Do you feel pressured to teach your young children everything?

My children aren't toddlers anymore, but I remember when they were. Yes, people seemed to be overly concerned with my childrens "milestones" etc. I'm not sure why people do this. It think for one, it's to enjoy the moment with you. But I think there is another part, which is human nature to overanalyze others. It kind of bugs me, but it's that way with children and other aspects of life as well. It seems that as a parent, someone is always telling you that your child is "too" something. Too active, too chubby, too slow etc. I don't know why people can't just accept that everyone will grow and learn at their own pace and leave it at that. Try not to let it get to you. Just think of it as human nature. Take care.

You will never be able to teach your child everything. There is so much attention put on teaching children that I feel it can cause them to burnout. If the child is curious, by all means teach them. Feed the mind, but don't fry it.

I don't feel pressured to teach my children everything. My son in in the kindergarten right now and I continue to help him with his homework. My daughter is not in daycare so I spend a few minutes a day teaching her things on her level in a fun educational way. I have not experienced anyone pushing my children but if I did I would tell the people that my child is going to be fine academically so stop worrying about how much he knows and let him enjoy childhood.

I do feel that in todays society that we are pressured more than in the past to teach our kids everything. My son is going to kindergarden in a couple weeks, I will be paying 3,500.00 for him to go to a catholic school, he had to take a test to see where he would be placed and then they sent him home with a ton of paperwork on things for me to work on with him through the summer. They want him to know sooooo much that I want to know why I am paying so much for my child to go to K that he already knows everything for 1st grade because of me. When I showed everything to my parents on what they expect him to know, they told me that they did not teach me anything like what is needed today. He also has peer pressure from his cousin, she is the only girl of four boys and she is just the pretty pretty princess that does nothing wrong,(is younger) and is smart. I dont think she is smarter than the rest, I just think that she is a parrot and mimics alot of what goes on around her. We just deal with it the best we can and we try not to have confrontations....Just love your kids the way they are and do what YOU think is best YOU are the mother now Not them. good luck..

I agree with you! I have to admit, I tried formally teaching my baby those stuff because of the pressure and it didn't work. Children really learn at their own pace. People seem to think that if the parents are smart then their kids should be geniuses. And if the child isn't doing something at so-and-so age, then something is wrong. I say, let kids be kids. They will be spending almost 20 years of their life studying academics in school so I would rather that they have fun before that time. I try to keep learning fun but without pressure. At this point in time, I'm more concerned with instilling values that will last them a lifetime.

That is really unfair that people are comoparing your child to you or to anyone! For years, everytime i told my father a story about one of my kids he would say who does that remind you of. I always told him the same thing It doesn't remind me of anyone..he(she) is just hmself. i slipped up with my granddaughter and said her mom(which was just off the cuff, reminded me of another daughter more) he said how about her grandmother. i can't believe he's been trying to say that for 25 years!

My children are both very clever so I have never really felt pressured. But, my youngest child didn't start walking until he was almost two and I did have quite a lot of people telling me I should get him checked out by a doctor or something. I didn't because I knew he just didn't want to walk yet. He could already speak perfectly well, count to 8, build bricks, and loads of other things he was supposedly not old enough to do. You shouldn't feel pressure to teach your kids more than they can cope with - or more than you can cope with! It is very hard work dealing with children who are so far advanced and it doesn't always work out in their favour. If your son is learning at a pace which is suitable for him then it doesn't matter what he is learning. There are no set rules, only guidelines. And those guidelines are based on an "average" child, ie. a child who tries a bit of everything. This can mean that if a child is well advanced in certain areas, they may fall further behind in others. This is what I was getting at with my son not walking. He was much more interested in talking and playing catch that he had no need to walk yet. If your son is doing the things you feel he should be doing then that's fine. He will only learn at his own pace anyway. Hes obviously found what interests him and that is where he will learn. Of course you should introduce other things to him but if he's not ready, it won't make any difference. You just do what you feel is right and, as long as you don't feel he is behind then don't take any notice of other people. Whatever they say about what they think he should be doing, just make a point of telling them how well he is doing in other areas.

My husband was quite intelligent at an early age.. reading by the time he was four, he was in all advanced classes in elementary school, finsished 2nd in the state of Florida on his ACT's, so my boys would have pretty big shoes to fill. But, I think it's silly and dangerous to compare children to their parents. Every child is different. I have found that many times, children will focus on one or the other, they will either focus on their development physically (running, jumping, leaping etc) or verbally, socially. My oldest didn't really even talk that much until he was 18 months, and even then it was very limited. I still remember the first time he said "Hi" He was about 16 months old. But he could jump on one foot before he was even 18 months old. He started walking at barely 9 months, and began running within a week or so, and really hasn't stopped since. Now that he's almost 3, he knows his alphabet, how to count up to 100 (that's as far as i've gone with him.. ) knows all his shapes (even octagon, cresent, etc.) Knows colors, and has begun to write his name. When he was younger and didn't show an interest in learning things like that, I didn't push it, I introduced things when I saw the opportunity, but he wasn't even interested yet, he just wanted to show me how he could jump off the couch.. (: NOw he reminds me.. Mommy, is it time for school time? We take 15 minutes a day to learn a new letter, number shape, color or word, idea. and then another 15 on a bible story. He absolutely loves it. His little brother however, took his first steps at 9 months, but has since decided he'd rather crawl. He said Hi for the first time at about 10 months, and knows many words already. He's very interested in talking, and figuring out how things work, and won't walk, run or jump for the life of him. It would be silly of me to try to get him to walk if he's not ready or willing, so we focus on what he's interested in, that way we don't end up frustrated. I think your best bet, is to follow your child's lead.. and not get caught up in the baby comparing game. Kids grow up so fast anyways, I'd hate to push them, and miss out on time that could be spent doing something they enjoy... there are plenty of things they are learning, even if you don't realize it. I'm sure your family means well, but it's not up to them to raise your child, that's your responsibilty and you must do what you think is right.. regardless if that's opting out of flashcards, and couting sessions, and deciding to look for frogs instead.

