HELP ME!! married and liking someone else
By gz1282
@gz1282 (571)
United States
22 responses
@dreamsncharms (1340)
• United States
29 Oct 06
If you and your husband are separated. I don't think your love life is his business. You are separated with the intention to divorce, right? It's not his business.
@twmoores (566)
• United States
29 Oct 06
Heres my whole thing on this, if you are in a commited marrage, then how can you do this...even look at some one in that way. If you marrage is rock, then maybe you shouldnt be together. Honestly do what makes you happy, but do it right. Dont string someone else along for your satisfaction. Make sure one is done, before you start another one.
@sleepingbeauty (159)
• United States
29 Oct 06
i would say that if you do love your husband and you wanna make it work just stay away from this guy and get him off your mind. otherwise if your husband finds out about this guy it's never gonna work so i suggest you get this guy out of your life and work it out with your husband.
@tableknife1982 (2073)
• China
14 Nov 06
i think, you had better cost little time to get along wiht that guy~
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
28 Oct 06
If you love your husband and are committed to your marriage you will not be tempted to fall in love with someone else. If you fear falling in love with someone else, but still want to be married to your husband, I suggest that you stay away from that new guy. If you don't want to be with your husband, file for a divorce and keep the other guy in your life. After the divorce is final, start dating the new guy.
@Weasel_Sponge (1069)
• Canada
29 Oct 06
Many commited people, married or not, have innocent "crushes" on people other than their significant other. What makes is not okay is what you do about it. Obviously if you pursue a relationship with this man and you feel this strongly about it (uncomfortable, I mean) you know it's wrong. Have you considered that perhaps you are lonely/insecure or "on the rebound" because of your recent marital problems? Perhaps this attraction is more of a distraction for you than a true fondness of this person.
@harry_ndhuz (1273)
• Indonesia
28 Oct 06
do not meet him again, and just see your husband face when he sleeping... find there, how he has hard working for you and your child....
@gz1282 (571)
• United States
29 Oct 06
Like I mentioned above, I have a class w/ him & he is in my group. I have to talk to him. I am seperated at the time and I do miss my husband so much. I love him, and we are going to get back together soon. Do you think that I should tell him about this if nothing happends?
@linkpointe (1003)
• Philippines
29 Oct 06
You mentioned that you are currently separated from your husband and that soon, you will be together again. Sisterly advice, i think, before you tell this to your husband, you need to be sure of yourself first. You cannot tell me that you love your husband when you're seeing the other man. You cannot be in the middle of both parties. You're putting yourself into hot seat. Better think whats the BEST for you and for your married life. Would you mind if I ask you what's the cause of your separation? Do you have kid/s?
@gz1282 (571)
• United States
29 Oct 06
I am not going out with the other guy. I see him in one of my classes in school. He is in a group project w/me. He doesnt even know that I am starting to like him. I have not told anyone about it. The reason why I have not told anyone and have not done anything about my feelings is because I love my husband. I dont want to loose him. Every time I think about the other guy I remember my husband and feel guily. Thank goodness the semester will be over in December. I have a one child w/ my husband. He decided to go back to his country to see what happends, you know take time off from eachother. We were arguing a lot lately because of his family butting in all the time. We already spoke about the situation and have come to the conclusion, yesterday, to get back together again. We are now going to live far away from his brothers and sisters. He knows that they are the ones causing our fights. He is still going to see them, they are his family and I dont mind. Lets see what happends, right?
@econger (164)
• United States
29 Oct 06
Well, you are separated, although it sounds as if you plan on reconciling. If that's the case and you're certain that is what you want, you need to forget any ideas of starting a romantic relationship with anyone else. It's also possible you're just going through something of an infatuation and you'll find as time goes on you aren't as attracted to this other person as you thought you were.
Alternately, if you see a real future with this other person, you need to let your husband go(divorce). But, it sounds like that isn't what you really want.
Perhaps at this point it's best not to do anything at all. Take some time and think about how you'd like your life to proceed from here and with whom you'd like to spend it with.
Lastly, it's totally possible to truly love more than one person. It's making the choice between who you ultimately want to be with that is the tough part(well, unless you're in some sort of poly relationship, but that's another story altogether).
Whatever happens, I hope it works out for you.
@kesfylstra (1868)
• United States
29 Oct 06
Stop. Get out of the situation. Don't be selfish and think about it. You owe your husband more than that. Why do you make marriage vows if you can consider breaking them so easily? There is no "falling" in love, it doesn't happen to you, you make it happen when you desire it. If he affects you that strongly, get away from him.
@Pmcbride (1081)
•
21 Nov 06
have you any kids? if not make a decision, do you want to split up your marriage? if yes, then let nature take it's toll if no, then get as far away from this guy as possible. If you love your husband and he loves you, then you have a special thing, and you may just be giving it all up for a simple infatuatuation on both sides.
@merrymapper (25)
• United States
21 Nov 06
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Remind yourself of why you fell in love with your husband. Dwell on all the things you love about him. Forgive him if he has done things you don't like. Spend time with him. You don't know this new guy's faults. He may have all the same ones your husband has, and more!
@inkedmama1111 (824)
• United States
21 Nov 06
I don't think you should speak to the other guy anymore. It's wrong to cheat on your husband. But if you really loved your husband I do not believe you could fall in love with someone else.
