I say Why bother!
By ladylily29
@ladylily29 (323)
United States
August 25, 2007 9:00pm CST
I have to rant some.I have three kids,and alot of work at my home plus at my parents home,and I haven't been in good health for over a year now.And my man is a real ,well you know what at times,almost all the time.I cook a big supper like he wants, he is never home to eat any of it when it is hot, cause he is out hanging out at a pool room with his co-workers,and or he is out running around.One weekends he does the same thing, always has to go somewheres else .And I am never invited along unless I make it a point of inviting myself along.And he hates it.And if we do do anything together its going 4 wheeling with his co-worker buddies.And I am the only woman along most of the times.It is so blah!!!!!!!!After a while it isn't anything important to me.He is saying to me that I am hateful lately.He wonders why! I haven't had a adult night out or day out for fun in ages,I have all the responsibilities of our home and my parents.And I am talking gardens,canning,mowing,weedeating,and cleaning.It's everything.I am so tired by night time ,all I want is everyone to disappear and my bed appear.I want to be intamate,but he is either tired as well or sick with a toothach or something.I myself have been too tired or have a MI.headach from all the stress.What would you ladies do?And guys why would a man not stand up to the plate and help out.After all I even take care of his drunken dad when he needs me too.And I don't even get a thank you.
3 people like this
8 responses
@MzTiffany06 (203)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Gosh you sound like me. Sounds like the same situation I'm in only my husband knows I'm unhappy and doesn't care he is only worried about himself and where he will end up if I leave we are married but more like in a buisness deal more so than a marriage. I do everything including making sure the Bills are paid. Yes he puts the money in my bank acct to pay the bills and rent but thats all i get. Nothing more.. no love.. no appreciate... no consideration.. and god forbid i ask for anything like a haircut or clothes or anything of that sort. Hang in there!!
1 person likes this
@Jazz65 (22)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Ladylilly, I cant blame you for doing such hardwork in the house. For the same reason I quitely do the same thing as what you are doing but the difference is,I don't take care of a drunken dad and I dont weed eat the grass. There's just 3 people living in our house and it consist of my husband and my son. I do it for reasons that i want to do it myself and i enjoy doing it. I dont have a job right now and i think that is all i can do to keep me busy and that is the only thing i can do for my family. Well, if you are feeling tired of it why not spend some time off for yourself like going to beauty shops,treat yourself once in a while maybe that will help.
1 person likes this
@silkyt34 (324)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Ladylily.... i too have been where you are.. and its horrible but its time to stand up to him .. dont mow the grass... let him do it when he comes home all tired and says why isnt it done well let me give you the list of things i have already done today.. and guess hwat i was paid.. nothing so guess who is gonna step up and do it or pay someone to do it.... and the next time you cook him a hot mael and he is at the pool hall hanging with his buddis.. leave it on the doorstep with a note.. hope you enjoyed your nice hot home cooked meal and hopefully the neighborhood dog will have found it before he gets there and eats it all, decide which night you want to be adult nigth and take it, i started doing a ceramic class for my adult night, do you have any brothers or sisters that live close? ask them to pitch in with your parents and how old are your kids? if they are over the age of 7 they can help with the dusting or pulling weeds in the garden .. put your foot down hun dont let them take advantage of you cause thats whats happening and believe me you are going to get madder and madder until you dont know what to do and end up in the hospital, start delegating the chores.. kids can do laundry and vacum and they can fill the dishwasher or even do the dishes.. i hope things start to get better for you hun.. it wasnt until i stood up that i realized just how much i was being used.. good luck
1 person likes this
@coolseeds (3919)
• United States
26 Aug 07
He does it because he can.
You do not have to do everything. You do it by choice. Does someone make you mow the lawn? I think it sucks that you are doing everything but you really don't have to do it all.
Pay someone to mow the lawn or let it grow. Make him mow it or let it grow.
Don't cook for him. You do it by choice.
Don't do his laundry. When he has no clean underwear or clothes he will get the picture.
It is a two way street.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I think you have become a doormat and forgot that you are a human being with needs of your own. If you love your husband I would make a point of kinda overlooking some of his needs like maybe not have supper on the table or maybe his laundry shouldn't get done. He is a big boy and also responsible for the stuff that needs to be done too....make a point of having to do some of it himself so he can find understanding in all that you do. Next time his drunken dad needs help have him do it! Start taking care of yourself!
1 person likes this
@math321 (14)
• Canada
27 Aug 07
I guess your not lucky because my dad cooks and does the stuff that my mother does and he also works a lot he sometime work 60 hour a week but it does it because then they pay a trip to somewhere else in the world and have a good time
so i think its not 100% of the men that are lazy and hate working ( I am lazy too and im a man but i work when i have to)
@abbamoney (66)
• Vietnam
26 Aug 07
i'm such an indifferent person. i say why bother whenever i don't want to continue a story, or find a story boring. i think there are many people in the same case as you, and... why bother... are you just trying to talk it out loud to feel better?
@stephanie55 (2)
• Canada
26 Aug 07
it seems to me that you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself for one and start getting your life in order