I've always believed that education for the little ones should always be a playful and enjoyable experience. So, pressuring a child to learn more than he/she can handle at a time is a "no-no" for me. How do I deal with people who want to push your children so hard? I look at them straight in the face, smile and say "Thank you for your advice, but I decide the pace of how my kids should learn" By the way, for an 18 month old baby, your kid has achieved a lot for his age. Congratulations!

I know that this was posted a long time ago, but even so, your son sounds very advanced for his age. All children are different. I could read short story books by the time I was almost five years old. And I read a novel about Cleopatra when I was six years old. I was reading Hardy Boy and Nancy Drew books at seven years old. As it's going, I don't know if my daughter will be up to reading novels anytime soon. She's a very smart little girl, but she is just a little girl. I keep reminding myself that it's OK for her not to do the things I did. We didn't have TV or Internet back then. So reading was the only thing we had for entertainment. We are focusing on what she can do and moving slowly. We're just lucky to have her, so I'm not complaining. I think her brain will have a growth spurt this upcoming year and she will do so many things like reading that we could only have hoped for. She's done so much better than we could have ever hoped for, considering all things. Sorry that your relatives are pressuring you. Your little boy sounds very bright and intelligent. I'm sure he will be a fast learner!

hello carlaabt. I felt the same kind of pressure too when my son was only a year old. It started when a friend's child who was only 2 months older than my son was already talking a lot. I think that what prompted me to always be on alert to teach my son everything that he has to know. But that was my mistake. Books about parenting always tell us parents that we should teach our kids as early as possible. Because the moment that they grow a lot older, it will be very hard for us parents and our children. It's like trying a hard, stubborn tree to bend. Your son is doing very, very well. And I'm sure you're so proud of him. ^_^ Just keep on whatever easy pace you are doing with your son. Don't mind what others are telling you. Because the moment you force your son to learn every little thing that you think he should learn, it will greatly backfire on both of you. I made that mistake with my son before so now that I've learned my lesson, I always make sure that whatever he's learning, he's enjoying it. Well, now that he's in primary school, it's a little more challenging. Like last night, I had to review him on some subjects that he'll be having a big test 2 days from now. He did a horrible screamfest!He screamed and cried for 15 minutes, I think. I didn't stop reviewing him though because I know and feel that he will eventually stop. And he did. We ended our review both laughing and making a high five.^_^

Hi, yes i agree with you that there are many people who are like this and mkae comparisons and want you to try and do the same things that they have done with their kids or are doing for them now too, but they do not understand that each child is different, with different mental levels and IQs, how can they be compared and how can they be the same too, such parents need to be explained that find the beauty in your child, no matter how he is. yes, you must keep trying to teach your child new things and keep working at that, but incase you do find that they are finding it tough to cope, like if hes not able to count beyond 10 as yet, then stop right there, there is no rush, hes a life ahead of him to learn all that, why push him now for it, and this kind of constant pushing etc, also has an adverse effect on the future of the child in his later years. Let them bloom fully in their own way.

Now a days education is playing a vital role in the society.Even autodrivers,servantmaid are making their children's as doctors/Engg.From their childhood onwards they started to teach alphabets and so on.I feel it is not correct way,becoz there are too young to understand.I wont keep on them.We should teach them in a nice way so that they have to learn in a playing manner of their style.I want to make my children not to be smart boy in front of others,but to know what is what only.God has given clever to each and every person,but are utilising it properly and some are not.So,my suggestion is bring up children in a such a way they should enjoy their studies and should not feel bored of it.In that way they do miracle which we even couldnot understand them sometimes.

your child is already consider VERY CLEVER! Hey no worries.. I wonder how you teach your son? Any advice?

I pretty much just believe in myself and my parenting. Others can tell me what they would do if they were in my position but it is important to rely on my intuition. Children will do things in their own time, we are all unique and can see this in ourselves and the adults around us so why should it be different for children? I mean mothers (and fathers) can tell if there is something not quite right with their children, mentally or physically so should get some medical advice on this, but otherwise go with the flow, enjoy your children. There are many people who judge themselves strictly in a negative way and end up very sad people inside, do not let them do this to your child. Teach your child instead how to love themselves and accept themselves.