For The Ladies...Do You Have or Encourage Proper Etiquette?

Well to be honest I was taught all those things, but they didn't have a chance of sticking, LOL. I was the only girl out of 4 and I found it doubled standard I was brow beaten by the older lady's in my family for the same things my brother's did. I felt it wasn't fair they could do all these things, heck it was expected from them really, yet I could not. So being the little rebellion that I am, I wouldn't listen. Happy for all, as I became an adult I just figured things like scratching, burping, and nose picking was tacky to do in public so I refrain from it. I do yell and other things like use bad words when the kids aren't around, but I do try to keep myself looking appealing or at least being what I would like out of others. Funny thing is I teach my girls proper etiquette and they are doing very well with it. Now while I have no son’s of my own, if I did, I would have treated him the same and expected the same from him as well. Cause nothing is tackier than a guy doing a “red neck tissue” in public following it up with a belch...YUCK!

First of all I loved that picture of Queen Elizabeth picking her nose!! LOL Priceless...gee, even a Queen picks her nose no?? I like to think I have good manners myself and there are some things I won't do in public..uh, like pick my nose..heehe But you're right, I see a lot of women,not just young grils nowadays spitting on the sidewalk...and yeesh...sometimes I've seen moms with there kids letting their kids pee on the street...Nope you're not old fashioned...cause if you are, so am I.

I guess it means that both , people aren't teaching manners and you are a little old fashioned.I don't know if it is because of the women's movement or the lack of time or desire to teach the children manners.

OH where oh where oh where did the manners go? I agree it seems that no one has manners any more. I hate it when someone runs into you and yells at you to watch out where you are going when you where just standing there. I hate there is not privacy when people use a cell phone. I was sitting in a booth in a restaurant and a man in the next booth over was telling someone on his cell phone "tomorrow I have my drunk driving class and then I get my results for blood test, .......Oh I just was tested for AIDS, the doctor thinks I might have it...... Oh the food is here I need to go." TO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't anything a secret, I was taught there are some things you only talked about behind closed doors, and drunk driving class and AIDS test would be one of them. Manners, manners.

Great topic. Maybe you came across my daughter. Unfortunately, she has a long way to go when it comes to etiquette. I can't speak for everyone, but in my case, it wasn't for lack of trying. I've taught her the proper way to do things. She just doesn't want to learn them. I know that some will see it as a reflection of my parenting and that makes me feel even worse. I think a few things have contributed to her lack of manners... One, I probably am not as strict as generations before me. I won't hit her. I rarely resort to public humiliation ( a have a few times because it can be effective). Two, I believe the saying "it takes a village" and unfortunately, although I try to set a good example, some of the members of our "village" have not been a big help. My mother in law and my husband, once thought it was cute to show my children how to shoot spitballs in a restaurant. I was annoyed and told them it wasn't a good idea and asked them to stop. They laughed it off. She was probably 6 years old at the time. Well guess what? She is now 14 going on 15 and she still does it in certain circumstances. We were at a softball tournament this past summer and she shot one at her softball coach. I was somewhat appalled. Only somewhat because he was also a pesonal friend and they type of adult that sometimes is a little too playful with kids too. Another factors is that she is an athlete and participates in team sports. She learns from her peers. I guess sometimes girls her are althetic, can be a little less than "ladylike" on occassions. This doesn't mean that they aren't feminine. Trust me sometimes they can be very girly, but other times they act like the boys. The belch, they spit and they fart and they think it's okay. I'm almost tempted to not to send this, because it is quite embarassing. And I know these reasons probably come across as "excuses" to many, but I guess it is somewhat of an answer to your question. Take care.

Well I have to say why is spitting and burping and scratching a "man" thing? That's like asking why a woman is working as an electrician or a man is working in the kitchen as a chef. I don't think there is a "man" thing or a "girl" thing except maybe body parts and peeing. Second...to me it's a matter of Manners. Whether you're a boy or a girl, you should have the proper manners not to spit or burp without saying excuse me. You should have the manners to say please and thank you. I do have the proper manners. I don't think it's my place to encourage others especially adults. I do encourage children though as they are the ones who need their minds molded to utilize proper manners so they won't be disrespectful when they grow up.

Proper etiquette was very important part of my teachings. It was consider an important sign of whether you were a "lady" or "common trash". Table manners was also an important part of my etiquette lessons.

Well I went to the sort of strict English private school where manners and etiquette were very important, but it was always stressed that these things were important for both sexes. At the end of the day we are all human beings, and should behave repectfully to each other regardless of whether we are male or female. I don't particularly like to see young women spit, scratch etc, but then I don't like to see men do it either. It's a matter of respect to those around you - the rules of behaviour should he no different for a man or a woman in my opinion.

