i need to vent

Well that is just terrible, and Im sorry to hear that. Im sure that he is just saying it in a joking way and you just have to tell him in a calm and rational way that you dont like when he makes comments like that. Im sure he doesnt realize that he is coming across like that. And if he is doing it on purpose, then he needs a reality check of what you do all day long dealing with 2 small children as well as work outside the home. Im not working at the moment and Im lucky to have a wonderful man who doesnt get onto me about not doing things around here on a daily basis. If you dont resolve this with him you will end up resenting him and things could go from bad to worse.

It in not easy to be the one to stay at home and take care of the kids and mind the housework. The only excuse that I could give to your husband's attitude is that he doesn't really understand what you are going through everyday. Most of the time, husbands thinks that it is not exhausting nor demanding to be at home and be with the kids. What I did with my husband for him to realize that its not easy and that I am just not lazy was to let him take care of our only child at that time all by himself while I went somewhere else. I also explained to him that he just have to humor me on insisting on him having such experience instead of me telling him over and over that it is not easy. For him to understand my situation then he has to experience it. After that, he learned his lessons and have started helping me around the house to the point that he is already the one doing the laundry during weekends and cooking in the morning so that I could have some more sleep. whenever he is in the house, he does the housework while I mind the kids.

First of all keeping the house in order is not the only prerogative of woman at home. Man also can join in the process to keep up the house. Also, the responsiblity of the family for husband is not over if just earns the bread and come home for all enjoyment, particularly when 2 kids are produced without much time-space between them. Only those women who bear children know the difficulties. Thanks for sharing.

That wasn't nice of him. First of all, being a good wife doesn't mean keeping the house spotless either, it's more like being a good housekeeper. Did you tell him you thought he was being insensitive? Because he's just as capable as you are of washing dishes, and wouldn't he rather you pay attention to the kids?

I am always angry if I heard a husband did verbal abuse to his wife. I find that most husbands are not grateful to a wife. They think they can say whatever that comes first in their mind. I personally think husbands with loud mouth should be treated with a loud mouth treatment too. I will be sarcastic and throw back bad words to him, if I were you. Make him realize that what he said hurt your feelings. I think you should stand for yourself and make a point to your husband never to look down on you after this. Take care, and god bless you.

He must come across some disappointing things. You may communicate with him.It's normal between couples.harmonious relationship is precious.forget it.You're a couple.

That was a very insensitive thing for him to say. My ex used to make that type of remarks like that to me quite often, and at the time I was working between 24-36 hrs per week depending on the week, plus had five kids ages 8 and under. You need to let him know how you feel. If it continues you will end up resenting it just as much as I did.

Hi happy2bmommy, Wow, I think someone needs to learn what it means to be a Mom.. Does he ever help out? (I know, dumb question, very few men help out) Have you guys ever tried some counseling? Sometimes having a professional to speak on your behalf can help your husband see that you are not a maid. Or even a friend that he will listen to,,,

Sorry to hear what you had to under go, and it happens to most of us at times. Guess, we being moms have to bear the brunt of the house, husbands and work as well, as we are thought to be super-moms. I can very well understand what you are under going, as this happens to those mothers who really do care, yet they arent even given a little credit for the efforts they put into raising the kids and keeping a house running. Husbands take us for granted that we are supoosed to do these things, no matter what, without even offering a helping hand, leave alone a hearing to what we may have to say regarding the day we had, what all we faced, how we dealt with things. They always want to be heard, and make us hear their talks and thoughts instead. No one realises what all you under go through out the day, how you manage the kids, bring them up, what all you have to do to keep the house clean, to the utmost you can, you try your level best, but its never enough for husbands, as they will always find faults, no matter what you may say or feel. When we suffer, we suffer alone, and we have to bear up things as well, which of course we dont and either we just shut up or cry out or then if things become too tough, we walk out. That kind of understanding, love, affection is missing, in the partner we want. What is required is that they appreciate whatever little job we are managing to do, admist such a tight scheule of ours, give us a little credit for raising the kids, nearly sinlge handedly, and managing the house. We just want a little love, understanding, hearing us out and appreciation for the efforts. I am lucky that i have a life partner whose always by my side and appreciates whatever i may do, and hes always a helping hand around the house, and with the kids too.

Wow, that was rude of him!!!! I always compare myself to a daycare.... as long as my kids have meals, snacks and a somewhat clean (not necessarily tidy) place to play, then you are all set. I can relate to your story very well on the grounds that I'm a stay at home mom and that are children are very close in age. I too feel that I'm at home to help them and watch them, not be a maid. But unlike you, I am lucky that my hubby knows this. It's a shame he can't see the bigger picture about how much you are helping you sons. I hope you get this all straightened out. Good luck.