My boyfriend is late, smells like purfume and is drunk.....
@sirensanssmile (3764)
Netherlands
October 26, 2006 4:53pm CST
He came home over 2 hours late and he was a bit drunk. When he grabbed my face to kiss me I smelled perfume on his hands. I pulled away and told him that he smelled like perfume. He just looked at me and said that he didn't. I am rather irritated and looking for opinions. It could be anything since it is on his hands, but I am not sure.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@bhbirdie6 (1765)
• United States
26 Oct 06
It could have been a really flowery hand soap. They have a lot of those now. If you are seriously doubting him you could consider hiring a private investigator. If he's innocent they'll be nothing to find. If he's not then you're better off knowing.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
26 Oct 06
Handsoap is a possibility. I didn't think about that. I may just get a little nosey with his things.
@countessta (35)
• United States
26 Oct 06
honestly being an ex exotic dancer...it sounds like he might have been in a strip club and touching dancers. They tend to wear fragrances a little on the heavy side at times.
Might be something harmless. :)
@ArsonCuff (3114)
• United States
27 Oct 06
my very first thought was strip club..ha
I don't think this sounds like to horrible a situation...just his hands smelling like perfume...if they smelled like tuna then I'd be a bit more concerned.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
26 Oct 06
Yes I used to do something similar to that (Burlesque) as well. There really aren't any clubs like that here though. After I posted this I went and sniffed his neck, hair and clothing but it was only on his hands and the lower arms of his shirt. I don't know.
@indiandevil (2410)
• Canada
26 Oct 06
Someone told me this once,
If they are coming home to you at night, chances are they are not cheating.
If he is going out with friends and drinking, getting high or whatever, and even if hes a few hours late but hes coming home to be with you, he is thinking of you and most likely not cheating.
Most guys I know who do cheat, hang out in bars, they get drunk and or high, and don't even think to call there partners, they usually, find a women and go home with them or to a motel, or another club, there wives or girls don't even see them till sometime the next day.
They don't call or anything.
If he is going out with his buds, parting, and coming home and kissing you, and tring to get you in the bed...I doubt he is cheating...and the "perfume" you are smelling, could really just be some funky soap the club has....if it was a womans perfume, that he was cheating on you with the smell would be everywhere on him not just his hands.
For all you know it could be just something the waitress, was wearing and somehow got onto him, through innocent transfer...
Take it for me, if you jump all over him and keep accusing him of cheating...he will get tired of being accused of something he isn't doing and will actually just go and do it...
I would just sit back and see, if hes got all these girls calling, or he's talking on the phone in secret then I would worry but not until then
@indiandevil (2410)
• Canada
27 Oct 06
we all overreact sometimes, and thats how I got the advice I just told to you, I over reacted because somethings seemed to me as if my man was cheating and it turned out I was just thinking he was when he actually wasn't. Sometimes it is hard to trust someone, esspecially if you have been hurt in the past, but since I have learned that I have to trust my man because he never gave me any reason not to. He's usually always home, tells me where he is going, and leaves the numbers in case I wanna call. Plus sometimes if he's late and he can get to a phone he will call other times he explains why he is late and I take his word for it...
Its all about trust....
@timmeh0910 (1168)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Wow great response, I see where your coming from too, I agree completely.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
27 Oct 06
Yeah. I know what you mean. I didn't confront him per say.... I just told him that he smelled like perfume and that was it. When I read your comment it makes me feel like a freak even more because I did over react (For the first time in my life) and he isn't even doing those things.... like constantly being out with friends or being out late and stuff.
Thank you for making me think. :)
@mandakat (879)
• Canada
27 Oct 06
I think that generally when I think my boyfriend smells odd (he has like 15 colognes and aftershaves and switches bath products all the time so I don't have a smell I'm 'used to' but we weed out the ones I don't like) ... I tend to say something like what you said, and he'll respond with "really? I don't know why I would" and then we'll figure out what mix of whatever he was wearing that day was, and whether I like it or not.
If he just basically said "no I don't." then that's weird... not really a logical answer, you know?
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
28 Oct 06
Yeah not a very good answer and didn't help anything of course. I would think he would mention soap or that he didn't smell anything but he is like that sometimes.
@Mahindan (563)
• Canada
27 Oct 06
I don't mean to be rude but it seems that, you have thought the worst when he got late and on top of that with the perfume on his hand, it made you doubt him. I would always go with the instinct.If you feel it is necessary to go further then go ahead, if you are not sure let it go. It might just be an innocent thing.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
27 Oct 06
Yeah it could be that. I admit Ithink I over reacted. It wasn't really the late part that initially got me thinking it was the purfume, then the late part came back to my mind and so forth.... it snowballs you know? lol I agree with you though.
@Jotunheim (169)
• Denmark
26 Oct 06
Still... Beeing 2 hour late and getting drunk is not very kind to a partner.
Atleast tell him never to do that again.
@pussywillow (718)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Oh, come on! You know perfume when you smell it. Why doubt what you know just because he tells you it's not so? Of course, he's going to lie abou it. But just add things up. He was waaay late, he had been drinking and he smelled like perfume. 1+1+1 does equal 3! If I were you I'd be more than irritated, I'd be mad as hell and I'd be looking for another boyfriend.
@bfa731 (409)
• United States
26 Oct 06
In my opinion I think you should give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Just because you smell a flowery smell on his hands could mean a lot of different things other than him being with someone else or anything like that. However, if you continue to find similar behavior I would start getting nosey.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
27 Oct 06
Oh, I think you are right. I think I am over reacting. This would be the first time I ever over reacted like this and I was thinking about this same thing last night after I got offline. I will just relax and if I do see something else than i'll worry about it. :) Thank you.
@denax1 (708)
• United States
28 Oct 06
It's hard to say. You don't want to jump to conclusions. It's best to talk to him and tell him of your concerns. See where it goes from there.
@newmama412 (590)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I agree with sndcain. If your gut tells you he's messing around, then he probably is. I would be VERY snoopy. Who did he go out with? Are they single? Where did they go? Sorry you're having to deal with this. good luck
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
26 Oct 06
My gut betrays me at the moment because it isn't telling me either way. I started wondering because of his hands and that he was drunk. Partially because he rarely ever drinks and he was supposed to be at a work function. (They do drink at work functions at his company. However he told me it is tacky to him.) Then after I smelled his hands I started to think about him being over 2 hours late.... it snowballs.
@deeds14 (815)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Do you trust him? I'm not talking about this incident in particiular, but in general, do you trust him? If not, don't be in the relationship. You could be with someone you trust who treats you great. Me personally, I would say "See ya!" to this guy and find someone who wasn't so sneaky.
