Is there a RIGHT TIME to get MARRIED? Tell me Please....

hello there prasad! Aren't you familiar with partner's living together? At first marriage is not at their priority i guess. Maybe all that matters at them at that time is their love for each other and the feeling that they don't want to lose each other. And so for 5 years now of living in they got a child and marriage is quite an issue already because their child is already studying and one of school requirements to enroll a child is there marriage contract. Especially that they are sending their child at a christian school so marriage is such a big issue. That's why he asked his long time partner about it but his partnes refuses and tell her that it's not yet the time. That's the reason why she's a little upset with her partner. She thinks that their relationship has no direction at all. Tell me my friend what can you suggest to patch these differences between them? What should she do to convince him? And what's the most effective way to convinced her man? Im looking forward to your reply with this one. Thanks to you! :)

Hi Sheen, After going through the trauma your friend is going through and hi attitude towards the marriage is totally not acceptable. He should definitely accept her for the marriage, even after such a period of five long years he is not agreeing means he is a person not to be believed and to stay with. Knowing his behaviour why did she give in for his carnal cravings. She should have abstained from all this. Anyway whatever has happened has happened, now let us think something to put her life into a comfortable position at least a decent look for her in the society. Now all what she can do is she has to talk to him and convince him for a marriage and if need be you or other friends put him on pressure to budge and accept for the marriage. Now everything depends on him to accept or give up, in case he rejects your friend will be helpless, she cannot do anything, so it is better you people use some restrain and convince him to agree. Let the lord give him a good mind to accept. Let us all pray for the good to happen.

hello there again prasad, "Yeah, Abstain". Sometimes prasad it is easier said than done. Most of the times when we are inloved we are blinded by everything. We dont think about tomorrow or think of our limitations when we are inlove. We have a choice though but we always prefer not to think about it. No matter what the world said about the person we love we tend to be deaf and blind because of our love to them. We only think of the present and the feelings that is so ovrwhelming.And maybe in my friends case she tend to be that way. By the way may i ask how old are you. hope u don't mind. :)

yes sheen u r absolutely right she should decide about him at the earliest.This matter should not be delayed either go for it or forget him. She should not continue at all. by the way whatis u r friends name. I have a freind on perfspot.com named shalakaira from bermuda, she is also facing such situation and now she is 35 yrs and his friend is just fooling her.

hello cen, it's me again! Her name is ma. josefa. She's my classmate in high school. We have no communication and just recently we meet at a "training skill center" she works there and her live in as a teacher and i happen to enroll in a subject that her partner is the teacher. That's why we manage to chit chat a little and she opened to me about her present situation. You know im not very good at giving advices that's why i decided to post her story so that I can hear some advice and opinions from others that can possibly help her in her present situation.:) And thank you very much cen for posting you views with regards to this matter! It sure helps a lot.

hi Cen! You know we have the same perception with their relationship. He is just fooling her. What's the right time his looking for. What more proof he still needs to see, to decide that it is the right thing that they should get married. Isn't five years is quite long enough of an engagement? Their child is not getting any younger and if they will not settle this thing at this moment it might create more complexities in the near future. What i tell my friend is to tell his lived in partner that he ain't fooling nobody. His alibi is just not acceptable. Tell that to the marines and maybe fish would buy it! I tell her if he still can't give her the assurance she's looking for then maybe it would be right to just end their relationship. He is not the one. He just don't deserved such kind of person. She's still young and promising. There is so much in the world ahead of her. There's more to life than still living with that man that has no ball. And dont have any plans for their future. I know it be very painful but its more painful waiting for a lifetime without assurance. Thank you cen. Youv'e made me just blew their. Whewww... :0

I know it would be difficult for your friend to leave him even if she knows he is spineless. That's how life is. She's probably scared of living alone with the child. She'd rather stay with him and suffer the indignity than go out and face the world alone. It takes a lot of courage to do that and not everyone can do it. I hope the man realizes and decides to marry her (atleast for the child's sake) or else you friends will have to take a decision for her and help her to get out of the situation and settle down in life alone. It's only the leaving part that is scary. Once you friends rally around her till she has her feet on the ground, things will be fine.

