Is spanking ok?

I think you just need to be consistent. Explain to the kids why they can't eat in their rooms and thet they'll be spanked if they do. If they disobey you, they know what the consequence will be.

I try alot of things first before spanking them but yes sometimes I think it's ok. Mine get grounded from things they love. Then the older ones have to write for hours out of our books or whatever handy. Putting them in a corner doesn't work. Usually they get to do more chores. They really hate it. I spank them if they try to hurt the other one. It has to be something really bad for them to get spanked.

i do not belive in spanking, it is even illegal here in my country and is considered to be childabuse. I belive that is why I feel it is wrong. if I had grown up somewhere and it was legal my views might have been different. however I was never spanked and I turned out just fine =)

Pick your battles....if you are spanking them over dirty dishes..what will you do when the do something dangerous. When my son did something dangerous is when he got spanked. Dirty dishes in a room is a misdemeanor...no TV for a week or maybe no dessert for a week. On the other hand, running into the street is a felony...spanking comes into play. Think of it as your own form of torture..be creative. My step-son moved in when he was 14. One day, I said 'I am going shopping, I want your room cleaned when I get back'. His response was 'You can't tell me what to do, you are not my mother.' On the way back, I stopped at the store - I bought 2 nice steaks, 2 lobster tails and 2 nice desserts. I cooked dinner - he sees me cooking lobster and steak and sits down to eat. He gets nothing. He looks shocked. I said 'I don't have to cook for you, I am not your mother.' He listened to me after that.

As a child i was spanked/pinched by my dad, personally looking back i think it was for the best, kinda told me what i could do and couldnt, stopped me from doing certain things which i shouldnt because i asscioated it with pain. Teaches kids what can happen if they don't listen as long as it is for their best interests. But you gotta make sure you don't spank them too much or harshly. If i have kids i probably would spank for simply the above reasons.

NO absolutly not i dont think using spanking or any type of physical violence is helpful to the child in most of circumstances .. it might be helpful but only in very rare situations.

I don't believe in spanking my children but don't feel any differently towards those that do . Each parent had their own technique that works best for them as I have my onw technique that works best for me . In our house I have always felt that a spanking will only suggest to a child that it is ok to hit someone as long as you are bigger or stronger so I use the counting technique where I count to my children and give them the option to decide if they are going to listen or if they are going to be punished for what they were doing to begin with . If they don't stop the behaviour they are making the choice to be grounded as I have always felt that in life we are alwas given choices to do what is right or what is wrong and it out choices that decide the course of action about what is going to happen to us . We can't expect others to always be there to decide what is best and it gives our children the sence of responsibility is choosing what is going to be by the consequences of their actions . They know upfront what the penalty will be for not listening and are give the choice to stop what they are doing or being punsished weather it means sitting for a certain length of time for the younger children or not using the phone and not going anywhere or having friends over for the older children . For us , this works in our household but each family has their own way of making their children listen and have their own way of what they believe works for them . We are never going to be completely right and if we are good parents we will never be completely wrong in what we decide but since no parent is perfect as no child is perfect , then we do the best we can by what we hope is going to work best as children do not come with a rule book to help us through each stage and no child is alike to help us with what will work for sure . We only have the ability to hope that with each child we are giving them the foundation to know what is right and what is wrong and hope that we are doing a good enough job to raise good children that will always try their best and make the right decisions for themselves .

It is not ok. And it is not the best way to discipline the child. Every children have a unique behavior and a unique attitude toward other. Spanking is not the answer, instead we need to show them the beauty of love and respect, so that she or he know what is a good sign of a good behavior. Beside that we need to show them what we are, if we show that we have a bad attitude, that is an example for them. Having a good parent is having a good children. We are the model of our children and we must show to them.

Hello Ejobsuccess!(",) I am not yet a parent but, I just would like to comment with regards to spanking a child. A parent can punish his child given that the child did something wrong. Parents should always make it a point to let the child understand why they are being spanked. Parents also should not abuse their authority to a point that the child will become abuse so parents should know how to discern when to spank the child appropriately. Great day!(",)

No. I dont like the habit of spanking, especially the children. Children are meant to be treated so carefully and softly. Many complain that some children dont take the words when said so softly. But I will say, Soft handling will always be the better choice than the rough handling and will always be fruitful than the latter one.

We do occasionally spank our children, but it is reserved for the most severe punishment. Some parents spank for everything and/or out of anger. We try many other forms of punishment first and most of the time they get the point before it comes to spanking. I was spanked as a child, although rare, and I am not a violent or angry person. My son is 7 and at his age there are things that affect him more than spanking, like taking away privileges. I do think it should be a last resort and not be done out of anger. If we spank our children, we talk about it afterwards and make sure they understand why they got a spanking. I know many parents do not agree, but this is what works in our home.

Hi, i am sorry for all that you have to undergo, as i know even if you are spanking your kids, its out of compulsion and frustration. Honestly speaking ,i feel there is a lot of change that you can bring about, so that kids listen to you. I am a mother too and i feel that spanking kids isnt the answer. There will be various views and opinions about this, and each one to their own views but, i would say that instead have a proper talk with your kids. No loud voices, no shouting, just sit across the table kind of talks ( incase they are 5-6 years and above ) as they do tend to get the hang of proper conversation by then. Make certain rules in your house, which need to be followed, like no eating in the rooms, make it a habit and try to follow it yourself too ( as kids half the time copy parents, so we have to be role models for them too. ) Let them know that they have to keep their rooms clean etc, and if things arent followed, there will be no eats, there will be no television etc, for so and so period of time ( till they start following these rules ). At first they will wonder and you may sound like a dictator, but once you are strict and follow this for a few days, you will see a marked difference in your kids. I have tried this method, of grounding and keeping their favourite things away, unless they listen, and it does work. Once they know you are serious, they will behave themselevs and you can get what you want ,done from them. But you must not give in to them, till they behave. I am sure they will be alright, they just need to be a little trained, and disciplined. And by spanking you are getting yourself upset and angry with them, and that has stopped making any effort on them any longer i gues, so it all piles up into frustration and helplessness too. So maybe this other method may work for you.

