Why do people need to hate?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
August 16, 2007 12:42am CST
There are pros and cons to the worldwide web in my view..and one of the drawbacks is the increasing ability of the hate-mongers to find channels to spew their animosity towards others in wider forums. People hate Geroge Bush...they hate Bill O'Reily, they hate people of different races, religions, colors and creeds. They hate gays and what entertainers, fashion icons and musicians say and do. Then closer to home they may say they hate when I spouse or family member does this or that. They claim to hate co-workers, bosses and just about anyone they care to spew it too. There is so much hatred and I cannot help but wonder why.
The curiosity of it all for me is that so much of the hatred is projected towards people that are not well connected to...and often do not even know. Yet there is a massive amount of negative energy tied up in making sure people far and wide know of their hatred.
Bigots and racists go to great lengths to promote it and try to brain-wash people into hating others as much as they do. And what purpose does it serve for them? What do you think they get out of it? Because they must be getting something out of it...or they would stop doing it. From my years as a life coach and group leader I know one thing for sure on this topic it is that it is impossible for someone who has only love within them to show hatred.
Every great spiritual leader promotes love rather than hate...and that is why they are so revered. The enlightened person is sure enough of their own divinesss that they do not judge themselves in any negative fashion because of the actions of others. They are able to love and forgive in the most haneous of circumstances...and hatred is not part of their innate essence.
Having said that I wondered what views you might be willing to share on why people need to hate...especially those they do not know personally. In my experiences with people we often awaken in others the same attitude we hold towards them. It is a rather frightening thing to guage where that will lead with so many people focusing on hate instead of love.
Looking foward to hearing what you have to say if you choose to share...your perspectives.
6 people like this
11 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I dont know why they hate just something that has been put to them since birth I guess.As I amrried a feller from the south I hadnt thought to much about the civil war for it was al over and done with almost 100 years before I went to the south.When I got there I found old people and alot of younguns were still fighting it. Oh at the stuff they would say and they sure didnt like any one from the north . they were still carpet baggers and all not a one of them liked a Yankee.
As I am from out west I would just tell them I was a mountain gal. lol
To old people I was a foreigner. Had One person I worked with out there asked was Utah across the big waters lol
To me it takes to much energy to hate! If I dont like a person I just have nothing to do with them.
OK how come a lot of preachers shout about fire and brimstones isnt that a sort of hate going on there to me it seems as if they want to scare their people into beleiving in the bible but they generate hate from all the fire and brimstone they preach and I always thought God was love the two dont mix well to me.
I just smile all the time and no one knows what I think lol
ya know me.
hugs and blessings
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
What an interesting life you've lead...and continue to lead dear friend. When I told my hubby how close you were to Moab he laughingly said..."Hey, when are we going to take a trip to Moab and arrange to meet Lakota?" Well, who knows maybe sometime we will.
Anyway hearing about the barriers you bumped into when you got married is a great addition to the topic. It shows how much bias there is within our own countries. 'Worlds within worlds' is the term my Sweetie uses.
Your observatiions about preachers who spout hate is an excellent point. No wonder people become brain-washed into hating others when they hear it from a supposed authority figure on the pulpit. I agree with you the God I believe I am connected to is One of Love...and that is where I put my focus too.
And yes...to know you is to love you too! Glad to know you keep shining your bright light in your corner of the Universe...and now mine too!LOl
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
17 Aug 07
Okay...well as I say goodnight..I also say God bless. We will be chatting tomorrow and I will check our your posts as well. This topics have kept me busy all day...and it takes more time to add photos...but it makes it interesting. Thanks again for adding comments to the pics...it makes the effort worthwile. You might want to check out picures of our two dogs on the flip/flop discusson. You will probably get a kick out our 15 year old Lab/Shepherd smelling a flower in the garden. It is cute if I do say so myself.
Anyway bigs hugs to you too!
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
17 Aug 07
I agree that hate is negative and people who are just out to make people feel bad, or brainwash those into thinking the same way as them, do it because they are insecure and need to feel good about themselves, just the same as a bully.
