Do you EXPECT your family to help you just because your family?

Your sister is not a minor, is she? So she must be able to take care of herself. Well, it depends on what exactly she wants you to help her with but if she remembers you only when she needs you, she does not deserve help. I also have relatives, who are always trying to use me, despite that I frequently give them the kick. And I am personally pissed off when I hear that I have to stand them because they are cousins and aunts. I just say that it is not my fault they they happen to be my relatives - I did neither choose them, nor ordered them from a catalog, so why should I tolerate them? :)

to be honest with you,I do not expect.because I have been grown up as an adult.so if they continue to support me in finance ,then I will feel ashamed.but unfortunately,in fact till now I still spend their money to continue my school.

Your sister needs to stand on her own two feet. And be realistic about what you can ask a 60 year old woman to do, as well. My family is very close. We see each other a lot. But if I just expected them to do things for me, I would quickly receive many lectures on independence and being grateful. Of course they will help if I need help. But I can't just take them for granted. And I have to show up when they need help, which lately I haven't been good about, because I've been really busy.

I always feel bad asking for help from anyone even family. I'm not sure why but that's just how I am. So no, I don't expect it from anyone. However, I do get ppl expecting things from me all the time and I have a hard time telling them no. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

There should be no lines between families and its members i feel. Whatever the differences were or are, i think you all need to sit, talk and reslove them. Maybe shes hurt about something, maybe shes of this quiet nature right from start, you all would know that best. And whom else would a person expect things from, if not ones family. And you all should become one, and help her out in her crisis, and i think whenever you have any problems , she will also come forward and help you all out. Of course we should all be self sufficient and not expect anything from anyone, but when we need help, we have only the family to turn to, or maybe some good friend, which are rare to find too. So, drop all your differences, go out and help her out, she will also remember this and come forward when you need her. And your mom may not be able to do much, but she can surely comfort her with loving and caring words, at times, those help a lot too.

Well, that all depends. In your situation, I don't think your sister should expect your mum to help her. For me, I don't always need my family to help me, I would mostly take care of myself alone:) But when I am mentioning comfort that I need when I feel uncomfortable or sad, I do wish my family could give me a hand there. WBR, Andy

If she does not talk much and not having good relations, this is the time you should go out and help her. No matter as to who has to help and who has to keep away is not the question. After all she is your sister and if she has made a mistake, you put her to shame by going out of the way to help her. This will enable you to have a good relations which are important in life. No one knows when you need help!!

Most of my family is like that and when the the 3 or 4 of us that don't take it from them say no they freak and talk about how they are family. We have always tried to help but after about the third time we start saying no because we usually can't do whatever it is they want(usually money). Your mom should maybe talk to your sister and explain to her that shes not 20 anymore and she cannot be expected to these types of things especially when its not appreciated. It sounds like it's not appreciated since your sister doesn't talk to your family unless she wants something. She's using her famly and that's not right. I really hope your family can get this worked out cause that's not how family should be. I know I wish my family would just be nice to everyone but it doesn't always work that way.

Hi there. Im like that, I dont expect anyone to do for me either, especially my family... I know they would offer there support and always try to help, but I dont depend on them, because I like to do things for myself... Im quiet the independant person... I think when a person reaches that age of moving out of home, and holding down a job, having children etc, living, then thats when they should be able to stand on there own two feet, some people stand on there own two feet well before this... I dont think a 60 year woman should be out there moving another person who is young, fit and well enough to do so on her own, of be capable of hiring help else where... Have a great day...

Not always. Most time I would manage things together with my wife, but if needed we would pay for somebody to help us. We don't want to make our old parents tired. They are old and need to have a good rest at home.

Of course I expect my family help me .My family want me best one so they help me to be that. If they can't help me by money they help me by promoting

Seems like she is just doesn't want to pay a moving company. I fell she is being unfair. Your mom shouldn't have to be subjected to help her move, she already has her place. If she really wanted you guys to help her she should offer some incentive, just like if she was hire a company. You are right you have to draw the line. And what good a time as to do it now?

I think that at some point, one has to start taking responsibility for themselves. It's nice for family to help, but sometimes they just can't. As an adult, you're supposed to be able to be mostly independent. Some people never learn that, though; I have an aunt, on my Mom's side, who exemplifies this. She's living in a house that her stepfather owns and is renting to her for a very low amount per month. Despite this, she's months behind in paying rent at any given time because she thinks she doesn't "really" need to pay him. Instead of turning to her husband when she has financial troubles, she goes to her mom and stepfather, who she otherwise ignores. Her kids are, of course, learning this from her--it's really unfortunate.

i think that it depends on culture too.while in the south east asian countries it is understood that family members are to 'help' each other every time and stand by the family.while if you are western it is not so. but i think that the entire thing rests on you.if want to help your sister in that particular given work you can do it voluterily if not be open and tell her that you cant possibly do that job.

No, i prepare that they do care for me because they love and care for me as a person and not just because i am their family,if things go like that then how am i suppose to live away from my family like in other country?think about can you live in other country without even a single family with you?i do..

I think its a totally volunteering thing....not something to be expected. And if someone doesn't want to help or is busy that shouldn't be held against them! She must be a little self centered.