Disciplinary Actions for a 10 Year Old!???

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Ok, so my son is 9, will be 10 next month. He's in 4th grade this year and we're running out of options as far as Discipline goes! We're not sure what to do anymore and I could really use some advice from other parents who experienced the same kinds of issues with their child and what they did to help them. Our main is issue with him is negativity. He refuses to do his school work, he throws fits in class, he lays his head down and refuses to listen. He chooses not to participate in class and takes a 0 for the day. He calls me nearly everyday telling me that he has to stay an hour after school as punishment for his actions. He disrespects me and only listens to my husband, who of course is gone all day at work. Here's what we've tried: We've been working on positive reinforcements; telling him he can do this, telling him that he's smart and capable of learning. Telling him how proud we are of him when he does a good job and completes his work. We even started a chart where he would get a check for everyday that he did well, and an X for every day that he didn't. And if could get 5 checks in a week, than he could choose an activity to do over the weekend, whether it be rent a movie of his choice, or rent a game to play, or choose a family board game to play...etc. But that just didn't work, he could never get the 5 checks in a week. So we've tried grounding, taking things away and telling him he had to earn the thing or priviledge back...and that doesn't work either. It's like he'd rather just do without what he lost, than work to get it back. SO, I've been talking with his principal and teacher and thought of a reward system...that involves play money. Whenever he completes his work, or does something good, or expected of him, he would be "paid". And then whenever he disrespects either us or his teachers, or does not do what's expected of him, he will have to pay money. The money can be used towards his reward of choice. Nothing too extravagant...but reasonable. I don't know, I'm just so frustrated. It just feels like no matter what we try to do, he just keeps slippin further and further!