That's what exactly in my mind and our other friends point of view. His actually the spineless man in the world we have ever known. So coward of his responsibilities. But i could not tell my friend to leave his man easily. I know she loved him so much and i guess even if we tell her she will still not listen to us. She's so blinded with her love for him. Our only hope that she will realized what's best for her and for her child and can decide soon. And we also wish that his man could realized early what's best for his family. :)

Leaving is always the hard thing to do. For most of us afraid to start anew and wonder of what might life ahead. What it enstored for us. But you are right It is only difficult at first, the adjustment period but when things are already settled you will then realized thats its ok. But i know why she is holding back on leaving him its because of their child. She doesn't want her child to grow old without a father by their side. I think, she believes that she owe it to her child to have a complete family.

oh i see. well that's a complicated case. maybe the guy thinks that a marriage contract is not that important to raise a family. afterall, its just a paper. some guys think this way. but still, at the back of their minds, they see the girl as the one they'd live with forever. or maybe the guy isnt really ready yet to be "formally" tied. you know guys, they love their freedom so much. but if he loves your friend, then i think she just have to wait until her bf feels ready. ^__^ but then again.. if he is thinking otherwise, like in the near future he sees them separating ways, and your friend doesnt think that way, then your friend is in trouble. coz most likely that guy is inclined to look for other girls. i guess if she loves the guy so much she just have to make it sure that the guy wont fall out of love with her. but if your friend refuses to wait and security is so important to her, then i guess she could consider leaving him. she can explain everything to their child when he grows up. ^__^

Hello there secretbear, Maybe his that type of man who doesn't believed in marriaged. But lately I saw that their already both okay. My friend doesn't talked about it anymore. Maybe they already have an agreement and I haven't had the chance to talk to her in private and ask how are they right now. She's so busy and so do i.We meet every sunday but we don't talk that much because she is teaching and i do have a class too. Though somehow i can see that her man loves her too the only thing that is not good with him is that marriage thing. Maybe, yeah his not yet ready and need a lot more time to think about it.

Hello secretbear, Yes indeed secret bear, one must be emotionally and financially ready when planning to get married. But in my friends case, they are already living in for five years now.They have already one child. And yet they have not yet married. I mean legally married (involves marriage contract). And just recently my friend raised this topic to her partner but the guy refuses and tell her that it is not yet the time. If it is not yet the time, when would be the right time for them to get married? I told my friend that she should make a decission as soon as possible. Coz maybe she will be just waiting for a lifetime and still her partner will not proposed to her. It will be best for everybody, for both of them to get separated as early as this that they still have one child. The guy has no plan for them. No plan on marrying her. So what's the used of waiting and expecting; that maybe someday he would? Whatif that time will not come? Then it will be nothing, she's waiting for nothing. There's still a lot of this world enstore for her. She's pretty, she's intelligent and she's smart. She can look for someone better and this time has a ball on his responsibilities. She don't deserve that kind of man. So irresponsible and self-centered! But of course in the end its always her choice. It's her life to live not mine. My only hope that she will not make a decission that she might regret later on.

You think so lotsmom? Yeah i guess your right and maybe her partner couldn't take it that she's doing the proposal thing. Well i just wish that he do it pretty soon so that my friend can already have the peace of mind and the assurance coming from him.

Just like here in the Philippines the legal age to marry is 18 for the girls and 21 for the boys. The only difference is that in here there are a lot of individuals that are more open to pre-marriage arrangement.

Exactly balasundaram. Finding the right guy first and then that the time to plan for marriage so it will be hassle free and to avoid regrets later on. Just like in my friends case right now. She's been put into a great test in her relationship. I wish she can get over it soon. :) Thanks for responding buddy! :)