Are you a "Never Say No" person?

I do believe you could be my sister. LOL. Her favorite saying, and she lives it, is ohhhhh you want that done "NooooOkay!". I on the other hand do not have that problem. I am retired now so it is not a problem but back when I worked I did not let things get out of hand. Of course after just a little bit people quit asking. The problem with always saying yes is people do take advantage. After all you did that last thing and did it well so why couldn't you do this? And never saying no always means one thing. You may get it all done but no one thing is done well. How can it you have no time. I have always had a weak self esteem. I always viewed my sister as not having that problem because she always had lot's of friends and can talk you leg off. But I see it now as a different version of my problem. She can't say no to anyone because she feels guilty. Of course they need it or they would not ask. And it makes her feel good to have done it for them. Well that is right and wrong. She feels both good about it for having helped and bad because she feels taken advantage of. Other people only view life through their particular problem. They have no idea you have so many other things to do and may not care. To give you the task is to them delegation. They can get twice the work done while you get less done. To change this pattern I would begin keeping a list of what you are ask to do and by who. Then when you have something you think a given person can do go ask them to do it. I think it will be eye opening for you as my guess is that not many will. You will be surprised how many that ask you have no problem saying no.

It is difficult to say no and disappoint others, but if you want to live a normal life or live long you'll just have to say no. You can start by prioritizing everything around you. Well, we all need money and sort of things that is why we work but there is limit to everything. when you have enough or a little more you don't need to work for much more, right? this will also help your health and relationship with your personal family. If you start saying no, others will just then realize that you are prioritizing things and in the end you will actually gain their respect.

I find it easy to say no, but that is because I do not feel confident in doing what they ask. In fact, most people say no, because to say yes, might mean they make things worse than they were. What you have to do is to figure what you can do that will make the others feel confident and what is best left for others. Sure, you are a writer, so naturally criticism of others' work becomes much easier, but could not someone else send out the fliers, and you just print them? Better yet, with many people having copiers, why not give one flier to those people, and have them copy them. In other words, be an organizer. You just have to get over the guilt that because you are a wife, mother, etc. etc. you HAVE to help. Your health is important.

I say no sometimes. It's not merely unaccepting the job offered. It's something else. I'm so busy with my job and studies. I'm preoccupied with a lot of things lately. So, I just want to spend some time with my fiancee and my family. I miss them really. It's been long before I had them for a meal or so.

The best suggestion I can think of is to stop and think.. Count to ten and while doing so consider all the things that you already have on the agenda. Then once you have a list of the items that need attention in the back of your mind ,or should I say forward in your mind,You can then tell the person what it is you need to accomplish,that your sorry but,You just won't have the time to do what ever it is they request. Apparently you are one of those really sweet people that others love to take advantage of.Suggest to them they help you with some of the tasks that you already have on the list and see if the tune doesn't change just a bit.

well,if it is my job,if offered more work,even overtime work,i'd like to accept.but if others,it depends,according to my moods,my conditions...... sometimes my friends or colleagues ask me to help with sth,if i really have no resource or i can't solve the problems,i say the truth,i say no.i have no choice.

Decide what is important to you, what goals you have for your life. Decide what steps lead to that. If being a good parent is important to you, for example, and I'm sure it is, you might consider anything to help you be a good parent within your life goals. Now, when people ask you to do things, ask yourself where it fits in with your life's goals. Sometimes you can simply start with, "You know what?! I'm not sure if I can do that or not. Let me check on a couple of things and I'll get back to you about that." (It's easier than saying no) and then you have time to think about it and decide if it will fit into your plans or not. If not, just say, "I'd really love to help but I am finding myself over-extended at the moment. Sorry." (smile and walk away, conversation is over, it's not up for debate.) And as for letting people dump on you, that needs to stop! I just happened to read a great article about that today so as soon as you accept me you are going to get the 12 Depression Busters article as mentioned in my article and also the article I read today about not letting people dump on you. Please get the DVD or book, "The Secret" and read about the law of attraction. It will change your life!

In February I ran into horrible burn out. I became depressed and just miserable to live with because I overextended myself. I couldn't say "no" either. So I started saying no, and ya know what I found out? After about a month I started saying "yes" again! I think there are certain personaility types that thrive on always having something to do. I'm back to my never say no self, and I am fine with it. When I get overwhelmed I stop and tell myself this is what I asked for, and remind myself how unhappy I was when saying no. That being said. there is a fine line between being everything to evereybody and getting taken advantage of. Just be sure you are saying "yes" to people who are aking you to help out for the right reasons, and you are involved in things that you find fulfilling.

