How many mylotters have chosen NOT to have children? and why?

I frequently exclaim that I do not want children, but I don't actually know how serious I am. Having a child scares me. It's not because of the birth itself, it's because of having someone else's life in your hands. The other day my co-worker called her daughter who'd just had her tonsils out (she's 7 or so) and the daughter was all upset cause her throat felt weird and she wanted her mom (co-worker) to call the doctor to make sure it was normal. My co-worker put her on hold while she pretended to call the doctor and then told her daughter it was fine. Afterwards I said "you know... it's amazing how much parents lie to their kids" and it's true. So many parents lie to their children and all-in-all Screw up their kids. In many ways you are the way you are because of how your parents treated you. That's not to say it's always a bad thing.. sometimes it's great! But you mold your child into who they will become...and that scares the heck out of me!

I couldn't choose this for myself, as I love children. But, but, but... I have great respect for others who choose not to have kids & are careful not to. If you don't want them, don't have them. If you like them but don't want to be with them all the time ~ borrow your nieces & nephews... or hang out with friends who have kids! It's a huge responsibility & not for the faint of heart!

I feel much the same as you do. I always knew when I was younger that I definitely wanted to grow up and get married, and have a good relationship with a man, and have my pets, but I never thought too much about children. I like kids a lot and think they are sweet and funny, but I don't want them. My partner and I have both decided that we do not want them. The responsibility is too much, and the expense is even greater. If we know we do not want them, and we know we just want to be together, have lots of free time, enjoy life, read, travel and spend time with our pets, then why should we have them just to fufill some societal role? Now as a woman, I have received a large amount og flack from people who do not understand this concept, and think that I probably "can't" have them or that there is a fertility problem. It is just not the case. People need to understand that having kids is fine, but there is so much more to life than that. There seems to be a lack of understanding in general for those of us who do not choose to have kids. Anyway, I'm in my 30's, and I can say with the greatest of confidence that for me, choosing to not have kids is one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. I love the way my life is, it is very peaceful, and I am the master of my own time. There are many plusses to not having children but of course every situation is unqiue and individual.

I made the decision to not have children when I was 28 years old. I just knew that I had too much traveling to do with my life and it would not be fair to kids. As it turns it I made a good decision. I love kids and like being around them. I learn from them. But I need to return them to their "grounded" moms and continue my travels across the country. sunnywaters

I am still single and am not married but I do plan on having children. I guess the only problem for most is when rather than a question of not having them at all. Although these days, it seems that at most ages, everything still seems to early.

My sister's the same. She is 30 and has no kids, she is only interested in career, she's too self-centered to have children, it's good that she doesn't have them because she wouldn't be a very good mother. As for me; i never wanted kids but i got one, and she's beautiful! But 1 is enough for me, i do not want anymore! I was going to say to you that you may regret your decision as you get older, because when we are older we appreciate family more and enjoy having grandchildren, but you can always foster children or adopt. Maybe it's a good thing not to have any children, because this world is not a very safe and healthy world to live in.

I love children and I've always wanted a dozen of my own...well that's not possible considering my financial condition. But I have two and I am very happy. Having said that that doesn't mean everyone SHOULD have a child. It's a personal choice and if you are happy the way you are...then that's the best decision for you. There's no right or wrong in this matter. But you should never be forced to have a child if you do not want to. There's no point bringing a child into this world that you do not want. I'm glad you know what your priorities are and a wise decision based on that. There are many people in this world who realize that they don't want children after they've had them and that's so sad...for the parents as well as the child. I wish there were more people like you.

I don't have any kids. I never wanted to. I decided this at the tender age of 12. I never wanted a kid of mine to go through what I did as a child. Another reason as I got older was, I just couldn't afford one. I have always been on a very tight budget and I would not have had the money to raise a child. If you can't afford to, then you shouldn't have kids. Don't expect the government/tax payers to raise them financially. With the way the world is these days, I wouldn't want to bring a kid into a world of so much hate. I prefer fur babies, they are loyal and they love you unconditionally.

i am a woman and i belive that the essence of a woman is being mother...lol... funny but true..... i am turning 24 now, i have a loving partner, a job and working business but i still dont want to get pregnant yet.. we are planning for that but maybe it would take 2-3 years from now... but honestly i cant wait to see and have my child.... ^_^

I decided at 11 years old that I would absolutely NOT have children. In the 37 years since then, I wavered exactly once, for about 30 seconds. I simply do not have the temperament for the job. At all. I also dislike the concept of kids intensely. I understand that they are a necessary evil, and have to be protected and allowed to be children. I think people who hurt them are an abomination, it's hard enough to survive childhood. I have nice, reasonable relationships with most of the kids in my apartment bldg. I don't talk down to them, or expect them to know things they can't possibly have learned yet. I just don't enjoy their company for more than two minutes, that's all. If I had a kid, I'd never get away from them... yuck!

Perhaps nowadays the cost to have a child is very expensive. And people are busy with work and they have heavy working pressure and less spare time. So it is not an easy decision to have a child. You have to make sure that you are responsible and willing to sacrifice for your child forever. Then you can think about having a child.

Well I am a member of your 'childess' club too and have no regrets about my decision. Like you I knew early in life it was not part of my destiny to become a mother. My husband and I were married before we met and did not want children with our first spouses either. When my current partner and I met we talked about it and felt with our careers and unstructured entreprenearal lifestyle we could not be the kind of parents we think children need. Most of all ones...that show up and make their children their first priority. We work as group leaders, life coaches and public speakers. My hubby also does contract computer work and I am a free lance writer. Our work ebbs and flows and so does our income...and our work commitments change radically at a moment's notice. Even though we do not have children...we do have 2 big dogs and 5 cats that are part of of 'furry family' and add a lot to our lives. So I can appreciate the joy your dog brings to you. This absolutely satisfying lifestyle is great for us...but would not create the kind of emotional and physical stablity all children need. So, for us we believed that we've made the most responsible choice we could. Having said that we also live with the belief that "it takes a village to raise a child' and have belonged to the Big Brother/Big Sister organization and have mentored a number of kids over the years. That provides great satisfaction and is our way of giving to less fortunate children and hopefully adding something to their lives that is missing. So thanks for posting this topic...it show that childless individuals or couples know why we choose not to procreate and add to a growing global population and still live happy, fullfilled lives.

I am 39 now and I fully respect your decision not to have kids. Bear in mind you are not too old to change your mind, but I always used to see people with kids. A night out is a military operation, finding babysitters etc. I am far too selfish and I admit it - I love my life the way it is I can go where I want I can do what I want. I have settled for pets instead, they are loving and interesting but you can also still enjoy your life without wondering where they are and what they are doing.

Haha, because I'm 17. As for the future? Well, not at your age, but possibly later...