age gap?does it matter?
By mae1216
@mae1216 (658)
Philippines
August 15, 2007 2:45am CST
I have a boyfriend for 1.6 yrs and now I have move in other country.He promised me that he will follow me here yet he regret all the opportunities that will bring him up to me. I was so disappointed with his discission as well as his future plans. I have been here for 3 weeks. Yet, me and my boyfriend seldom talk on the phone and that depends on me if I will call him up or if I don't he will not call me instead send me a message. I am very disappointed to him!
Now, I have met a guy who used to live with my father in the house who is 11 years older than me. He seems to be very nice and he give me time even he is tired at work. When my father and I moved to other house we became more closer like we texted each other all the time.Then, I was able to find a job in the hospital where this guy is also working. We become more closer and we talk to the phone all the time we are not both busy. Giving you more background about this guy, he has a girlfriend for 6 years and now they are having misunderstanding right now which makes him thinks to find other partners. I don't know but I think we are in a stage of getting to know each other or I don't know. I know it bothers him a lot that I am younger than him, well, I also do but it is not hard to fall to this guy. My worry now, is what if I fall for him and I left my boyfriend at my homecountry and he also has this long time girlfriend. To be honest, I am really interested at him because he gave me time, he even spoiled me which is really what I want about him because I know when he do that he cares for me. What is the best thing to do? Do you think if I will continue having an affair with it will works?
4 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 Aug 07
The thing is not the age difference .( My dad was that much older than my mom and they had a great marriage)
The most thing is your boyfriend is not paying attention to you (only 3 weeks you have moved?)and you seem to be looking.
So this tells me you dont love your boyfriend! For if you did you wouldnt be looking at this feller in a more interesting matter of you 2 getting together.
And him he is fickle has a girl friend of 6 years and now that you are talking he isnt happy with her?
Oh he might do and say all the right things but that is really just to get to you and if he just dont want his girlfriend of 6 years they should work it out and you stay out of the picture for awhile they might work it out.
As for your boy friend I would ask him point blank that now you are gone and he isnt talking to you much has he moved on?
THis might sound a bit harsh but thats the facts that I have seen in the past.
For as to your new friend you might just be good friends where nothing romantic would ever work between you.
I would study on this very very hard for you and rhis feller might be breaking him and girlfriend up for no need.
Good luck
2 people like this
@zaichn (319)
• Philippines
15 Aug 07
Hi.. You're from the Philippines and you're boyfriend is in here, right? Well, I think that you haven't realized that it is hard for him that you have to leave him so that you can move in to another country. I don't mean to hurt you or start anything, but I guess both of you are disappointed.
You - Disappointed because he is not showing any effort to communicate with you even through messenger, etc. And considering that sending a sms message to abroad is costly in the Philippines.
your bf - Disappointed because you left him. It's hard to communicate with you since you are away, miles away.
Regarding that new guy friend of yours, hmm.. Maybe you just need someone to be there for you.. listen to you when you need someone to talk to.. And because you work in the same hospital, it is definitely possible that you two can feel some kind of spark for each other because of your closeness. But you have to consider that both of you are in a relationship.. and your guy friend is in a long time relationship too.
I think the best thing to do is to be patient. Don't rush things. Maybe that guy friend of yours will reconcile with his long-time girlfriend.. or maybe you're communication with your bf will become more constant. Time will tell what will happen. But just be patient. :)
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
15 Aug 07
It's easy to say "follow your heart" but in this case it's quite messy because both of you are involved in your own relationships. It's not the age gap. It's a question of who you love.
Regarding the phone calls, it's not realistic to expect your boyfriend to call you on the phone frequently. That's very expensive, unless if he is the owner of PLDT or something. Perhaps email or instant messenger would be more realistic. If he's not interested even in that, then maybe it's time to leave him.
Anyway, it seems both you and your new friend are cheating. Both of you need to choose just one person to love, and then stand by that decision. It's not fair for you to be involved with someone and pursuing someone else at the same time. You can only be faithful if you truly love your partner.
@aowaow (1516)
• Indonesia
16 Aug 07
Q: what is the best thing to do?
A: just get along. if you think this is the best way. do it. never regret for your decision and be ready to face any consequences it will come.
Q: do you think if i will continue having an affair with it will works?
A: nobody knows. don't doubt the way you'd chosen. never cage your decision-making inside of pessimist's jail. Enjoy your life.
Why?
The reason of Love is "No Reason for Love"
Love is unpredictable, no one can assure you with him/her in later life. Just adapt to its wave. follow the wave.
