What do you suggest to do to reduce SHYNESS of child ?
By akumei1269
@akumei1269 (1749)
India
August 18, 2007 11:52am CST
My child is 4 years & 11 months old .A student in Montessori Method school in lower KG(Kinder Garten) . He is good at shool work too shy . Never report anything to his teacher , never initiate a talk with co-students and is afraid of even "DISTURBING" his teacher by requesting for permission to go to toilet .
However , he is not shy at home and with our friends (i mean elder people ) he talks normally and takes interest in matters of elder people . He asks me question after questions regarding various matters like animals , electrical goods , vehicles etc.
But the main concern on my part is his lack of speed in writing , drawing , reading , eating . Another worry is his lack of urge to complete tasks .
Today , there was a parents-teachers meet at school where the report on the students performance is handed over to parents and anything from parents are heard by teachers . My child's report was very good . But the same complaint :your child is too slow .Sometimes he remains last so that all other students and the teacher have to wait even at tiffin time .
While some other students were talking smartly with other students and parents and the teacher my child remained calm and nervous . I am worried ,because , shy students' talents are never noticed and thus such students miss many good growth opportunties at educational institution . It may sound too premature given the tender age o fmy child , but this is the age to correct .
Even if the career and school performance aspect is set aside , the shyness may lead to lonelyness . Many co-students of my child already have given up his friendship , because " he never talks . Only smiles at our deeds ."
3 people like this
6 responses
@vinzen (1020)
• India
18 Aug 07
Hi, please do not worry so much. Your child is still so young and this is very normal to see kids this age, shy, quiet and reserved. They all change when they grow up. And hes not shy at home with you all, hes like this only in school. It means hes like this with stangers and maybe hes very observant and see and understands and picks up things fast, his reactions and actions maybe slow. Hes getting good grades , but his movements are slow. It does happen with some kids, but with time they all get alright. Let him mingle more with kids his own age, and they start reacting when with other kids their own age, but take their own time also.I run a small school so see such kids all the time at various levels and they are good in some other things, but within 1-2 years, you will see a marked change in him, dont think so ahead of his future, enjoy and be happy with what you have now, enjoyu his childhood, be with him, dont force him to be like others, let him grow and bloom his natural self. He will be just fine in no time. :)
1 person likes this
@daofengscar (49)
• China
19 Aug 07
You should give him a travel,If he see the new things he will be very happy and can't help himself to talk with others
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
19 Aug 07
I think you have to work on boosting his self confidence, I was a mega shy kid even at home, I used to hide when we had visitors and hide at the back of the class room dreading getting picked to read and I believe it was all due to the fact I had no self confidence at all, and this went on through my teen years and then later I went to volunteer at a nursing home and I would keep some of the residents company and talk to them and even do silly things to get them to smile and it was here that some of them liked me so much and did things for me where the staff couldn't, I actually got a couple of old people to speak when they hadn't sploken for a long time and just that alone made me feel I was worth something that I could make people smile and after awhile my whole personality changed now I go out and promote a couple of bands and that takes a lot of talking to people I have never met, talking to fans and I love it, it is just a case of proving to your sone that he can do anything and that he is worthy....
1 person likes this
@Puffer (92)
• Singapore
19 Aug 07
When my boy was about 4 to 5 years of age, just like your child, he was extremely shy and sensitive to how people perceive him. He too was good academically and was able to follow instructions and did his schoolwork faithfully. But, when we visited our relatives or friends, he would refuse to enter into the house, clinged onto his mum etc. We tried to expose him more by bringing him out. During his first few piano lessons, he would still cling onto his mum and refuse to participate in certain activities. Now, he's just had his 6 birthday and he has improved alot since.
Is your child slow in his work because he takes pride to do his work carefully and ensuring all his work are done correctly? Encourage him to be brave to take on people. It takes time. When your child is at the most relaxed state i.e. in the midst of his favourite game, ask him casually the reason for being afraid to speak out etc. I think some children will tend to be shy at a certain stage, but will gradually outgrow it. The help of parents in terms of giving encouragement and praises will work wonders. Praise him for the most little improvement he's made.
@tinybop (113)
• United States
19 Aug 07
My daughter was very shy a year ago but we joined a playgroup and go on playdates at least 1 or 2 times a week and it has realy pulled her out of her shell, she loves these playdates and realy looks forward to them. She is 3 1/2 and will be going to pre-school this year.
@Annelee (3)
• China
19 Aug 07
To encourage him to chat with people around him.
To give him more confidence such as exaggerating his tiny success.
To do more team-work sports with him as many as possible.
To creat more chances to play with kids of the same age.
Don't worry.Try your best and be patient. I believe your child t be a outstanding boy. Under your help he must overcome this temporal shortcoming.
1 person likes this
