Moral Dilemma!

How about seeing if there is a support groups in your area for both pregnant teens and for those who have had abortions. She can see what the teens are going to the benefits and the hard stuff. She can talk to those who have had abortions and they can share stories about how hard it was - if they still think about it grieve each year on the day it was done. They may share stories about how much easier life was without that to worry about. Maybe you can look into adoption too, a couple who desperately wants a child. I always answer first then read replies, I hope you get replies from those who have been through both because honestly I think that's the person you should take advice from. They've been there. If not, maybe there are websites or message boards on the web that are dedicated to just this very subject. They've been there. Ultimately, she has to listen to her heart. Do what's best and right for her. BTW, I think its so great that you are there for emotional and financial support. Does her parents know, how do they or would they feel about it?

Well, I'm not against abortion, but is there no way she could have the baby and just put it up for adoption? If that is at all possible, i think that would be a good route to go. but, if not then i think she should have the abortion. its a very hard choice but what kind of life would the baby have right now being raised by a 16 year old and her boyfriend?

Your cousin is a very fortunate young woman to have someone like you that she could turn to. Don't pay any attention to those who will try to force their own "moral" beliefs on you or who try to scare you or the pregnant girl into believing there will be unknown "scars" if she has an abortion. I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of this decision; it's not a pleasant thing to have to choose, to be sure, but sometimes it's the best choice. At only 2 or 3 weeks along I don't think it could be called a "baby" yet. Doctors can't even agree on when life begins so don't let total strangers tell you. Pro-life isn't only about being against abortion, it's about being FOR life that is already here, already living and breathing! Your cousin's life and future have to be considered here. It appears she is a responsible girl and has a nice boyfriend, and I wish only the best to both of them. If it's meant to be the two of them can have as many babies as they'd like when the timing is better. Good luck to you all. I hope everything turns out well. Bless you for being there for your cousin, every one should be so lucky when they're in a jam.

My heart goes out for the unborn child. I myself waited for years to have a baby and some of my relative grew old just waiting for that one angel but didn't come. It breaks my heart to know that some people are contemplating on aborting their own...I know that having one entails responsibilities that a 16 year old is not ready for but there are options other than abortion... I hope you and your cousin would find it in your heart to consider that the baby did not do anything nor did it asked to be conceived... please think not only twice before doing it because the emotional dilemma and trauma would cost a lifetime not only for your cousin but also for you...

I was wondering about her parents, and I see that she hasn't told them as yet. This is truly a tough decision. I don't agree with the idea of an abortion. I've heard the nightmares of women who've had abortions and the scars they carry throughout their lives. The fact that she doesn't want her parents to know tells me that she has already made up her mind and any outside opinions will not influence her decision. I think that she should consult with new doctors. I thought that doctors were supposed to SAVE lives? She should also find some women who have had abortions and get THEIR views and experience.

oh man, this is a tough one. what does she think? does she think that she can go on to university and still have the baby? or perhaps she sees abortion as the only option? if she really wants to have the baby (as i have gathered from what you have said that you're both pro-life) then she should. i know a lot of young people who have gone to to have babies AND still went to school. a few changes were made but they were able to do it. usually family members took care of the baby while they were at school, or they had the baby put up for adoption. There are a lot of options here; the thing that makes it hard is that some are usually options that we don't like. Hope this ends well for all of you.

To me it is a dilemma , true dilemma . But decision is to be taken as early as possible . Emotion should not get priority . Soiety's view is always against premarital child birth . But there is a question of love and life . Parents should be taken into confidence . the boyfriend should not be allowed to escape fromthe scene .

I'm 38 years old and I have 5 kids. I had my first at 17. My parents were very supportive of me. They didn't like the father of my baby much and that turned out to be a correct opinion, but my oldest was just recently married and I couldn't be happier. Here is the thing. If your cousin feels that she does not want to raise a baby, but she feels comfortable enduring the pain of pregancy and childbirth, adoption is a great option. However, if she does not think she can endure pregancy and childbirth and cannot raise a child, abortion should be an option. It is entirely up to her, but if she is going to choose abortion, she should choose it now. the time is nearly up for that. Don't listen to people who believe that the feelings of he fetus who has no brain is more important than the feelings of the mother, who has a brain. She was not being immature. She was protected. It failed. I had two pill babies. If she can't go through pregnancy and childbirth then she should abort and start over. If she can go through that torture, adoption is a great option. It must be her decision. It's her body.

The final choice is the pregnant woman's. If your cousin wants the abortion then you are doing the right thing. But if deep in her heart she thinks it is wrong, then she shouldn't do it.She can give the baby up for adoption.that is why I am pro choice. The key word is choice. But only the pregnant woman can make it. You are doing the right thing. You are there for her. She has support in any decision she makes.You have three weeks. You don't have to make a rushed decision.Sit down with your cousin and ask her what she really wants to do and go from there.The decision that she can live with, either way, will be the right choice.You are doing the right thing. Take care.

