Family Vs Schedule
By uath13
@uath13 (8192)
United States
August 24, 2007 7:40am CST
My family is going to drive me nuts.
I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning & have my route timed so I know exactly how long I have to get there plus a few extra minutes for delays. Since school has started my family now takes one vehicle. We drop my daughter off at my mothers on the way where she waits until school time & my wife ( whose on a more flexible schedule than mine ) rides in with me. I've added a few minutes to my drive time in order to make sure I can make the route & still reach the timeclock in time.
Problem is getting my family out the door. I get up extra early so I can be done in the bathroom before they get up, fix my lunch & breakfast, feed the dogs, gather everything I'll need for the day in one place, then get to relax for about 1/2 hr before time to go. When 5:35 hits I'm ready & out the door. The rest of the family waits & dautles about when they get up until the last second then have to start gathering things from all ends of the house. Every morning I end up pushing them out the door with them complaining about being rushed. Lately I've been barely making it to work on time. My wife was shouting at me today for rushing her too much & making her forget things. If she'd have gotten them ready before she sat down to watch TV there wouldn't have been a problem. They don't get the concept of prepare first then relax I guess.
Am I the bad guy here as their trying to say even though if I let them take their time I'll get FIRED?
Does anyone else have similar problems & how have you delt with it? I need suggestions on how to convince them that its important to be ready on time.
2 people like this
9 responses
@mrsbrian (1949)
• United States
24 Aug 07
S ounds like you are very orginized,but you cant expect eceryone to be like that I m sure they know the importance of you being to work on time,just work with them and get a schedule going like you have,work on it but dont push it to far, we all have these problems..
2 people like this
@eanna13 (133)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Ok, This is a little inaccurate, First off we are not doing this because school started. We are doing this because your car broke! I get up before you, shower and get out of the bathroom, you get up get ready fead the dogs about 2/3's of the time and then go to the computer while you eat breakfast. leaving me to make sure the child is getting ready and make sure I have everything. you then jump up at about 5:35 (I don't care what time the computer says, It is not right)and finish getting ready then proceed to YELL at us to move. I am not a morning person, (you know this) and am doing a favor to you by taking you into work. you could drive the suzuki which was loaned to you for the purpose of getting to work and back.
1 person likes this
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Yet you feel its appropriate to sit about watching TV when your not prepared when you know I'm barely making it here on time now? A lot of the time the delay isn't Carrie its you. You wait till the last minute to get your stuff ready then complain when you forget something. I also find it selfish of you to even throw out the suzuki in this when you know the temperatures are over 100 degrees & it has no air conditioning. Shows some real concern for my wellbeing. As for the child, I'm herding her along before you ever come out of the bedroom.
1 person likes this
@eanna13 (133)
• United States
24 Aug 07
first off I get my stuff together in the morning, I can't help it if I remember at the last min I need something else. 2. The reason I mentioned the suzuki is because you told me the other day I could drive it. I will not drive that thing when my car is fine!!! I have driven it for a while REMEMBER??? we both have. you seem to be making this all one sided when it's not! you never give a warning that it's about time to leave, and expect everyone to know your schedule when you've never told us what it is until TODAY! IF you could stop and think of other people besides your self insted of whining when it doesn't go your way you might remember I can always change your time!! Am I not correct? your boss isn't even here at 6:30!!!
1 person likes this
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
24 Aug 07
First thing is to relax; then let your family know that if they are not ready by the time the driver (you) walks out the door, they're going to be left behind. They can either find alternate rides or miss a day of school or work. Depending on your daughter's age, she ought to be able to get herself ready for school in time. Then, hold true to your word. Leave them behind once or twice and they'll get the idea. Have a serious talk with your wife though and explain your concerns before you try it.
Blessed Be
@eanna13 (133)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Relax is one thing he can't do when it come to this. Also, It's my(his wife) car. NOTE: He has not been late once since we started riding together, and I think if he has a problem with this he should drive himself to work with the car that is available to him to use.
1 person likes this
@msmanners (24)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I feel your pain. Even though my days of rushing kids and family out the door is over, well at least for now, I would set the rule. If they weren't ready....then leave without them. You have to demand your respect. This is no game. This is how you support your family with your job. If you are late too often, well, you know what the story is there. I say, leave them one time and let them know how much they need you and if your wife gets upset with you then let her find a way to deal with the rest of the family. I think you are being taken advantage of. They just need a little shake is all. You pull your weight, they have to pull theirs. A family is a team. It's worth a shot.
1 person likes this
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
24 Aug 07
sounds stressful! Is there any way you could help things along in the morning with out "rushing" any one? ie getting shoes together, making sure school bags are found? I agree that it's not fair since you ARE the one getting up incredibly early but unfortunately it sounds like you will have to be proactive to solve the problem. Is a second car out of the question? lol that would solve all your problems. THat way if they're late they're the only ones suffering. ;)
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Unfortunantly we'd be luckey to get anything for either of them from the scrap yard. The engine is blown on my old beat up truck & the suzuki is on loan from my father ( Its incredibly beat up and had been rolled, the hampster it has for an engine is on its last legs ). She seems to think I should drive the suzuli to work even though in the afternoons Its over 120 degrees inside, has no airconditioning & is so small I beat my already damaged knee on the dash & its an hour drive. That won't work.
We don't have the budget to buy another vehicle either. It makes no sense to take two vehicles when we're going to the same place anyways, our weekly gas bills were etroscious when we had two running.
She just doesen't want to give up her laid back mornings for the families good & is holding it aginst me.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
25 Aug 07
lol doesn't sound very relaxed to me! Seriously For the sake of marital harmony you need to find a solution. ;)
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
24 Aug 07
lol I just read your wife's side of things.... I probably should have done that before posting.... If you can't get the truck fixed and the other car sucks so bad why not sell both and buy something better?
@StayHomeMom (108)
• United States
24 Aug 07
We do not ride in the same car but I know how you feel. My husbnd works nights and I am responsible for getting him up even though his alarm goes off. I wake him up plenty early. I lay his clothes out fix his dinner and have everything ready so all he has to do is walk out the door. Some how he still is rushing out the door and it is my fault. After a couple of weeks of it being my fault then I will let him go back to trying to get up to the alarm clock and getting his own clothes he will get up a little earlier. I have even left my kids at home so they did not get to go place. When I said lets go they new I ment it because I was walking out the door if they did not follow they got left behind. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Leaving the kid alone at the house, scary thought. I could could come home to a smouldering crater.
Wish I'd had the luxury of someone preparing my stuff for me. Next time he complains & says its your fault tell him I'd be happy to let you take care of me, JKD.
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
•
24 Aug 07
Cars are really cheap and reliable now so get yourself a little sports car or something fun to drive and get to work on time and in a stress free mode to start the day.
Look upon it as insurance - if one car fails to start then you have a backup. That's the argument to use with the family if there is any hassle about the cost.
Bottom line is - if you can't get to work, you all go hungry!!
@ketssom (42)
• United States
21 Oct 07
many good points have been made and it makes me glad i no longer have those problems, all i can add is alittle of my history & is not ment as advise...
i had 4 young children with the last 2 twins (in stroller),
the middle son was in a backpack carrier & my hadicapped daughter (the oldest) on a leach like contraption.
i walked everywhere as i couldnt afford a vehicle nor had any1 to help with the kids...
on occasion id take city bus, this was me going anywhere, stores, babysitters etc
my point is least you are not totally alone in this so perhaps instead of looking at what each of you do not have look at what you do & try to make it work as best as you can - sry not more supportive