However, I do believe that some people have hate because of their convictions and the injustices they see in the world. I don't believe in violence and slanging matches, but I have been in positions where I have hated someone for what they have done against innocent people. This may not be the most productive way but sometimes I just can't help it and my passion takes over and I end up angry and hateful.
I have alot of love in my heart and would never hurt anyone, I have always believed in justice, but when I look at what is happening in this world I cannot feel love all the time. I do try and put my hate to positive use and I will protest, write letters and refuse to buy products that exploit people. This is all I can do and this is what I do hate the most..the majority of us are powerless in this money motivated world.
For example, I voted in Tony Blair in 1997 and what he promised and what he delivered were two different things. I protested against us going to war and he took no notice of the majority of his MP's and the general public and went straight ahead into an unjust war. Till my days are over I will hate this man along with all those involved including Bush and his cronies. What they have now done is put fear into the hearts of so many and caused people to hate each other on the grounds of their religion.
Sometimes I say to myself.."Stop the world I want to get off"
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Aug 07
All the points you have raised are significant..and very telling. It is very disheartening to see how hatred and opposing views are creating increasing polarity throughout the world. From what you post I can feel that you do have a lot of love in your heart and would never hurt anyone. Having that in combination with an ability to stand up for what you believe and back it up with solid action is admirable.
Your observations about the corruption within most political arenas is troubling because the way they are creating greater powder kegs of intensity rather than striving for unity.
My hubby and I have felt as you do at times about stopping the world and getting off. But here we are..and for whatever reason all any of us can do it try to create some love and light in whatever way we can and live in hope that it actually is making a difference. Life would seem pretty hopeless without an ability to see and celebrate those who are doing their best to resonate with higher energies.
Hope you keep on beaming where you are...and adding your great insights to perspectives topics.
1 person likes this
@pendragon (3349)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I used to be a dog officer.I was in a parking lot at a video store, when i noticed two little dogs left tied to a phone pole while the owner was inside picking out movies.I also noted that the leash they were tied with was slipping free, so i waited to see if she would make it back outside and go off with them or if I would need to retrive them and secure them again.Well a man came out of a nearby grocery with a little boy.The mans arms were full and he was nohere in control of the little fellow who immediately began to taunt the dogs, which pulled harder at the leash and freed themselves.The boy didnt get bit but was scared to tears,I rushed over and got a hold of the leash and the woman rushed from the video store to retrive the dogs.Everyone involved immediately hated ecahother, and i think in this case it was the fear of guilt,both parties had left smaller creatures that they were responsible for nearly get hurt.Then other people kept pulling up, seeing and hearing what was going on, simply began having opinion on what must have happened but stating thir views as if they had really been right there!!I was infuriated at the people who were lauding their baggage into this sitauation that they were not a part of.I think the hate in that instance was seeing a power issue going on and not having been included...this angle is more bizarre.But the need for attention is a horrible blank placebo.I told everyone that I was the dog officer, had everyone apologize and realize there was no harm no foul, and everyone should go on their ways.I have heard that love is many-headed and that hate is cold and final....I'm not sio sure!!
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
17 Aug 07
Hi again, thanks for including a great illustration of how anger is just one letter short of danger. It also reveals how polorizing anger and hate can be...and how one person can become a peacemaker a quell the intensity. You are definitely on to something when you address the element of power struggles within hateful conduct.
I have never heard the "love is many-headed...and hate is cold and final" before..but it does give one reason pause and consider it. When you think about love being...many headed...it certainly does have more outer expressions than hate. It reveals itself in respect, openness, trust, compassion, honor, integrity to name a few. Hate...well it can be cold and final...so maybe it isn't so bizzare after all. I think it is very representative of what we are evaluating within this topic.
You have provided some very graphic and real life examples here...and your additions to the conversation have provided some great perspectives. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I think "hate" is used loosely by a lot of people these days. On your examples of George W, Bush and Bill O'Reiily, they are not exactly the nicest people themselves. In my opinion, people like that project a negative image on society. I choose not to listen to them or vote for someone who I do not feel is doing a good job. Rather than focusing on "hate," I focus on the good that is out there. I do not like a lot of things and there are people I do not like, but hate is a strong term.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
Yes it is...and with it being used so loosely...and in ever increasing forums I cannot help but wonder if is like other things that are over-exposed...we become desensitized to the impact it is having.
