have u come across this??
By aissha
@aissha (2036)
India
September 4, 2007 1:52am CST
i hv observed that there are people who are happy with their marriage but not very happy but marriage is too important to quit or something ,they don't even look for real people to flirt or hv an affair but they instead of looking for intellectual match for themselves and for this they turn to net in the form of chatting or some social network ? hav u come across.....
2 people like this
4 responses
@ydiwan (448)
• India
11 Sep 07
well marriage for me is a divine understanding which bonds two people in love with each other and understanding each other needs and being there and ready to sacrifice whatever it takes if it brings relief to your loved ones as for intellectuals well i think love cannot be reciprocated and felt with the mind one needs his heart in the right place to understand it and i think the community sites are a good place for the unmarried ones as it brings them face to face and allows them to match their likes and dislikes as for the married ones they should learn to keep the two values apart that is friendship in one scale and love and family in one. this is again my suggestion ayesha and it feels nice to be back on my lot
@aissha (2036)
• India
11 Sep 07
hi ydi i felt excellent u r back here ,good to see u and u know what u hv given a very god definition of marriage because even its a love marriage ,a question remains why only that person why not someone else,so yeah divine understanding because of divi9ne intervention,hows sam,i wrote few comments on ibibo but may be u also stopped.anyways stay here.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
4 Sep 07
Yes i have an ex sister in law.her and my brother were married but they finally got unhappy and divorced.I am still friends with her because they had a child togeather her and my brother.even though their marriage did not work they remain friends...She found a man from scanning the internet and got into chat rooms.Well she lives far away but i still hear from her and she makes yearly visits.She claims she is happy but she is not,she is lonely and spends most of her time alone.I am not saying that people who meet online cannot be happy,but you have to be very careful because to me marriage is so much better if you really get to know a person and spend quality time instead of on the chat lines.People tend to change afetr you get to knowing them real good..I think it takes a little time to reaally know if that is the person you want tospend the rest of your life with...
@msjigga (864)
• United States
4 Sep 07
I have have seen alot of marriages where the couple was clearly unhappy and yet they remain together because they are married. I personally do not believe in this. I believe that people make mistakes all the time and marriage can be one of them. I believe if a marriage is not working after trying to make it work then people should free themselves from the marriage and get a divorce.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
5 Sep 07
You make a very good point here,i see this all the time..When we date ,the first impression is the attraction,then lust,but those things finally dim over time and what we have left is what we are to deal with..Maybe people take marriage to lightly,maybe more time should be spent in the relationship before taking that final step to marriage..
1 person likes this
@vinzen (1020)
• India
4 Sep 07
Yes, i too know of a few people who have literally lived their whoe life being married to a person, with whom they dont share anything, yet they carry on living, i wonder why and am amazed to see their patience as well, these are the older lots, but i see a few younger friends of mine, follow suit too, who are still bearing up with each other, cannot adjust, yet they are carrying on living in that marriage.
I feel the reasons would vary from person to person, as there are all kinds of people and each one has their own reasons for doing this. Some stay in an unhappy marriage for years, as now they have got too used to each other and things around them, and dont mind it now, so they carry on thinking as a tis we have a few yeas left, let it be, few stay on i think because they dont want to hurt their families and feel they will be broken if they knew that their children were not getting along and having problems in their marriage. Some stay on because of their kids and family and feel the security that the kids need of either of the spouses is needed for them to remain under one roof, does not matter even if they have their own problems, at least the kids see them together always.
So, it all depends upon what are the reasons.
And yet they dont believe in walking out from the mariage and want to keep suffering by being in it, but they need some outlet, so they resort to chatting online or talking and sharing their problems and finding solutions online through friedns and counselling. And i think this itself gives them a big relief and they are happy this ways only, and i find no harm in this. If they are staying in thier limits, not going in for divorce for whatever their reasons, and if they resort to this, i feel its alright, after all each one of us needs something to carry on in life.
Flirting or having boy friends is no solution, as that would get them involved and tear them apart eventually, as they would maybe be forced to do what they dont want to do, take divorce or leave their marriage and walk off then, so maybe thats why they dont indulge in it.
