderful. Kids need their parents. But on the other hand if you need to work to provide a good home for your kids than that is what you have to do. I think more stay at home parents should consider this while passing judgement and visvera.

When I was a stay at home mom, I had friends that worked and those who stayed home. Since I met most of them through the Home and School Association, we had a common goal and there was no issue of this. I did have a working mother neighbor who frequently took advantage of stay at home moms, without ever really admitting she did it. She herself, was annoying. As a general rule, we were supportive of each other. It is a shame if things have regressed to before the 90's.

I have done both...most stay at home moms work very hard at what they do and deserve all the respect in the world. There is a stigma about women who stay home i agree but I'm not sure why that is. you are right it is an individual decision and should be what is right for the family.

Personally I had no choice but to go out to work because I was a single parent from the start. Well I guess I did have a choice - I could have lived on benefits (welfare) but that option just didn't appeal to me. I worked part-time until my daughter started school and from then on I worked full-time. I've never been critical of stay at home mothers - if that's an option that's open to them then fair enough it's their choice. I agree there is no right or wrong answer. I think it's as foolish to stereotype all stay at home mothers as lazy as it is to portray all working mothers as negligent - it's about what works for you and your family.

I too think that each family has to do what's right for them. The thing is, for some women, you're never sure that you're doing the right thing. One way to affirm you're doing the right thing is if that is what others are doing. So people get really defensive about their choices, and conflict occurs.

I think the only reason one would be critical of the other is because they are not confident in their life decision. Most of the time career moms criticize stay at home moms because they wish they could stay at home more. Stay at home moms criticize career moms because they wish they could get out of the house like career moms. I'm not a mom, but I will probably keep my career when I become a mom because that is what I WANT to do. If I change my mind and WANT to stay home, I will. What others do won't affect my decision, not will what others do bother me.

Well I'm not a mom but if I had children I would want to stay at home with them, especially when they are really young. Not everyone can do that and not everyone wants to. I don't think there is a right or wrong. I think a happy mother makes a better mom whether its working inside or outside the home.

Most definitely an individual or family choice, what works for one family may not work for others, and that does not mean one is worse off than the other. I have been in both situations and neither are easy, both require commitment, patience blah blah you name it, either situation is very hard and no one else can say to me which one is better because my family chose what was right for us at each time. I am glad that I have had the opportunity to be able to have done both - I don't feel my son has missed out entirely and I am glad that he is happy and safe, that is what is important to me. Now that he will be starting school next month I don't know what i am going to do? maybe take up a part time job or get fully involved in his school, we shall see. I am looking forward to having a bit of a break and quiet time for me though :)

I know a lot of stay at home moms and a lot that go to work. Some of the stay at home moms say that they would never work, it's way too much of a hassle when the man can do it for them. I don't think that should be the reason of being a stay at home mom. I actually would like to be a stay at home mom, not because I hate working or whatever, but because I would be able to be there for my children and keep my home nice and neat. Also, I've had experience in the working world and I don't mind it, I just prefer to stay home and do those things.