I agree that the hate word in many cases is just a venting outlet...and more of a dislike or disapproval than actual hatred. However, there are many representations of deeper, manovolant aspects of this immensely destructive emotion. Without some form of govenors that start with awreness it will allowed to become more rampid.
"Teach only love" is not something we hear much of anymore. So whether it is the milder forms of dislike, disapproval, comparison, judgement...all these negative responses polorarize. In our troubled world I am seeking more unity...because witin unity and acceptance there is also peace.
2 people like this
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
16 Aug 07
People don't NEED to hate. In fact, life is better when they don't. But hating is a choice,just like everything else in life.
We have to be taught to hate. The more of it in our environment the more we learn it, absorb it, reflect it.
I've always looked at hate as a response to fear, just as anger is a response to hurt or fear. The "hater" fears something about the one being hated. They are big, stronger, more powerful, smarter, perceived by the hater to be better than the hater. This creates anxiety and/or anger that then fuels the hateful thoughts and feelings.
If we can depersonalize the hated person's qualities we disempower our hate. Whatever it is about them that you hate really isn't about you and it is your perceptions that create the anxiety and/or anger. When we start looking for the parts of others that we can love we can be much healthier mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I'm not saying it is easy to change. But is possible if we work at it. And it is important for us to work at it to create peace in our world. Hatred and intolerance of differences keep us at war with each other. It is time we learned peace.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
It is never surprising anymore when your views are a reflection of mine. I'd love to be able to sit and chat with you about so many of the topics we have only touched on here.
The word need was purposely placed to have people consider whether it really is a NEED...OR A CHOICE. My views echo yours...when all is said and done...it is still a choice. I agree that it is a choice that has been shaped by their conditioning...but when people begin to 'awaken' to higer potentials within themselves they can hopefully see things differently and decide to change.
I agree with you about the comparision part of what percipitates the feelings of anger and hatred. Often the kids become the people their parents warned THEM about...conditioning tends to do that. Your comment about; "starting to look for the parts of others that we can love we can be much healthier mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually" is so very true.
In my work I have noticed that many who think something outside of themselves is the cause of their problems they look outside of themselves for the answers. Within our company the approach is just the opposite. We promote the idea that everything anyone will ever need to know originates from within their own spiritual nature. The challenge is to become still enough to hear the answers.
Good contribution to the disucssuion again...I so value you who you are and how you see things.
2 people like this
@marje_09 (63)
• Philippines
16 Aug 07
It is already a custom of every indiovidividual to react on the things they don't like. Like your mother cooked fr your favorite dish but your sister/brother love it and he/she consumed everything that forgot to leave a slice for you. So what do you could be your reactions or someones reaction for that. Another thing, if somone you trust, you are not expecting that he/she will be a traitor tto you, he/she deceived you..........what could be your reactions? Now your questions ...........why do people hate? Simply showing their reactions about things they can't accpet. That is against their will. It is the reaction of our feelings. It is the stimulant from our deepest feelings. How could you explain the happiest moment of a person?
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
Good perspective...thanks for dropping by and welcome to Mylot too!
I see where you are coming from and your observations about what often seems like 'primal' reactions is a great explantion. However within that we all have the ability to choose...and sooner or later it is incumbent upon us to consider the chain reaction of both hate and love. That choice to forget past track records and start anew is there at any moment. And to me, that is the great gift of life.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
4 Sep 07
Hate is nothing but rationalization. People "hate" because it is the easy way out. If people wanted to get along with people who are "different," or if they really wanted to get to know the unknown, they would have to actually TRY, whereas when people "hate" someone, they can just stay stuck in the same stupid rut they've always been in.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
4 Sep 07
Yeah danishcanadian!!! I absolutely love your closing comment because it so mirrors the way my hubby and I see things. Your comment summerized things and hits right at the core of the proble..."the would have to actually TRY..whereas when people 'hat' someone...they can just STAY STUCK in the same stupid run they've always been in. So true!
