Do you ever struggle to be a good aunt?
By toe_ster
@toe_ster (770)
United States
August 17, 2007 12:33pm CST
I have four sisters so between us all we have 13 kids. I was lucky to become an aunt at the age of 13. I was a ready made babysitter. But I loved being an aunt. I spoiled my nieces rotten and genuinely loved spending time with them. I was a good aunt. AS years got on, I had my own kids and felt the aunt role being slowly replaced. I don't ever recall being as close to my aunts and uncles as a kid or even now, like I am with my nieces and nephews. BUt lately I feel a big change with some of them. The ones we live closest to. I see them as manipulators, and conniving sneaky kids and bad influences on my kids. The ones I don't live close to I feel we have the same relationship. When did the switch happen? I feel I now struggle to invite them over for spending the night or taking them or even spoiling them. I sort of keep my distance. Has this happened to anyone? Or any ideas how or why this could have happened?
2 people like this
7 responses
@misshoney (973)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
hi toe_ster :-)i am the youngest in the family so i am thrilled with the idea of having little children in the house. like most aunts like you , i am a spoiler...i would like yo give them almost anything they want. anyway..i guess in your case you can probably just talk to your sisters . i don't think the aunts mean any harm. ;-). they justlove you and your kids
1 person likes this
@ranitam22 (1146)
• United States
18 Aug 07
i have only one nephew and we grew up very close because I baby sat him a lot when he was younger. About 3 years ago, my sister moved her and my nephew to another state. Now I only see him one week out of the summer unless I get money to go visit which is rare. I find it hard to think of things to talk on the phone with him about except the usual how are school, basketball practice, friends, and things of that nature but it just seems like somethings missing.
1 person likes this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
17 Aug 07
i consider myself a good aunt and sometimes to good of an aunt ive made my neice dependent on receiving gifts from me just because everytime we see on another. i am always willing to take my niece over for the night, on family trips with me etc but lately theres been a struggle she isnt the sweet loving appreciating little girl she use to be she wont show me any affection (unless i have a present for her) she is rude and disrespectful to me and very mouthy despite all this i still try to keep doing all i have always done but im finding it harder and harder . i love her like my own so it tends to hurt at times
1 person likes this
@pretty_babe (704)
• New Zealand
28 May 08
Hi there toe_ster.
I am aunt to 3 full younger kids and 2 step younger kids and sometimes yes I have to agree it can be hard to be an aunt but at least I don't always have the hard job of being any kind of parent to them. I find it hardest when they are sick and they don't really want anyone else but Me. I only have got 1 of the that gets like that but that's still hard and at these times I sadly feel like I am their Mother, Mum is not an ignorant Mum it's just that My Niece just wants me especially when she is sick.
Catch ya later.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
23 Aug 07
Hi toe_ster! I am married but my hubby and I were not blessed to have children and we have however, became weekend parents to our nieces and nephew. I somehow struggle with how to be a good aunt because somehow, I never wanted them to be really spoiled and won't in any way compete or contradict the discipline their parents are instilling in them. Take care and have a nice day!
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
28 Aug 07
I love my 2 nephews almost as much as I love my son. the first one was born when I was 14 and sometimes it feels like we are friends more than relatives. he can tell me anything (I wont tell his mother) and they are generally good kids. They adore my son and he worhsips them. I think there comes a point in our life when prioritis change so before you had only them to think off but now with your own kids that changed. we have our own standards in our lifes and we make sure our kids follow our rules. But with someone elses kids its little things that tick you off and sub conciusly we reject them but dont realise the little changes in our feelings until you go back and say to our selfs well hang on I used to have them over every friday now I cant stand tham over 1 a month.
@pamcake (276)
• United States
19 Aug 07
Hi! I also have lots of nieces and nephews...I try to stay close with all of them but the oldest is 4 years old so I haven't experienced what you are going through.
I found that when I had my first child I didn't look at other kids the way I once did. I too didn't want my kids to be around some of them as they weren't acting as I had once saw them. I think my views of the other kids changed once I had kids.
There was a jelousy issue with one of my nieces when I had my son. It could also be that the kids have grown up a little and aren't being so sweet and innocent anymore!
