Gossip in the Workplace
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
September 1, 2007 8:41pm CST
While at a client's home today, she commented about something regarding my personal life that one of my coworkers had share with her. I felt that this was inappropriate to have a coworker gossip about another coworker, especially to one of the client's that our agency services. I was livid.
The client was persistant and tried to dig deeper and I cut her off and changed the subject. If she starts in again tomorrow I am going to tell her that to stop the prying as it is really none of her business. I refuse to discuss matters of my personal life with my client's.
Now, I do tell funny stories, happy times, etc., but do not offer up serious conversations regarding myself or my family.
I will be speaking with my supervisor on Tuesday. I am angry at this coworker for speaking to my client's regarding my personal life. If this matter isn't dealt with properly, I will be searching for a new job and will resign when I find something else.
This of course troubles me deeply to have to even think of leaving this job. I really enjoy it.
8 people like this
23 responses
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
2 Sep 07
I hope you don't have to leave your job over this. A simple hint to your coworker or comment to your supervisor ought to straighten things out with your coworker. I find it funny that the client kept trying to find out personal information - that was a bit rude of her.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I do not know who the coworker is that started this. But, I do know that it won't take a scholar to figure it out once the supervisor views the schedule.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Sep 07
I hate gossip, I was a victim some years ago when I was working when a former best friend told lies about me and had half the work place not talking to me, I couldn't understand why people were so cool to me, until someone told me what was going on, people are so willing to believe things that they don't even know the truth about fortunately my ex friend got found out...
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
2 Sep 07
I understand that some gossip goes on in the workplace, but when they start with gossiping about you to the client's that you serve, I am appalled.
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
2 Sep 07
That would have me ticked off as well and I don't blame you at all. That co-worker needs to really get out here and get a life so she can have something interesting to say about herself instead of needing to run off at the lips about other people. I would go to the supervisor over this as well. You are going to have to keep us posted as to what happened.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
2 Sep 07
It is your coworker, Elusive, that should be looking for a new job! She crossed the line when she decided to discuss your personal life with a client. That is inappropriate and grounds for dismissal. I hope that your supervisor will know the right thing to do in this situation. You should not be forced to leave your work that you so much enjoy due to a coworker's loose lips.
2 people like this
@mollylh (78)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Hello. Don't you hate looking for another job? But what has to be, has to be. Your principles are at stake here, Elusivebutterfly. You must follow through with your instincts and don't lose your integrity.
As a matter-of-fact, I turned in my two-week notice last Tuesday when the new manager who has been at this fast growing company three weeks stated I could go faster, that my ninety day probation was approaching, etc. This was Monday, so Tuesday I turned in my resignation to my supervisor, stating that I could not go faster and the workload is not going to get any lighter. I have given this company 100%, but it is not enough for this person, so I will live off credit cards again until I find something better. You will find something better, don't think you won't, Elusivebutterfly. You are a very professional and mature individual that would be a great asset to any organization. Do not lower your standards for the almighty dollar. I know that's easier said than done, but you are the one that has to live with yourself.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Jobs are so few and far between that I would be hard to find one if I quit. I am keeping my options open. I have decided not to attend any social functions sponsored by my employer. Why bother. I don't feel the need to socialize with people who are hell bent on bringing me down.
@Cammeel1 (372)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Hi Elusive :)
I was sorry to hear that this happened to you. It is such a shame when we think that we can trust someone and they let us down like that. I had a similar experience a few year ago and the worst part was that is negatively effected my relationship with my patient. I foolishly trusted this same person again and later on she did the same thing. I learned my lesson the hard way. I hope that this co-worker of yours realizes her lack of judgement and apologizes for it. Hopefully this client of yours will let this go and nothing more will come of it. It is so hard leaving a job that you enjoy when it is so unnecessary.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I doubt I will receive an apology from the person involved. I am certain that I will receive one from my supervisor. As of yet, I still haven't truly decided if I will leave the agency or not.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
4 Sep 07
They should not have done that, although maybe the didn't think it was a big deal and was bringing up conversation. If you get along with the coworker, maybe you should just talk with her. Maybe she is one that will share things that others like to keep private and did it harmlessly.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I am going to suggest to my supervisor that this person not lose their job because of this. They should be spoken to regarding it though. I would also like an apology.
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
3 Sep 07
A worker who will not keep matters confidential about a coworker is also liable to breach confidentiality about a client that they are serving. If they know something personal about you then they should keep it to themselves. Gossip is never professional, and if it goes too far it is in violation of HIPPA laws. I am going to guess that the boss with probably reprimand them verbally.
1 person likes this
@friendship (2084)
• Canada
2 Sep 07
I hate gossips in the workplace. Some gossips or rumors are very harsh and it may affect other's life especially if all your coworkers believe in it. I usually don't believe in rumors. I just hear about it but don't ever try to convince in me. I always think that people who do gossip, they don't have better things to do. I also believe in Karma. If you do gossip to one of your co-workers, someone else may also do the same to you. The office is also not a fun environment if your co-workers including your supervisors like gossiping in the workplace.
