In love with my best friend
By myNemesis
@myNemesis (50)
Belgium
August 23, 2007 10:10am CST
Hi,
It makes me sad to know that I'm in love with my best friend. She's already got a boyfriend, and I don't want to lose her as a friend...
Anyone knows what I should do? My friends say I have a good chance with her, because she's really nice when she messages me and stuff...but I think that's just because of the great band we have.
Every day I wish I could spend my time with her, but that's a bit impossible, because she's at vacation right now.
So, what should I do?
2 people like this
13 responses
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
Frankly speaking, I've been in this situation. As a matter of fact, I have even posted this similar discussion here in myLot. However, there are a few differences between us. First, I am the girl. Second & I guess a lot harder than your situation, is the fact that we're both already married now. I just want to share with you how I felt then & now. We were friends way back in our college days. We were really close, I considered him my older brother aside from belonging in one peer group of 8 or 9. In turn, he treats me as a baby sister. We even walk together going home, although we're not in the same neighborhood; only to separate at some point along the way. After almost a couple of years, I confided in him that someone in our peer is courting me. I really don't feel anything for this other friend. Naturally, he was surprised. But his reply surprised me even more. He told me that he also felt the same towards me ever since we became friends. Unluckily, his conviction to not court a friend ever hindered him to court me. For once, I was not able to be as vocal as I am. I couldn't tell him that I do have feelings for him, too. Even now, I can't help myself but to wonder what could have happened if we were brave enough to fight for our love then. This was one thing I regret not doing, though. There were many happy memories with him that up to this day, I can't & will never ever forget; because these are the only ones I could keep & treasure forever. I hope you'll get something out of this. Good luck & keep loving.
@kaye0603 (48)
• Philippines
23 Aug 07
gawsh, that's really hard..come to think of it, i've been there.lol
ask from her something from where she's having a vacation. a souvenir or something..
nice thing about that is when she comes home, she would have to see you to give the stuff to you then after that, might as well grab the opportunity and hang out with her anywhere you find nice... well, i hope it helps
i'm afraid i couldn't offer more because although we ended up together with my best friend, after 6 happy months we broke up and now i'm moving on with my life and i have a very loving boyfriend. i do love him but i could never love a person as much as i loved my bestfriend anymore...pretty bad huh?
2 people like this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
24 Aug 07
Hmm.. this is quite confusing thing.
I have seen a person in this situation and with time he damaged my life a lot.
He had a Gf staying in different city. they had some problem regarding caste and all.I met my friend at my work place.
we became good friend and also I knew abt his Gf. His Gf and myself became good friends.
But my friend gave me little hints initially about his liking. Like he used to tel me "Why youhave not come early in my life"? and so on. I never minded. I considered him my best friend.
After few months when he went to meet his GF they had tiff about Caste prob and for time being they got separated.
My friend proposed me after coming back. I declined and told him it can't happen. He has a GF. He told me that due to her only he could not say his feelings to me.
still i said no.
He kept on persuing me.
after some time i shifted to my hometown. initially we had contact over phone. But in mean time he again started contacting his Gf. they again stated up.
But he kept me in blind.
Now just 2 weeks back he suddenly called me and started abusing me . it came like a bolt to me. He started saying very bad languagesto me. Also sent me lewd messages.
Now I understand why he did so. He fear taht as he is again with his GF, if I say that he proposed to me to his GF, he may lose her.
I hate him so much now and will not be able to forgive him my whole life.
So please don't get into such a relation. If its friendship then its ok.
Otherwise any one of you three will immensely get hurt.
Best of luck :)
1 person likes this
@sirromeomango (6)
• United States
24 Aug 07
That also true, mate. I had the same thing and I told her everything. She dumped him and went with me. Now he is always threatening to kill me and kick my butt and a bunch of other things. Just take it easy. Maybe you should just love her as a friend and help her with her relationship if she asks you to.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Aug 07
She already has a boyfriend?Is she serious about him? If so,you shouldn't tell her that you are in love with her.But if this is a new boyfriend, then you should tell her that you love her and that no matter what, you want to remain friends.This is hard, but she should know how you feel.Good Luck
1 person likes this
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Make your move. But like I said , tell her it is okay if she just wants to be friends.
2 people like this
@myNemesis (50)
• Belgium
23 Aug 07
They're seeing eachother for 3 months now...but she's not really pleased about him at the moment.
2 people like this
@sirromeomango (6)
• United States
24 Aug 07
I agree, mate. Take it slow and easy. She should know the truth, otherwise, you might miss your future wife.
1 person likes this
@sanju21 (135)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Don't get confused with the love of friendship and the love of romance.If she is your best friend and you love her as a true friend obviously she will understand the value of a true friend and the question of losing her does not arise.Yes you may not get the chance of pending as much time with her as you used to do in the past as her attention is now also on her boyfriend.Slowly she is entering in a new phase of life where your existence is important but not the only one--there is someone else in her life.So donot get obsessed with the past and try to accomodate the present with open heart.This is reality.Wait for her return and then plan for some nice way of spending time together.If she also thinks of you as her true friend she will also support the idea.
@myNemesis (50)
• Belgium
25 Aug 07
Well yesterday she asked me if I was in love with her (she sent me a text message).
I admitted...then she said "yeah, maybe I feel the same way about you..."
Then she was sending some weird stuff, and this morning she sent me "maybe it's better if we leave eachother alone for a while"
Ah well...too bad :)
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
Well, you have to respect her relationship with the other guy, so my advice to you is just hang in there as a friend. Anyway relationships are so hard to maintain that chances are, they'll break up sooner or later. Then that will be your chance to tell her how you feel. Don't worry about losing her as a friend. You're in love and you should tell her! No guts no glory!
Being her best friend you definitely have a good chance with her. Just be patient.
@loreico (55)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
as they say bestfriends can never be lovers, and for me i think it's true especially if what she felt for you is because you're bestfriends. not unless you both feel the same way, you'll just notice it when both of you are avoiding each other...
1 person likes this
@jb_vete (323)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
hello nemesis! YOu should'nt be sad about it. Loving is a wonderful thing. If only your friend doesn't have a boyfriend yet, i would advice you to confess to her about what you trully feel. But since she already have, i guess it would be better if you just keep your feelings to yourself first and learn to love her as just a friend.
@xiuluoelly (1224)
• China
24 Aug 07
Love is not a person must have her, if she really loves is, on its own way to care for her, protect her, and for me, as long as I love the people can be happy, no matter what he brought happiness to the owner, I will wish him good luck.
1 person likes this
@Ricko82 (584)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
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@pecome (3)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 07
hai..
I really know how do you feel right now..
feel sympathy..
But i suggest you have to be patience and try to make another best friend..
I doesn't mean that u have to forget her but make her miss you and to know how her feeling to you..
Maybe..
there are chances for you to know that she actually love or have feeling to you..
Good Luck dude!!
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