Friends
By candy111
@candy111 (240)
Philippines
August 31, 2007 7:15pm CST
How important is it to you to have a lot of people on your friend's list here? What determines who you choose to be a friend? Do you actually find out more about a person before you approve or deny them? Have you actually denied someone and if so, why?
As a newbie, i haven't really requested to be added to the friend's list of others, but have actually gotten some requests from others, and I just approve them all. Should I be careful when I do this or is there no harm to just approving anyone?
3 people like this
7 responses
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
1 Sep 07
I have this system that I have been working on for months to pick my freinds by. So far it's working great for me, but it could change as I find ways of improving it.
1) I go to their profile
Everything in here is where I will make my decision from.
2) I look to see what posts of mine they replied to.
IMO a great offer to show one wants your friendship is to at least post to one of their discussions before sending out an invite. Ok if they have not I am “ify” at this point.
3) I look to see what posts of theirs I replied to.
If they have not replied to any of my posts, I see if I replied to one of their and is that why they are sending me an invite. If I have not, then I decline. If one of two has happened, I move to step 4
4) I look to see how many friends they have.
If they have more friends than posts or have over a 150, this screams spammer to me, and I will not accept them for this reason. If looks fine I go to step 5.
5) I check how long they have been a member.
New members come and go within a month to two months time. So I will not accept anyone less than 3 months of being a member. This just saves me from removing so many inactive members from my list later. If they meet this one, I move to step 6
6) I read what discussion they have started and how often.
This is tricky, if they post too many posts in a days time, I won’t accept because that means there are here for points only, but if they only post once in a blue moon I won’t accept either because then they are not very active members. So it’s got to be a good amount. Then I look to see if I have any interest in what they post. If not, no since in wasting their time or mine, I decline.
That is it. I have learned to be very picky over friends. For two reasons, one some will spam the fire out of me and two I respond to them first, so I don’t want to waste time searching through posts to find something to reply to.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
1 Sep 07
Ah I am glad I could help. I love helping the newbies. When I started it seemed like us newbies that are now helping you, didn't have anyone to help us and we were relying on each other. Since we know how hard it can be to catch on to the tricks and tips here, we love helping others that are in the same boat we were once upon a time.
BTW
? ? ? Thank you for Best Response! ? ? ?
1 person likes this
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
2 Sep 07
You're welcome! You deserved it. If there was a bulletin board here for "Tips for Mylot", what you wrote would definitely have a place there. Not many may agree to what you said, but its a very systematic approach to what I had brought up as an inquiry. Like me as I said, for now it doesnt mater so much, but when the time comes that I would need to weed out my friend's list, then this post of yours will definitely be worth several more glances.
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
1 Sep 07
Wow! Even with this you are so efficient. Ive only been on here for roughly a little over 2 weeks, I'm not even sure anymore. I just noticed I had been getting a few requests and frankly I didn't know what to make of it. However, what I did do was to turn on the notify for the users that I recalled had replied to my posts, or I had replied to them.
Maybe when I get to stay here long enough that I will have to start screening all of this, I'll refer back to your system. Its really very well thought of, actually I never expected someone to actually be doing something like that. I guess being a newbie here, I havent realized how exponentially the growth rate can possibly be here. I suppose even if you just write 20 posts per day, and you get to know more and more people and see what each of your friends are posting, as you said, in 9 months or so, it can get to really be a lot.
I noticed there are a few like you that reply to a lot of the posts on mylot especially newbie's questions. I'm glad to see people here that share their knowledge of this entire thing, the what to do and what not to do.
Makes it easier for us to immerse ourselves faster and to enjoy what this site really is intended for (other than money).
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
2 Sep 07
First of all I will look at the persons Profile, If they are too young I will deny them, that is just me, we half to be on the same level. Yes it is good to get a lot of friends, I am just picky!
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
2 Sep 07
My experiment seems to be going Ok. I did make more money, I use to make 2 to 3 cents a day, that because I wasn't trying hard enough, really I don't have the time to be on here, that much, but I can see a difference, in my earning this morning. so it worked out fine for me. I half to do this thing more often. Yes I am picky about friends. Have a nice Week-end!
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
2 Sep 07
How is your experiment going? I'm such a friggin newbie, hahaha I lost track and cant seem to find that discussion thread you started yesterday. I'd love o find out what the final outcome of that.
Well, I suppose in all practicality, you have to treat this site just as how you would act in real life. In real life we choose who shall be our friends, so should it be here. Though I suppose its a bit more lenient here.