Sorry, but I am against abortion especially in a case like this. They made the mistake of getting pregnant. Killing the baby would be another mistake. You don't correct a mistake with another mistake. You correct a mistake by doing the right thing. Both of them need to be responsible for their actions, have the baby, and give it a good life. I am only in favor of abortion in cases of rape or when the mother's life is endangered by the pregnancy.

I would say abort as I don't think life really begins until after birth. She is young and we know her boyfriend is only temporary. In my life I only know one couple that has been together since high school. We all grow and our priorities change in life. If she doesn't want to be an uneducated single mother I say abortion is the right choice. When she is older and with the right man then she will have plenty of opportunities to have kids. It is good she has family she can lean on in a time like this and that is what is important.

Three weeks is not much time to make such a big decision. Is she afraid to tell her parents? What will happen, realistically, if she does? i think the first thing you should do is gently try to persuade her to tell them. I personally am opposed to abortion, for me. Other people have whatever rights they claim for themselves. Are you aware that there are open adoptions with the agreement that she will live with the prospective parents, get to know them, be assured they will be a good match for her child and she will get letters from them, so she can keep an update of the baby's life?

No matter what she will decide, this is a decision that will changer her life. It seams to be easy to just have an abortion but for some women, specially if they are pro-life, this is a hard decision to be taken. Of course the decision of keeping the baby or giving him/her to adoption is a hard decision too. She needs to make a decision and think of it as the right one, no matter what other people say.

I'm sorry you and your cousin have to go through this, it must be such a hard decision. I know most people would say no to abortion and that the baby is gods gift, blah blah. But she is obviously responsible, she has tried to do the right thing,by taking precautions like the pill and other contraceptive measures. It really is a hard place though. I'm not entirely sure what i would do. My friend has confided in me that she has had four abortions. The reason for those was that she was on extremely strong birth control pills, she already had two children to another man, and didn't want to do it all over again. I believe because she was on the birth control and taking necessary precautions then that's ok. She was also not in a steady relationship and didn't think the father would commit to a baby with her. Turns out tho, now they've been together for a long time, and are expecting a baby soon, the timing for this one is right, and they were actually trying to have this one. So I think she did the right thing in the past. I'm one of those people who arent pro abortion but also arent anti abortion. I think abortion has its place in the world, as long as its used properly and isnt just a form of birth control etc. I wouldn't do it myself, but wouldn't hate someone who did it. I really hope your cousin thinks about it and makes the best decision for herself. And it's great that she has your support in whatever she chooses. :)

I was just reading an article that since abortion was made legal, there have been fewer adoptions. People seem not have directed their hatred towards those who are unable to have babies, believing it is their fault. How can you be pro-life and say that an abortion is okay in this case? I think you should search for adoption agencies, find any that has a place where she can stay for the time being. Do not kill the baby and do something that she may regret later. I am sure there are places where unwed mothers can stay until the baby is born or did they close all of them so she has to stay with her parents? And the people who cannot have children are not that way because they are potential child abusers or murderers or cold hearted. Most of them truly love and care for children and it does not matter if they gave birth or them or not.

What are kids coming to these days? On the pill since 12! Well, I feel you should try talking to her and of course an abortion. She is only 16. She will not be upto all the problems associated with a child, and maybe in the long run will want to desperately run her own life minus the child. This will bring in a series of step fathers and so on. Please be kind to the unborn child. Let her study and make a life for herself before parenting. Also be strict with her and tell her once and no more. She has never earned for herself or made ends meet. I suppose her parents support her. Yes, friend, an abortion is best for both of them. Just do your duty and leave the rest to God.

hi Maylck,i will suggest both you and your cousin not to worry at all..it was all accidental..so none of you need to be scared...just convince your cousin to opt for an abortion under an experienced gynecologist...it may sound rude to you saying this in a go...but friend i am a doctor too and this would be the best for everybody..as your cousin sister doesn't seem to be mature enough to give birth to a baby as in teenage there can occur many complications and its also possible that the baby may not survive..it will deteriorate her health as well mental set up too...so just make up your mind for an abortion..everything would be fine soon..God bless you dear..

I think that it would be better abortion. Adoption would be much harder for her and him(Depedning on Him)to put the baby for adoption, and the kid will have to live without knowing who his parents are(In a orphanage prob). And she will wonder what happened to the baby, I don't know, but the fetus(If it is by now, which I forgot the stages of pregnancyXD is not even thinking by itself atm, so she shoouldn't worry too much about it. And to tell her parent should be the couple decision, some parents would break the relatiosnhip between them whci I think, it is not the best decision because both are going trough this, while other parents may take it more calmly.So I think that you could help them make a decision depending on how you think they may take this problem. Best Wishes:)!!!!

I was in much the same situation a few years ago, and I decided to go through with the abortion, even though I love children. Although I am still sad that I couldn't have given it life and love, I know that I did the best thing for myself. To this day, I still support my decision and know that I am better for it. I don't think it will be selfish for your cousin to abort the pregnancy. It's great that there are all of you supporting and loving her, it's the most important thing in this situation.