My mom and my dad both taught me to mind my manners and to be polite and respectful to others. They taught me all of what you were taught too. The women and girls of today just don't seem to care about manners or etiquette. They just want to do their own thing, no matter how bad it looks. I think they were taught manners, but they just didn't take them to heart. And, to me, that is very sad.

Growing up my sister and I were not taugth proper etiquette but were taught manners . We were taught that everyone has to burp but when you do it was polite to say excuse me , if one had to fart it was with respect for others that you went to another room , we were taught to say please and thank you for things and to be grateful for what we had . This I teach my children and hope they will carry it with them always as it is only with respect for those that you are around as no one wants to see someone picking at themselves are belching all over the place or lifting one's leg to fart . My brother in law had a bad habit of farting at the table all the time and when he did he would lift his leg like a dog , this irritated me and I used to tell him that he was acting like a dog and if he continued to do this I was going to spray him like , he thought I was just being funny until I sprayed him with Febreeze everytime he farted at the table . He watches himself more when he is around as everyone laughed at him and couldn't believe I had actually did this but I told everyone if he was going to be rude and try to spell up the house at the dinner table then I was going to illiminate the smell one way or another .

I have excellent manners. I do burp and fart in public. because ladies do this, just as men do. I will say excuse me, after, but just because I am a lady does not mean that I don't have bodily functions. I shouldn't have to scuttle away and pretend that I don't have to do them. and they're not a choice, your body does them because it needs to shift gas. it's not healthy to try and prevent it. I am a lady. this does not mean I should have to pretend not to be a functioning human being.

Oh, how I could go on and on about this subject! Let me just say that posture, etiquette and manners were naturally incorporated into my daily lessons. Certain decorum was expected of all of us, not just the girls. We learned the correct forks to use, how to use a soup and pasta spoon, public decorum, etc.. And we were a rambunctious, comedy-loving, collard-greens-eating family from the south side of Chicago! There was never anything "stuck-up" about us, just basic standards were expected. Yes, I'm old school and proud of it! My children were raised in that tradition and my grandchildren know what "Granma" expects. I have a harder time with my step-children (ages 9 & 11)than I do with my 3-year old granddaughter, because their parents don't expect the same things that I do. They will actually pass gas at the dinner table! Of course, they are human and these are natural bodily functions, but MANNERS dictate that you don't impose those functions on the rest of the world. Freedom of expression does not require that we all become bears who sh#t in the woods and then wipe our B*utts with rabbits! Oh, one more thing - I can't stand these little hot-tailed half-naked teenaged girl-punks/thugs strutting around. And they are the mothers of the future? (Or rather, last week) Anyway, yes, I am from a different generation and time moves on - but some things are worth preserving.

I used to resent it when I was growing up and my parents kept reminding me to act like a lady, since I had two older brothers that seemed to be able to do all kinds of fun things like work on cars, go hunting and fishing, and not have to wash dishes. We all had to say please and thank you and mind our manners at the table. I'm glad now that some of my parents training stuck, when I see how some girls act today.

Oh where, oh where, oh where did all the ladies goooo. I agree with you, it seems no one seems to have manner, even with the simple please and thank you is gone. I hate it when someone runs into you espically a girl or women and they give you dirty looks or they say "Man watch where you'er going" when you where standing in one place. Don't get started with talking on cell phone's in public, you learn more about a person than you want to know. I was sitting in a restaurant and a man was on a cell phone in the next booth, it was not a high booth so he could see us, he told someone on the phone that he needed to go to his drunk driving class, and needed to get his blood results for his AIDS test. I did not want to hear that! TO MUCH INFORMATION. No manner all around.

Hello! I have to agree with you that I have seen young ladies and ladies my age do things in public that are totally horrible! I am a stickler for teaching manners. I cannot stand to see these things go on. I will call my daughter who is 20 and my son who is 14 both down in public if they are not minding their manners the way I have taught them to do and I'm not ashamed to do it. If that is being old fashioned then I'm proud of it. Have a great day! SheliaLee

LOL, you are so right, twoey. I have frequently asked myself is it just that good manners have gone out of style. Young ladies of my generation were taught the same things as you. It was made clear that you were always to act like a lady and carry yourself in a respectful way. I think that rudeness and acting in a coarse manner have become the order of the day. I could cite a few reasons why things have gotten this way, but it really all adds up to one thing. The loosening of morals in today's world has led to the decrease in manners, politeness, and common courtesy. Parents desire a friendship with their children more than a guardianship. Many are afraid to correct their children when they do wrong things. I don't think there's anything wrong with being old-fashioned, twoey. I have said many times that good manners never go out of style.