What do you fear...and why?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
August 18, 2007 1:11am CST
After overcoming two eating disorders and a myraid of family, personal and professional challenges I realized that much of what I used to fear never happened. That epiphany started me down a path of personal discovery and spiritual questing that allowed me to overcome fear.
Now I must admit that it took awhile...and my biggest fear used to be that the damage I did to my body through the eating disorders would come back in the form of catastrophic illness of some kind. Then as I incorporated some Buddhist teachings into my personal growth I realized that fear is mind-set that could be changed. Now I know that whenever I think something outside myself is the cause of my problems...that it really isn't. It is only something that I may believe is the problem...but usually it is only an outer symptom of something I need to look within to resolve. The other great lesson that came from a variety of spiritual teachings is that most of our suffering is caused by out attachments...to things, people, outcomes, fears about the future..fear that the past will catch up to us.
So having said all that I can honestly say that there is little that I fear. With my spirituality as an anchor I do not fear death..but look at it as a reward and a move to another dimension. I do not fear terrorism, or any of the world-shattering events that 'could or might' occur. Yes, they might...but they might not in my lifetime either.
I have made a choice not to allow fear to govern my thinking...once I made that choice it is much easier to live in the present moment and let life be what it will be. My experiences have been rather paradoxical...when I gave up the need for security..I felt more secure. In my view we constantly move towards what we invision in our minds...so living in fear is not something I choose to move towards.
How about you...are you willing to share what you fear and why? I know it is not easy to confront. I lived in fear's grasp for years...but thankfully those ties no longer bind...and talking about it can help. So...care to share?
6 people like this
8 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
20 Aug 07
think I had one fear years ago and that was 1st husband would hunt me down and try to turn 2nd hubby against me. Then I met face to face with him one time where I worked and he was notihng after that I had no fear of him again and never looked back!
Now I dont even know why I feared him for he couldnt do anything to me anymore than he already had.
So I moved on and learned to live the way I wanted to.
My mom says I have something about me but she isnt sure I dont go to churh but I do beleive in alot of things and not somethings.
I am glad you got out of your fear and have moved on to better things for yourself.
What is it nothing to fear but fear its self.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
Your comments on this discussion remind me once again of my deep respect and admiration for who you are and how you think. Your observations about worrying and fearing something that did not happen is a great exsample of how we attach ourselves to a mindset and allow ourselves to run with it. So good to hear that you were able to transform that pattern...it appears to be serving you well during this period of uncertainty around your tests.
You are so right about5 the only thing we have to fear...is in our beliefs about it. Excellent perspective again...thank you dear friend. Wishing you all the good you so deserve!
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
23 Aug 07
thanks again fo rmaking feel like I am the only one on here answering you but IU noticed alot write real long responces and I just cant do that I write what I feel and you know that.
I feel llike I have nothing to fear now with what I am going to go thru tomorrow except that damn needle lol. I dont like needles but thats what I will have to put up with so This has been along day fot I want it over with .
I am so glad you got over yor fear and have moved on to a higher plane.
I just know every thing will work out in the end like is surpose too hugs and blessings !
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
Ahhhh..sorry to hear that. Darkness is such a natural part of life and absolutely unavoidable. It must be hard to live with that kind of fear. Hope you have a big teddy bear or special someone to hug you and help you feel safe through your darkest hours.
Thanks for being so open and willing to share.
@rouwel23 (1353)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
well I have pillows at work in Isabel, and my wife here in cebu, I used to really fear the dark that I used to sleep with the lights on,
I could remember when I was a child that I would really hug my mother everytime I sleep due to perhaps monsters are just lying in the corner
@pendragon (3349)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I think I fear what my brain comes up with more than anything that's really out there.My imagination can do my courage good and bad turns,lol...either I'm much too prepared for a situatiion or I don't even want to face what I have dreamed up about what might happen. i have to find a sweet balance somewhere!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
20 Aug 07
One of the things that is said in those "Attacking Anxiety" tapes I have to help me overcome my panic disorder is that much of what we fear or worry about never does happen...it's all like an anticipatory anxiety...mostly fear of the future and what MIGHT happen rather than the reality...in other words many of us are just plain worry warts! LOL
I think I have to agree with craftcatcher though. There are SO many things I want to do and accomplish in life that I just hope I live long enough to do all that I've set out to do and accomplish...All those goals and ambitions that for many years were put on hold due to detours in my life
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
Your awareness and proactive approach to transforming your fears is admirable. It takes real courage to do what you are doing and I see your spiritual warrior self breaking through many of the chains that bound you in the past.