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
16 Aug 07
Hate is a very strong word and a very strong emotion. When we hate something or someone... it is usually because we have a very strong rate of disaproval for the subject. We start by disliking someone for its opinion... and as it keeps pushing its opinion in our face... we start hating it.
However... I think you confuse "disliking" with "hate"... because hate is such a strong emotion that it warns you out. We only hate some people as a last resort when we don't want to have anything to do with them.
We might say that "we hate that car" but we use the word loosely. People who hate George Bush don't actually lose any sleep over it. If they hated him as much as they claim... he would not have won the last election.
When a six year old kid tells another six year old kid "I hate you!"... you know that they don't really mean it. It is just a way to express their anger. Many adults do the same thing than the six year old kid. So you could say that most of the time the word "hate" is used, it is to express someone anger... much in the same way than the "F" word is used.
I think the difference here is not about people who love and people who hate. It is about how people express their feelings.
You have the quiet person who do not like to enter into debates and arguments and pretty much keep to itself without putting its nose into other people business. This would be the "loving person" you are referring to.
Then you have the guy like me... who has an opinion on everything and is not scare to put it on the table for everyone to see. I don't waste my energy on hate... but I do dislike a lot of things in this world... mostly because most things are a contradiction in terms which rise from hypocrisy and selfishness.
As for those people who constantly use the word "hate" on forums. It is not really hate. They simply have a huge amount of anger which need to be released in order to keep their sanity. People have some very strong views on certain subjects... and when they are confronted with someone who has opposite views on that subject... sparks start flying.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
OMG! Another OOPPS...I did it again...my penchant for doing double posts is getting embarassing...sorry!
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
16 Aug 07
When it comes to politic... I think we live by example. We see our politicians slugging each other on television and in the newspaper. So we guess that it must be alright to act the same when discussing politic.
The hatred towards gays is still very strong in many places across North America...
I guess we are way ahead on you in Australia. Hate for gays is almost non-existant in Australia. Sure they might still be the odd bully without a brain here and there. But in general... gays people have been accepted. But of course... they always keep asking for more. And if they get it... that general acceptance could revert back into anger.
Yes... terrorism is about blind hate. Again... we are talking about people with no brain.
Prophets and religious leaders are in a class of their own. When talking about loving people... I was talking about normal people.
As for religious leaders... I have seen a few from Islam that don't exactly fit the picture of loving people.
All that said... I cannot think of much hate in Australia. Sure... we dislike some things... and sometimes we get angry... but not to the point of hating.
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
16 Aug 07
You know... in many cases... those two words, hate and racism... are the first words which pop up in the head of victims because they have a very low level of tolerance to criticism.
I see people talking about racism everywhere today... when in fact racism is nothing today compared to what it used to be 50 years ago.
People simply like to use strong words to make their point. Saying "I don't like George Bush very much" will simply not put your point across.
3 people like this
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
19 Aug 07
I believe that we are taught to hate, to be intolerant of people who are not like us.
My parents always told us we should not use the word hate. I'm sure there were people they disliked quite a bit, but they never showed it. As a result, I've gotten along with people all my life. I've never been in a fight, unlike many of my school mates. Some would get in fights right out on main street in the little town where I went to High School. But their parents taught them differently.
If I had grown up in a country where terrorists live and train, I'm sure my attitude would be much different. I would be taught to hate, destroy, and kill. I would think that is what I'm supposed to do.
Therefore, I think the attitudes we teach our children are very important. There may be circumstances that happen to them later in life which will color their attitudes toward other people. But the basic foundation we teach them will still be there. If we teach them a "love focus," that will be their basic outlook. If we teach them to hate, they will surely hate.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Aug 07
The points you raise about people being conditioned to hate is a hard but true reality. People do what they know...if they have been taught that hating is acceptable...then they will keep the cycle going.
I like your term 'love focus'...it says it all because as humans we move towards what we picture in our mind. Sometimes I think my belief that with enough love we could resolve all our human rights issues sounds a little niave in today's world. However, just meeting so many caring, compassionate members on this site alone leads me to believe there is still a lot of hope for humanity. As long as there are those working for the greater good it will hopefully balance the polarizing negativity of hate...at least I choose to think so.