I think you are doing a great job by keeping up on the discipline and I think it will pay off later. It would strike me as odd if you cared for 3 children and wasn't tired and frustrated because I would think that you didn't care. Teaching them manners, values, and having rules as a child is what shapes them into being productive members of society. Just stay on them and stay consistent. With discipline you have to do what works. With some kids it works to tell them to pick something up and they do it, others you might have to yell a little, and still others you will have to spank a little sense into them when you are at your wit's end. The last thing you want is the kid's running your household. I got about a total of not even 10 spankings growing up and there is nothing wrong with me, i don't resent my mother for it and i don't have issues with hitting or any other of the preconceived notions about spanking. You only do it as needed. It's cool to warn them that the next step would be a wooping, that's what my sister does with my nephew and it works for him. He barely needs a wooping. But good luck and just stay on top of it...Good job

I would have to say if it is not beating your child then yes I agree to spank your child once in a while is ok if your not doing out of anger it sends more of an impact then getting frustraighted and more angry it also sends a clear message that you mean what you say some kids think of time out as a joke, but when they know the punishment hard they tend to take that more serious.

Well, I'm a K-12 teacher & also a tutor. For me, spanking will only take place, if the students really over the edge. Most of the time, I'm just advice them to correct what they are doing wrong, despite of just spanking them...

My mother spanked us as children, and we never hollered abuse, we knew we had it coming! It wasn't the physical pain (she never spanked very hard) that kept us in line, but the shame in being spanked. I think children should not be spanked for every little infraction, but should know that you will spank them if necessary! You don't have to do it often or severely, just often enough to know it is a possibility! I spanked my children when they needed it growing up, and have spanked my grandchildren on a few occasions (with their parents permission). I have no problem getting them to mind me because they know I will spank if need be. I have never spanked my oldest granddaughter. I made a comment once on how well-behaved she was when she was with me. She commented back that she didn't want spanked. I have never spanked this particular child but she has seen me spank her older cousin! When done in an appropriate manner, on limited occasions and with self-control and not out of rage, it can be an extremely effective method of discipline. I would like to add a comment on the generally disrespectful attitude of today's children. Yours aren't the only one who behave this way. My grandchildren treat their own parents this way and I think the general lack of courtesy and the acceptability of rude behavior in our culture nowadays encourages it. It's a sad situation, and parents are often fighting a losing battle.

Earlier I used to spank my children, but for last one year I have stopped spanking. I understand that spanking make children to drift away from their parents and it many even affect them mentally. Ofcourse I am very much strict and my children are very much disciplined. I handle them psychologically teach them what is right and wrong. You can visit my following blog for more details. http://hubpages.com/hub/Spanking_Your_Kids

I think it's ok to give punishment to children when they commit something harsh or bad or when they became hard headed and don't listen anymore to their parents. But before you hit them always remember the consequence of what this will do to them. It's very important to explain to them the reason why you had hit or spank them, the mistakes that they had done. Just remember to control our emotions and anger in doing this, maybe the plan spanking punishment had already grown to beating our children.

Growing up my Dad was the strict one. We'd get grounded and if that didn't work we'd get a spanking. I can only remember getting 2-3 in my whole childhood. My Grandfather (my Dad's Dad) believed in the woodshed...I was never bad enough to have to go there...tho several cousins did. My Mom only spanked us once or twice growing up. I always thought spankings were the way to go but when I became a foster parent that changed. A foster parent isn't allowed to spank or hit a foster child. We learned to use the corner, grounding and sentences. I've had 20 year old foster kids in the corner. I've had all four corners of a room full at once. I think whatever punishment you decide on you have to be firm about it and not let it slide. It is hard to deal with kids but it's something that has to be done. AT PEACE WITHIN

Isn't unfair that we are blessed with 2 eyes,2 arms, 2 legs but only one mouth and one brain? You don't say how old your children are. I am not a spanker but I do understand the frustration that leads one to want to go that route. I always let my girls have food in their rooms with the understanding that dishes needed to be brought out promptly. I had one that was forever leaving her food in her room. It was gross and yes,attracts bugs. Each time she pulled this....it was time for her to do dishes. Dishes that have sat around with dried on food and mold are the worst kind. Oh it was a battle each and every time but eventually she did get a clue and became more diligent on picking up after herself. As far as disrespect...i am a ranter...my girls hated it so much. I said well, if you don't like to hear it then don't bring it on...simple. Once my daughter was so bad with the dirty dishes in her room that after dinner one nite, I piled all our dirty dishes inside her room. "what are you doing mom?" she cried. "oh...i thought this is where they go now...just trying to be organized." She lugged all of them back to the kitchen and yes...washed them as well as those she had on her own piled up in her room. She thought i was crazy and she really didn't like me for a while but oh well. She is grown now and would not dream of leaving dirty dishes lying about. guess it worked.