Do you wait or move on??

I do not have a husband who is in SCI or have never had to deal with anyone in prison. I feel if he does not do it for you then you should move on. I know he wants you to wait for him, but has he really been fair to you since he cannot seem to stay our of prison? I feel you can still remain friends and still see him in prison. Good luck to you I know you are going through he77 with the decisions you have to make. It is not easy to admitt you are not attacted to guys and would rather be with a woman.

If he keeps on going back to prison, he hasn't learned his lesson and moved on into a better and more productive life. Marriage is more than a piece of paper, it has to be a partnership. His interests obviously are not the good of the marriage or your family. Sometimes, even if you love someone, you can't help them this way. As long as nothing he cares about is endangered, he won't change. Maybe if you move on, he may have a chance to re-examine his life and make some changes. Sadly, even if he does, you can't look back. In my state you can get an uncontested divorce automatically if your spouse gets a prison sentence of 5 years or more, even if he doesn't serve it. I would look into my options if I were you. And good luck on starting a new life.

well hun..like i have been telling you for some time..its really time to move on..and i know you know in your heart that its true..its just taking the first step and admit to urself that you can do it and thats its time,he is never goin to grow up..and things wil never change..and honestly how much happier have u been since he has beeen in jail lately? Now think of how u feel when he was home..and i know it was tense..and always waiting to see what was going to happen next..or when he was gonna leave or end up in jail again..this is best for you and most of all your daughters,,do you really want them seeing this all there lives and thinking this kind if life he lives is ok? Hunny..go and make yourself happy..go get your gal of your dreams and be happy..you deserve it!! lots of luck my dear friend!

You need to move on eith your life. If in 12 years your husband has been out ony 3 of them, that goes to show you how important you are to him. If you were even half as important to him as you SHOULD be as his spouse, then he would at least make an attempt to quit the behavior that is getting him sent to prison. It sounds like he has not even done this. If you would rather be with a woman, then go out there and find yourself a wonderful woman to be with! You need to leave that low-life man and find you someone, be it a man or a woman, that make you happy. i do not know if you are male or female yourself, but you need to decide what gender you are honestly attracted to. You say you would rather be with a woman, yet you are married to a man. Is this to suggest that you have been untrue to yourself all this time? If so, then why? i guess if you are female yourself i can see your motive. It is hard to be a homosexual even in this day and age. However, you need to be true to yourself...your heart...your soul. If you feel yourself more compelled to be with and more attracted to a woman, then that is the gender you need to seek.

if you find him as your true love then you should wait because, in his side too he is waiting for you. both oif you guys are waiting each other. well if you just can not wait then better get someone else just for a spare and when he gets out the thats the time you will be together again. you are married with him right? so that means you are already binded with him and that means you will not loose him till the end of the time well if not then go on and move on. its your choice. just pray!!1

For me maybe it's better to wait as long as you still love each other you're doing this not only for yurself but for the kids also. Having another one is a great risk of hurting yourself again after all.

I believe in matters of the heart the person affected is the only who knows where and how it hurts and often they already have a solution. I believe you need to do some soul searching and see which way you should go. May I ask why he keeps going to jail?

I hear where you are coming from. I myself do not have a spouse in prison, but my daughter does. I have been though all the up's and downs with her. He gets out and goes back in. He wants to start life over, but never does. He goes right back to his old self. She has tried to start over, but when things don't work out she falls back on him. She tries to have relationships on the outside, but they don't work out. Lol they are supposed to have been getting a divorce for 3 years. Granted I told her she is insecure. I told her she does not have to rush things, but trying to live in the past never works. There is a lot more to this... I would say you need to move on girl. You deserve a better life,and to be happy. People in prison, play a head game... they promise to change, and profess their love, and write heart wrenching letters, but when they come out " they are no better, and have changed more than when they went in. They are hardend from being inside, and learn from other inmates on how to work it. But only you can decide what is best for you, and your children.

hello mystic i think if you have kids should consider moving on but first make sure that your kids are in the same level with you and that they understand is not healthy for you and the kids, live is precious don't waste and before you do talk to your hubby and tell him you reach your limit if he cares he'll try to change good luck

My husband has never been in jail. I say you should move on. I think that in 12 years that is plenty of time to clean up your life and quit going to jail. If he truly loves you then he would understand that there is nothing he can do to make you changeyour mind and let you find another woman. He should want you to be happy.