What would you do?
By sephrenia
@sephrenia (567)
September 3, 2007 10:32am CST
My daughter literally just went outside to play with a friend on the street (she's 8 and so is her friend). While they were out there, a boy we'll name johnny, who is 10 started swearing at them and chasing them until they ran into my house nearly crying from this boy scaring them.
When my husband stepped outside this boy started swearing at him too and saying he was gonna beat up my husband (hah! my hubby won gold medals for kickboxing so i doubt it) and that when we were asleep he was going to bomb my house and my daughter friends house and other things like that. Now my daughter won't go outside because she's afraid she will run into him and that he might carry out her threats.
I know that this boy has problems, his mother doesnt seem to care what he does although she has made excuses saying she cant seem to control him. He has two brothers, one of whom is halfway decent and the other who was in my daughters class. The one who was in my daughters class was thrown out for violent tendencies and he used to terrorise my daughter and her friends to the point where she fought me every day to not go to school. I also know that his father (when he's there) is in prison at the moment for drugs and violent behaviour. They are under the care of social services but obviously its not doing any good as the children would start behaving themselves, or so i would have thought anyway.
I would like to know what you would do about this boy and if you have any tips on reassuring my daughter that this boy wouldnt carry out his threat (he's already being watched by the police for other anti social behaviour so he cant risk being dragged off).
2 people like this
5 responses
@morsh8888 (633)
• Indonesia
5 Sep 07
The things that comes up from my mind are go to his mom and tell her to brings the boy to the church and tell the boy about hell and heaven. Also said to his mom, "Do you want your boy ends up like your husband ?". A good mom will always take their child to walk a good way. If she still saying 1,000 of excuses. Just tell her how you be a mother to your son.
I think if we have trouble with children, we have to go to their parents.
@sephrenia (567)
•
5 Sep 07
That's a really good idea and I thank you for thinking of it but He isn't allowed within 100 feet of the local church because I and another parent told the vicar that if he wasn't removed, we would take action to ensure that his congregation started failing to turn up.
The reason we were so harsh is because he and his brother one day while at sunday school, grabbed pieces of a broken bottle and threatened to slice both my daughters and the other womans childs necks. The church actually called the police so that we didn't have to (plus there were far too many witnesses for him to deny it) and thats when the police started watching him rather than just cautioning him.
The mother is a waste of space to be perfectly honest. We've all tried really hard to talk to her about her sons behaviour but all she does is sit and whine about how hard it is with her husband in prison and the social services wont help and whatnot and to be frank, we're sick of hearning the excuses from her.
We're really at our wits end! Thankfully he didn't act on his threat but im not so sure that one day in the future he will leave it alone and maybe some poor so and so with no clue is going to get the brunt of it :(
1 person likes this
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
4 Sep 07
I would report him. if he is being watched by the police allready then he defenatly has some troubles to be worried about. I would be verry concerned about the threats he is making, so defenatly report him. good luck to you.
2 people like this
@sephrenia (567)
•
4 Sep 07
Hi Ladybug, Thankyou for replying to this, I'm going to contact his social worker as I happen to know him through the school and tell him what he's up to. I was also thinking of trying to take the kid aside and talking to him, not to scold him (as much as I want to!) but to try and get him to see that threatening and attacking others just isn't on at all.
I'm not sure about reporting him to the police just yet, there's part of me that wants to but I want to try and do some good with him. I think if someone just listened to him and gave him some boundaries he might respond to it. Granted I know it might (well probably) not work but I figure it may be worth a shot, what do you think?
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
4 Sep 07
Hi seph! While I was reading your discussion I was thinking to myself "Whew! It isn't just the kids in my area!" I had a situation similar about a month ago, although not as severe as what you are dealing with. I hate to say it but your best bet would be to call the police, and social services. It's apparant this kid has some serious issues. I commend you for thinking that maybe if you talked to him and let him know there were boundries it would be helpful, but with the record it sounds like this kid has already I don't think it would do much good.
I don't think you should stand back and allow your daughter to be terrorized like this. report him, even if it hurts to do so. You may just be saving lives down the road when this boy "snaps" and trys to shoot up a school.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
5 Sep 07
After reading all your responses to posts it made me think that the whole situation with this child and his mother is another example of how our social service system fails. My daughter just started 6th grade and I was shocked that there is police presence in the hallway! It was never like that when I was in school.
I know what you're saying about DCFS having it all backwards. I was investigated when I turned my ex husband in for assaulting my daughter. It was like "HELLO! I'm the one who reported it! I'm the one who took her and moved out of the home so it couldn't continue!"
Crazy world. I just hope these kids get the help they need before it's too late. Threatening to slit peoples throats outside a church is just horrifying.
1 person likes this
@sephrenia (567)
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5 Sep 07
I thought so too which is why we went nuts at the vicar, I apologised to him later but he could see the ncessity of our actions. I feel sorry for them in a lot of ways because so many people have reached out to help them and given them a ton of chances but all they do is react with threats and violence because it seems as though that's all they've known which is a really sad thing to contemplate.
I'm sorry to hear that you ran foul of the DCFS as well, they really couldnt find their own butts with a roadmap and an instruction book on mapreading lol
@sephrenia (567)
•
5 Sep 07
Thankyou so much for replying to my post :) I honestly thought that I was the only one with kids like this in my area! I realyl wanted to avoid reporting him to the police but what you said makes a lot of sense.
Maybe if he's stopped now with a brutal smack against a wall of reality, then he will stop being so much of a threat to others and might even become half decent like his older brother :)
1 person likes this
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
3 Sep 07
These children need help, they don't seem to be getting the counseling they require. It may sound cruel but I would make a complaint with the authoriities. If this chld does not get help soon he will go through life bullying everyone in his path. Sounds as if the whole family has violent behaviors, there is a saying: If a child sees violence, he has seen too much, I believe a child picks up the violent ways from his or her homelife.
@sephrenia (567)
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4 Sep 07
Thankyou for responding Kitty, I think you're right. The kids have seen too much already so they've come to see it as a way of life rather than the exception to the rule. I want to do something to help them to be honest but while they're threatening my kids, all I can do is try to look after mine.
1 person likes this
@acoen030805 (26)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I totally agree with what someone eles said as far as taking these boys to church and the mother too! Maybe if you put the fear of God into this young man he just might learn some healthier ways to release his frustrations.
As far a reassuring your daughter, Im not sure there is a way. Besides as we've seen countless times here in the USA when a youth makes a threat it shouldn't be ignored so easily because, unfortanatly sometimes they do follow through. And innocent people do get hurt!
Turn him into the athorities before it is too late. I am not trying to scare you or your daughter but it is better to be safe then sorry. I wish you the best!
Love your FTBU sister. God Bless!
1 person likes this
@sephrenia (567)
•
6 Sep 07
I'm going to see my Vicar today to see if he is willing to give the boy a chance and a way to try and help him out. I saw the other parent at breakfast club this morning and she's coming with me to talk to him. I think that if this last ditch fails, I'm just going to walk away and turn him in to any authority I can lay my hands on.
I feel rotten about it but i want him to be a better kid and I want mine to be safe
