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in love with your best friend
Do you think it's possible to love your best friend, but hate them too?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
September 3, 2007 3:19am CST
Here's a question that I am sure we all face at one point or another. Is it possible to love someone with all your heart, whether romantically or friendship wise and still hate them at times. What if your best friend hated you, but still claimed to be your best friend? Do you think it's only human to have mixed feelings about the people we hold closest to our hearts?
One of my best friends has been going through a really rough time lately and I really do feel for him. He's been my best friend forever, but I don't seem to know what to do anymore to help him. He's going through changes that I can't understand and feeling things that I would have no way of identifying with.
And, for some strange reason, I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore. When I talk to my best friend about his feelings towards me, he says he still wants to be friends. But, his behavior is such that it makes me question if that is really true. He's acting in ways that he never did before. And, even he admits that he's acting strange. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps he secretly hates or resents me. It's a scary feeling, knowing that your best friend is slipping away from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
This is not a situation where I would simply want to throw away my friends. To me, true friends are not disposable. I want to fix the problem, if there is one. What would you do if it were happening to you? What would you do if you felt as if your best friend hated you, but you didn't want to let them go?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@sefnopre29 (143)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
you should really find out his true feelings. it maybe that his present situation is the reason why he is acting like that. i think he does not actually resents you maybe he just need a little space, give him time alone - don't call him or see him. he will realize then what is your worth. often times, we have too much of some things which result to overlooking them. if you are able to give this opportunity to him, i hope that you will still be there to welcome him back.
2 people like this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
3 Sep 07
That is such beautiful advice. I will try it. Perhaps I am clinging too tightly to someone that just needs some breathing room and time to think things over.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Sep 07
I think that it could be human with mixed feelings. I once had a good friend as well a colleague. We used to have lots of fun together. But later for some reason he started to say bad words against me behind my back and even sometimes didn't say hi to me when we met. The main reason is that I was valued my boss for some more important post. He didn't feel happy for that and said that he was ignored by the boss. However kind I was to him in the work, he didn't treat me as normal as before. Later we gradually became strangers and felt very awkward when meeting each other on the way. I felt a upset for this. It is all because of jealousy that spoiled our friendship. It is ok for me to let bygones be bygones.
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
3 Sep 07
One of my other friends treated me very much the same way. She wished me well to my face, even when I went into a competing business. And, she said she was fine with it. But, after awhile things got really weird between us and I knew she was plotting behind my back. It was just a feeling, but everytime I tried to associate with her, things did not work out. It ended quietly but definitely.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Sep 07
Life is such. We can always have some people of this kind who are your good friends but envy you and say bad words behind our backs. I am glad that you cooled the unpleasant affair between you and your friend. Thanks for your response, dear friend.
@CaitBaby (446)
• United States
3 Sep 07
In every relationship, whether it's your friend, family member, lover, or someone else, there is always some sort of love-hate relationship. And it's not actually "hate" but just anger or frustration. To me, it sounds like your friend is just really going through some serious stuff right now and because of that he's obviously not going to act like the same person you know. I've been there myself. I was having a lot of problems a while back and I wasn't acting like the same person at all, even to the people I was closest to. It's not because I had any resentment towards them but because I was mainly taking out my frustration on the people I was closest to. I think people do that because they know that no matter what they won't lose the people they love most. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Just try to take a look at things. Is he only acting differently towards you or is he acting that way with everyone? He may just need a friend right now, even if he is acting strange. Be there for him and eventually he'll be himself again. Best of luck to you!
@bumblinbetty31 (121)
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
Love and Hate are flipsides of a coin. In fact, with the exception of anti-socials who commit hate crimes, most people will only hate those that they have loved deeply at some point. Don't be so alarmed. It's ok for any relationship to have rough moments. If you were always happy and satisfied, then that's not a real relationship at all.
Try giving each other a break. Don't end the friendship, but stop calling him or meeting with him for a little while. Maybe your friend needs some time off to find himself. Assure him that you'll be there when he wants to talk to you again.
@rivergod40 (22)
• India
3 Sep 07
if u love some one, set them free
if they come back, they r yours..
if they dont,
they were never meant to be...
its tough...but then, u have to cross the bridge...and do u have any options?