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
2 Sep 07
This is terrible. Some people can't help themselves but to gossip, but they really do need to learn that they need to learn to keep some things to themselves. Your coworker has no business discussing your personal life with your clients, and I hope that your supervisor will do something to correct the matter.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
If my supervisor does nothing about it, I am going to go over her head.
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
2 Sep 07
That is so unprofessional of your coworker to divulge such personal information about you to your client. This sort of thing should never have happened. It's a violation of your privacy, and also makes the place you work for look bad, to employ someone who is such a blabbermouth.Your coworker should be the one who looks for another job.
2 people like this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
2 Sep 07
This is very inappropriate. I would speak to your supervisor as soon as possible. I am very saddened that your co-worker could not keep what you told her confidential. It makes you wonder what she tells others about her clients. You shouldn't have to quit your job because of someone else. You may not be able to care for this person if she continues to ask you questions..I will be thinking about you..
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
2 Sep 07
The fact of the matter is that I never confided with anyone over the matter. The information was in the newspaper, but my name never mentioned. I am breathing and trying to find calm with this. The person who blabbed about me obviously doesn't give a fig over what grief she caused me.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
It hurt me to think that someone I work with could be so cruel as to bring up issues with a client that should not be spoken about.
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
3 Sep 07
She is just a very jealous person. She seems like someone who just wants to create problems but yet has alot of her own problems to weed through. I sure hope you are able to resolve this...People like her make me so mad..
1 person likes this
@LesJames77 (48)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Here's something I learned, a long time ago: Never, ever, ever say things to people, that you don't want repeated. This is a hard and fast rule with me, and I never break it.
It's inevitable that people are going to repeat a juicy story to the next person they meet. So, don't give them any amunition. Always keep your private life to yourself, no matter where you work. If you don't do that, you will be endlessly changing jobs.
It's often said that a person has two, separate lives: one in business and one at home. The two should never come together. When you're at work, just work. You can be casual and polite, but keep your personal life at home, amongst your family and close friends. Simple co-workers should never be a part of that.
All this leads to is grief (as it unfortunately has, for you) and in extreme cases, losing a good job that you really like.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I do not share information with people that they do not need to know. This goes for my coworkers and my clients. The person who started this obviously knows my family. That is what really irks me.
@ckriswa (11)
• India
2 Sep 07
Why should you think of leaving your job when somebody commented on the back of you. Don't give much importance to those who have talked behind you. You are not living for anybody. You are earning and living for your self. At the same beware of the person from who you have heard about the comments i.e your client. Because he should not have revealed the comment made by your coworker to you.
2 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
4 Sep 07
Gossip is so destructive. I have been a contributor and a victim and I have to say in my old age I really prefer neither. OUr employer pays us to work and to help promote a positive work environment. If we spend time contributing or listening to Gossip I guarantee we are not being positive or productive. We've all done it. I am no saint on this subject..BUT.... what I have learned is everytime I even think about talking our in gossip I get busted so I am thinking that is God's way of telling me to shut the heck up! and be careful what I say. I will be bad mouthing my boss and sure as heck he walks right in behind me. It happens time after time to me so I think that is my sign to just stop doing it LOL.
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
2 Sep 07
I think that your coworker should be dealt with in a sever way by your supervisor for doing this. This is harrassment not just gossip. Most work place human resource departments have policies in place in how to deal with these situations. If your supervisor doesn't deal with it to your satisafaction, go to your human resources department.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
2 Sep 07
I can also go over her head if it doesn't get resolved. There are 2 others above her.
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I'm sorry your coworker did that. People really shouldn't get into other people's business. But your client shouldn't have said anything about it to you either and she shouldn't have kept on being persistant about getting the info out of you. She should have just let it go in one ear and out the other. It's really none of her business about your personal life.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
2 Sep 07
This problemn of gossip is going to occur no matter where yiou work. Put a group of peopole together in one work site, & they are going to talk. Even in the professional organisations this happens. So don't resign or look for a new job. Speak to your boss, make it very clear to youyr co-workers that you will not tolerate this.
You are obviously setting an exampole yourself by not gossiping. Give it time, & many of your co-workers may be positively influenced by you.
Good Luck.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I do try to do things that would make the agency a better place for everyone. It is a non-profit organization. We serve many people. How does it look when one of the employees spreads gossip about another.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Sep 07
How disgraceful! Your co-worker needs to be dealt with severely. There are such things as privacy laws. As you say, this is extremely inappropriate behaviour. The client isn't much better either in my opinion.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I was stunned when the client brought this up. She wouldn't tell me who it was, but gave me a clue.
@kennedee (156)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
I hope that can be fix as soon as possible, but don't let other people affect you or your career. I know it's really hard knowing that other persons are telling stories about you and your life. Soon it will all just fade away and I also do hope your boss can think of a way to fix this. It's really sad if you will be leaving the work that you love just because of that. Prove them that you're a fighter and that they can't let you down whatever stories they made about you and your life.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I know that there will be something else to take the place of today's news. Thank you for your words of support. You are correct that I need to take a stand and prove that they can't wear me down. The only thing that people who spread gossip accomplish is proving to others that they can't be trusted.
