Do You Suffer From OCD?

I suffer from OCD. I don't understand my illness. I often tell my husband, I don't understand, I'm a slave to it. And that's really how it feels. A huge component of my particular case is the fear of germs and toxic products. This is a bad combination because while I fear the germs, I also fear the products which are meant to kill bacteria. I've learned that I can only use chemicals just before I am about to shower. I usd to shower three or four times a day to do this but I currently refuse to punish myself like that so I only use product just before my shower every night. I wish my hands frequently, sometimes three times in a row. It's a terrrible fear that I feel or else I wouldn't do it. I know it is crazy. I am also a checker, counter, etc. I've been making alot of progress lately though. I do not take medication but have found great relief by talking to normal people. I simply ask ya know, do you do this or would you do this if that happened? And if they say no, I feel better, more like, ok I can do this and be okay. I've also just made myself do things I didn't want to do or more specifically not do things. For instance, the other day dirty dishwater splashed on my leg, normally this would have resulted in a shower but instead I wiped it with plain water and got busy so I wouldn't think about it. Now it's happened since and it was no big deal just to wipe it and go. The more you expose yourself to your fears, the more they aren't fears anymore. And I think this sort of thing works far better than medicine ever could. It will be a lifelong battle, I don't pretend otherwise but I am learning ways to cope and I hope everyone else can to.

I am one of those people with a mild offshoot of OCD. I'm a checker. I get ready to leave the house and often turn around at the door to go back and check that I turned this off or set the other thing or whatever it is. Sometimes I get as far as the car. A few times I even drove all the way home from work to check on the coffee pot. I put the kids to bed and lock the doors but just as I am about to fall asleep, I wake up and go check the doors again. I used to stop and imprint in my memory when I unplugged the coffee pot to try to cut down on those return trips. For a while I had a pot with auto-shutoff. That was heaven because it didn't matter if I didn't turn it off. That broke and my cheapie replacement doesn't have that feature. So, instead I got married and my husband is home during the day. I figure, if the house catches fire, he'll probably notice.

I am a meticulous clean-freak, but other than that, I don't have any other real compulsions.

My Husband has severe OCD which he was diagnosed with 16 years ago after our first child was born. the last five years have been the worst as he is worse than he has ever been and none of the meds seem to work anymore so now they keep changing them adn trying new ones. He had a sort of breakdown when hsi best friend was killed in a car accident. thsi disease had destroyed our relationship adn almost sdestroyed our marriage. If I wasn't so stubborn, I would have probaly left him years ago, but I still want him to get better and get back my old husband if I can. It is very frustrating to see someone you love suffer so much.