1 person likes this
@goddessglamourpuss (261)
•
16 Aug 07
Unfortunately hate will always exist in one form or another because it is the exact opposite of love and everything is based on balance. I think the best we can hope for is trying to tip the balance more towards love but there will always be those that feel the need to hate - usually through envy, impotence or misguided judgement. I think it also comes down a lot to the choices we make in life and how we choose to deal with the consequences. It is often easier to feel upset and hateful towards people and things when we do not like what is happening around us for as you state it takes an enlightened soul to feel only love.
Regarding why people feel the need to spread hate through the web, because there is no bigger or better way to connect to a large and diverse audience on a global scale. Whilst I think it is healthy to vent frustration rather than bottle up emotions, I do think it is a terribly counter-productive exercise to moan over the internet or use it to spread hateful views.
There will always be people who will vent their opinions about people they don't like - especially politicians and their policies - but to spew venom about people known only to them is probably just a by-product of their daily activity of moaning to anyone who will listen.
I guess people choose to focus on hate rather than love because in many ways it is easier to do. To truly love and accept someone else who's views or lifestyle differs from your own means accepting that they have the right to be this way. Sadly many do not feel we have such rights.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
16 Aug 07
Before beginning...I noticed you hit the 100 mark...good for you. As I mentioned before your well throught out responses are a great addition to any topic...and you have done it again with this one.
Your perspective on choices and consequences is aligned to my world view as well. Playing the 'blame game' rather than being willing to stop and consider cause and effect is a track many take. However, in my spiritual beliefs moving towards the capacity to speak and show only love, honor and respect for each other in the face of our differences is one of the main pathways to enlightened living.
I also agree that it is healthy to vent out the negativity, pain, suffering, shock, dismay...anger...better out than in for sure! However, it in the way that it is done that makes the difference to purging for ourselves versus causing harm to others. And yes, it is a challenge for all of us to remember that free choice is something we all have...and maybe it was given as a means of teaching us tolerance, patience, compassion...and many of the higher soul qualties we are striving to achieve.
Great input...thank you again my new friend!
2 people like this
@insanity01 (48)
• Canada
3 Sep 07
I believe humans feel the need to seperate themselves from others whether it's by hating, belittling, being an elitest, etc. Doing so gives them a sense of security. But I also believe everyone has a good reason to hate. It may not be all the time but I'd give them that much credit.
For myself, I don't really hate anyone but my father. I've forgiven him countless times only to have it blow up in my face again soon after. So after being thrown around like a rag doll emotionally, I decided to keep the hate and hold the grudge. This actually allows me to shut him out of my life completely and I find that it works a lot better than trying to forgive him. And after moving out of his house and not speaking with him for the past 2 months, I feel a lot more stable.
It would be nice if everyone could love each other and live in peace but sadly, I don't believe it will ever happen.
2 people like this
@insanity01 (48)
• Canada
4 Sep 07
I appreciate your kind words. I also do enjoy reading your responses. I am still fairly new and I have yet to meet more people but I just want you to know that you are making my experience on myLot very enjoyable. After reading your discussion about Yuwie, I'm sad that I didn't start posting on myLot sooner when there were apparently more people who posted well thought of discussions instead of trying to make that quick buck.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
4 Sep 07
You are welcome...I communicate ideas with people and have been trained to pick up on developing a sense of who they are. So my words to you come from my heart...and they are my genuine observations of how you are presenting yourself to me...and I thank you for your willingness to be open.
Becoming involved with Mylot has been a totally amazing and very soul-satisfying experience for me...and I have not desire to go to any other discussion forum. I am setting a blog to let people know of my other writing venues...but in terms of joining other forums...I am totally content to stay here..chat with friends develop satisfying on-line relationships by sharing the ups and downs of life. You will find that here...and a lot more. I am glad you somehow found your way to Perspectives...it could just be the like attracts like principle in action again!
Glad you are enjoying yourself!
Warm regards,
Raia
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