About the only advice I can give you is to start saying "I'm sorry but I have so many other things going on right now". I used to be the same way. I was always afraid to say no b/c I thought ppl would be mad at me. I started telling ppl that I didn't have the time or had too many other things to do and it started getting easier. Now I can say no and mean it. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

that's a real and big problem!!...cant say no even if there's something in your mind saying say no is a serious problem..... its obviously show how much you wanted to help but girl you have to help your self too.....honestly that was my problem before... i dont want to embarrassed people by rejecting them or simply saying no. all i wanted is to give help to those who cant do things that i can but then i realized that taking their task and responsibilies are not helping them as well...... instead i make them more irresponsible and more indolent. therefore i told to myself that i will only help if i saw them working their best yet there's still something i can do to improve their works. its not easy to break the attitude of helping others cause i know i was born with kind and helping personality but i put into my mind that helping others to be the best of whatever they can be and bringing out the finest out of them is the best help i could ever do for them.... i hope i gave you advice that you needed.... ^_^

I guess it depends on who is doing the asking - my children I can say no to :) I tend to be liberally generous with the yes's but I draw the line at sin - I will not willfully say yes to someone who is asking me to sin. (I hope)

I've been known to have the same problem as you! Hard for me to day no. Seems too much like being mean. I've learned, maybe a little over the years to say no sometimes. It's still hard but I had to just for my own sanity. I just had to remember the world will still revolve, even without me and if I can't do it, someone else will, eventually! What tends to happen is, when people find out we won't say "no", we are automatically their "go to". How much easier is it to ask someone to do something when you already know they will say "yes"? Saying "no" once or twice will make people understand you are not an easy mark. They will start looking elsewhere instead of automatically coming to you. What I had to do was prioritize. Evaluate something, then decide on "yes or no". If it was vital and there was no one else for sure do it, then, "yes"...but most things...there is almost always someone else who can do it....if it's urgent..well, of course...but most things aren't...

I like your rubber "no" stamp...I am the same way. I cannot say no, especially at work. I get calls while I am on vacation, at night, on the weekend, it never ends. It seems I am always working and never have time to just close my eyes, breathe deeply and relax.

I like your rubber "no" stamp...I am the same way. I cannot say no, especially at work. I get calls while I am on vacation, at night, on the weekend, it never ends. It seems I am always working and never have time to just close my eyes, breathe deeply and relax.

Wow, talk of multitasking! But I can understand, I was like you even a decade back. I think I was like this coz I grew up watching mom who is just like you…couldn’t say ‘NO’ to anybody and in the end hurt herself more. I thought that was the only way you kept connected to friends and family. But gradually I realized that no, I was wrong. You cannot please everybody everytime and you end up hurting yourself. People start taking advantage and bad-mouthing you on top of that, if your help is in some way not upto their expectations. And then your own expectations rise too, you feel if I have helped so and so, that person will definitely help me in my hour of need. But the world hardly rotates that way. In my hour of need, I found most people had their own priorities, preset programmes and engagements and they told me, oh so sweetly ‘you know I soooooooo wanted to help you, but what to do blah blah blah’. Several such incidents made me think – was I being taken for a ride, looked down as a gullible individual and everyone’s broomstick? A lot of conscious effort has gone into it but finally I have made it a habit of saying ‘NO’. initially my conscience used to tick me, but then I sat back and waited and I saw that even without my lifting a finger, the work got done. Someone else did it OK, but I could instead do other things which were more important to me. So now I say NO boldly, not always but definitely I judge the situation and extend my help only on merit.

You have raised a very valid and interesting point. I feel that I cannot say 'no' to anyone, if someone ask me for any work or help. I find it difficult to say 'no' and sometimes as an afterthought I realised that I should have said 'no' because if I go with someone else, my own important jobs left remain unattended, sometimes.

when i was a student, i had never said no to others except my parents when they ask for a help. but now i have to say no to others. i shouldn't be a good girl in others' eyes, even i give my hand when they need help. sometimes they think i'm a stupid girl after give them a help. i shouldn't say no when my parents and brother need a help. frankly, i regret saying no to my parents. so my mom often says to me that don't believe others easily. and i should believe her and my dad.

you don't have to say the word no to refuse some one,did Godfather say no as you say yes to others? just let them know you want to but can't do.

I used to be a never say no person and felt the same way that you do. It was exhausting and I found myself really regretting the decision and resenting the situation to the point that I'd end up not doing my best job and then feeling guilty. Not a good feeling but I could never break the cycle and as someone who worries about people not liking me I would continue to suffer with doing things I didn't want to do in fear of losing friends or ticking people off. Because of my upbringing I'm a people pleaser so I often find myself doing things that I don't want to do because I want to make others happy with me. Then about 10 years ago I made my last really stupid decision. I was working full time, married, living about 600 miles from home and also in college full time in an accelerated program where each class lasted only 5 weeks instead of 15. I won a scholarship from a local organization who subsequently asked me to chair their annual used book sale on top of all the things I mentioned. I felt bad that they gave me thousands of dollars and guilty if I said no so I said OK. It was the most horrible experience. Well it wouldn't have been that bad had I not been totally swamped with all those other things but just work, school, and trying to keep house were too much. I should have said no from the beginning but volunteered to work a few hours (like the 2 other scholarship winners did). After that experience I finally learned that I had to say no more often and only say yes if I truly had time and TRULY had an interest. There are certain things I'd never say no to as they are enjoyable to me but there are certain things that the minute I'm asked I know I dont want to do. Sometimes it's hard to say no right away or I'm not sure if I really want to do the thing. So when it's a case like that, I always tell the person that I will think about it and get back to them the next day or within a certain time period. It takes the pressure off off myself and allows us to move on without the question of will I or won't I hanging over our heads. It allows me to get out of that flight or fight situation and think it over rationally overnight or over the course of 2 days. Good luck with it. I know how hard it is to break the habit. Try the "i'll get back to you" thing. It works well for me.

there is an ancient saying" Do as you would be done by", you must judge their internal ideas, then you will do you wanna do.