With your positive attitude and specific plans of action I am sure you will attract the life you want...and you sure deserve it. You go girl!!!!
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
19 Aug 07
My biggest fear is health issues. I recently applied for new health insurance. When we got the application approved, they said they had to charge me 50% more because of my high blood pressure readings. I've never had problems with high blood pressure. When they came out to do the physical, they claimed my blood pressure was high at 120/90. Well, the nurse laid out all her needles and blood tubes before taking my blood pressure. Whose pressure wouldn't be high at that point? Anyway, that is what they based the higher fee on, that one reading. I went to my doctor's office and checked my past readings. All were very good. So I went back and got another blood pressure reading at my doctor's office and it was fine. I am sending that reading on my doctor's stationery to appeal the higher rate.
However, in the meantime, I began imagining all sorts of things were wrong with me. Kidney problems can cause high blood pressure. So I began to think that the slight pain in my side, which I thought was just a little strain from tennis, was now a kidney problem. The headaches I had the day before were brain tumors. I suddenly noticed a funny sound in my left ear, like pop corn popping. (Must be the tumor causing pressure). And I would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart beating louder than usual (I thought.) You get the picture. In the meantime, I've turned into a blazing hypochondriac. lol.
I have been healthy all my life. We haven't cost our health insurance companies anything except physicals for decades. Now they are telling me they have to charge me 50% more because I am a health risk. It sacred me, and I am offended. Hopefully we will win the appeal, and then all will be well. I've calmed down since my last blood pressure reading. I think I'm back to good health.
This maybe isn't a life-long fear, but it is the most immediate for me.
1 person likes this
@goddessglamourpuss (261)
•
18 Aug 07
Firstly may I say that I admire what you say in this post and sharing how you came to overcome some very difficult things. I agree with much of what you say and fear is probably the biggest thing that stops us as individuals from reaching our full potential.
I must admit that I was afraid of quite a few things - mostly quite trivial in the grand scheme of things and as I have grown a little older I am finding it easier to put my fears aside and reach a deeper feeling of peace and security.
I think when my first child was born there were so many terrible things happening in the world that I feared I had made a huge mistake in bringing her into such an imperfect world. Having said that though, it instilled in me a vow to show her (and my subsequent children) that there is so much NOT to fear in the world.
I think my biggest fear is in dealing with the deaths of close family members, especially my Mum. However, I find that rather than dwelling on the sadness involved in this inevitable event, I find myself contemplating how to deal with the situation and making sure I spend quality time with her so that I will have a wealth of memories.
I guess my biggest fear is of myself as I have come to accept that many things that I could be afraid of I have little or no control over. It is things in which I require self-belief and confidence that I begin to doubt myself and fear failure which is a terribly negative downward spiral. Something I think I shall need to work on.
Thankyou for another stimulating discussion. :)
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
I value your heartfelt acnowledgment about sharing my experiences and the discussion topic. We have a great group of regulars here and I welcome the forums that you and others contribute to. As I read them I am touched, inspired, saddened, uplifted...because there are so many stories and hearning them reminds me of our humanity.
Your views about your children and what type of life they may lead in our troubled world is a valid concern. It sounds as though you are doing a good job of helping them develop and inner compass rather than allowing them to be shaped by society's dogma. No small feat with the amount of information young people are exposed to.
Self-doubt can be crippling and the fact that you are aware of it shows you already have power of it. None of us are ever without fear all the time...but we can re-frame our thoughts at any moment and move awareness to a place of hope and belief. I know from personal experience it is a much happier place to be.
Wishing you and your family the best life has to offer.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
18 Aug 07
My biggest fears.. to not finish what I want to accomplish before I die, to not be able to take care of a family member in need, to not live long enough to say "I love you" for the millionth time, to not understand all I want to understand.
That's about it.. but that's enough :D
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
21 Aug 07
Not having the time to accomplish your soul goals and other things is a concern for sure. Your comments about the "I love yous" is another thing I relate to. My hubby and I always make sure we say that when departing for any reason. We do not have kids but it would be the same for them. Even with friends it is important to me that they know how much I appreciate them. So good points...thanks.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
I am sorry to hear about the daunting and sad situation you and your young cousin are facing and can understand why it creates fear. I watched some of my love ones die of cancer and it was hard enough even though they were older. Hearing of one so young going through it is hard to imagine. May you and your loved ones be given the strength you need to move through this and my thoughts and wishes for blessings are being sent your way.