Why I brought this up, is because I believe we should treat this the same way, meaning, respect people's opinions here as you would if in fact one knows how to act socially appropriate.
With friends, be choosy or picky, doesn't matter, better that and really take care of the ones you have rather than to just become friends with anyone, sort of lessens the meaning of friends.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Sep 07
I guess it's not important to me to have a LOT of people, but it is important to me to have some GOOD people. I do actually have way more people on my friend's list than I can reasonably talk to all the time, but some of them are inactive or don't seem to reply to me either, so I don't worry about it too much. There is a small group of people here that I consider to be "actual friends" just like my offline friend, and I cherish them very much. =)
The only people I have denied are people who I saw spewing hatred and intolerance. There was one guy who asked me to be his friend right after I had been on a discussion where he was being really bigoted, and I just couldn't accept him. It was crazy to me that he would even ask, considering how rude he had been to me in the discussion.
I don't send friend requests that often actually, though I get a lot. Once in a while I'll send one to someone if I see myself responding to a lot of their discussions, or if they respond to a lot of mind. Once in a while I'll send a friend request because I feel an instant connection with someone, and those are usually the people that become my "actual friends".
1 person likes this
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
2 Sep 07
Sometimes I do wonder whether people intend to be rude, or one has to consider the person's grasp of the english language which may explain why a person can possibly come out rude unintentionally? But of course that is always judgment call. I don't mind when people share completely opposite ideas from mine, as long as they respect what I have to say and I will respect theirs.
Perhaps that person found your conversation stimulating to the point he got overzealous? I wasn't there so like I would know.
I just noticed that sometimes, even I can be biased, with regards to how a person writes. Coming from a country where english is not the primary language, I should be used to it. Alas, as much s I would want to reply to their posts, I sometimes cannot comprehend the post fully and end up not wanting to offend a person because I had totally misinterpreted his reply.
My hats off to people like you though, and a few others that I have been lucky enough to have corresponded with especially with all my newbie questions. People like you are what makes sites like this become successful. In a way you can even say there's a personal "touch"
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
2 Sep 07
In this case the person was actually intentionally being rude, beyond any doubt. I don't mind if people disagree with me either, but he said something that just completely crossed the line. There are certain kinds of bigotry and intolerance that I just can't deal with, I guess. I do try to be nice even to people who disagree with me, but there gets to a point where I'll just leave a discussion rather than risking becoming angry and being rude in return.
You have a good point about the language barrier issue though, and I try to be conscious of that as well. I've also found that some English words seem to mean very different things in different cultures, so that's another thing where maybe people don't understand they're being offensive, or even where I've confused others because I didn't realize that the term I was using was used in a different way where they lived.
Thanks so much for all your kind words! I do love helping people whenever possible, and it's especially nice to see new people who are making quality discussions. It's so often that I'll go look at "discussions by new users" and just can't find anything I want to reply to even though I want to support new users. So it's great to find a new person that's actually starting discussions I can be interested in. =)
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
1 Sep 07
These are the three things that I consider when adding a friend: 1) I replied to their discussion, 2) they replied to mine, or 3) we share the same interests. I don't find out anymore than what I've listed.
When I first joined I actually denied a few people. But that was before I knew what it meant to be a friend on here. :P Now if someone wants to be my friend I hit the approve button every time. :)
1 person likes this
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
1 Sep 07
I'm not so particular of the request of some friends here in mylot...I always approve them. There's nothing wrong if I don't know them personally...what is important is that I can always give my responds to nice discussions.
1 person likes this
@ashsumi (29)
• India
1 Sep 07
what i feel is ...its not important how long ur friends list is...but its really important to have few friends on whom u can trust and confide all ur feelings....and about choosing a friend....it really depends upon people.....some make friends fast and easy...others are choosy...but i feel that approving friends without knowing anything about them is not a good practice....
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
2 Sep 07
Now that you have mentioned it, I'm trying to think what possible harm there is here at least, to approve friends that you don't know anything about? Only harm I can see so far is that if you do approve them and they star harassing your discussion topics, or if you tell them some personal details like where you live, your real name, etc.
Unless I am missing something?
@Opteron (1842)
• Italy
1 Sep 07
Usually I add to my friends list all who wants to be my friends! I have thousand people in my list and I believe there's nothing wrong in doing this! Don't worry and begin adding people here! :-). The only people is that I have too many people asking everyday to be my friend! Now I got about 200 friendship requests to reply to...It's time consuming!
