infertitlity adopt or not

Adopting a child can be your biggest blessing but there are also some negative factions involved. An advanatge is that you are helping a child, who might otherwise have spent their childhood years in an institution. One of the disadvantages is that you are not sure what sort of family traits your child might have inherited from their birth parents.

I wish there were more people like you in the world today! No, I don't mean people with infertility problems, rather people who are willing to adopt a child who needs a good home. I think it is really sad that people like you have to jump through all the hoops you do. When you also figure in the horrible expense, it would be enough to turn anyone off. Unfortunately, I don't have any experience in this kind of thing, but I will tell you PLEASE don't give up! There are so many kids out there who need devoted loving parents and a stable nurturing home. When you finally get the chance to make a difference in the life of a child it will all be worth it. Good luck and make sure you keep us updated!

YES YES YES I went through this it was absolutely AGONIZING experience. My diagnosis was an easy fix but getting down to really making everything to be "Perfect" was a long haul, and a painful one, emotionally! My hubby and I are doing fine and we did fine but it was really hard. Financially it was hard too. Here is what we went through. Diagnosis was to just medicate me. One little teeny tiny pill actually got me pregnant easily....First pg I miscarried, Second pg was ectopic and I lost my right tube. Found out I had a bit of Endometriosis. Third pregnancy we had to do IVF, the first IVF did not take (Even though I could get pg the doctor did not want to touch me because of my ectopic and losing one of my tubes) Second ivf took, but I miscarried at 11weeks. That was SO Devastating to me. Third IVF after a year and a half break, Got pg, and went all the way, I had my daughter in 2004. We were so spent at that time, already out $25,000.00 - $40,000.00 from all the past medical work....Since I knew what my diagnosis was, we decided that I would just do herbs instead and see what happens. Well I started with Fertilaid, I did a lot of research on my diagnosis and thought well if I just have a hormonal imbalance then let me get balance and see what happens. Sure enough, I was expecting to be on Fertilaid for like 6 to 9 months before I thought anything could happen...Well GUESS WHAT! Within 2 months of taking the herbal, and evening primrose oil and flaxseed oil (I can tell you more if interested in exactly what I did) I got pregnant. We confirmed it was not ectopic, and I had my second daughter in 2006!! Now we are looking at my younger daughter and thinking WOW she is almost 2, my older is almost 4 it is such a blessing to have them here with us. I would have considered adoption but my husband was not interested in adopting, he would have preferred to have no children rather than to try to adopt. I respected his wishes on that. Herbs really was the key, and If I would have known sooner what herbs could have done for me, I would not have even bothered with going through conventional medicine....I do not regret doing what I did because I would not have my daughter here with us if I did not got through it all....But if I were to change it or if we did not go through this route, I would have studied up on the herb thing for sure. Let me know if you have any questions!

I know couples who have gone that route, fostered a child or children, and some have even been able to adopt one or more of the children. However, some foster agencies do not allow the foster parents to adopt the children they foster. In Canada, if you foster a native child, they prefer the child to go back to the reservation and only if the foster parent has some native blood or agrees to raise the child and expose him to the culture will they allow them to adopt. If you have the maturity and the ability to take a child who is now longer a baby into your home, go for it! We need more people like you and who knows you may be able to adopt a whole family this way.

rubyqueen, I have not adopted so I really don't have any advise. I do want to wish you luck, though, and let you know that there are people "out here" routing for you. I honor your decision to adopt rather than go the route of medical intervention. Any baby will be blessed to have you as a Mommy, I'm sure!

Your first step is to have the home study done. And know your rights! I adopted a little boy, from birth, 10.5 years ago and his mother took him back 2wks before his first birthday. It was the most devastating thing for me. You will have a lot of hopes and dreams that will be shattered before you finally adopt a child! I didn't check your profile so I don't know where in the world you are but I know here in Canada you have to jump through MAJOR hoops just to prove you're fit to adopt AND even if you have 1001 people as references, if the agency doesn't see you fit, or if you have anything in your past that they look down upon, your application won't even be considered. That's what happened to my hubby and I a few years ago. We were approved to do respite care but not foster or adoption because of something in my past (and no I've never hurt a child and it's not related to my son...). I called my home province to check on their policies because I just couldn't believe what I was being told in this province and they told me their policies were different and I would not be penalized in that province. So for us it's just a matter of time of moving back home but we have to stay here for now so hubby can finish his studies! I wish you luck in this endeavor. It's not an easy one, with a heck of a roller coaster ride but in the end, it's all worth it!

Adoption would be the way to go-find the right agency and convince yourselves on the gender of the child you need. Avoid agencies that turn your adoption bids into an endless legal battle. Wish you the best rubyqueen

My hubby and I are dealing with infertility too. We are considering using donor sperm and adoption as well. There is a great book that we got called the complete adoption book or complete adotion guide (something like that) and it has answered so many of my questions already and I haven't finished it yet (it's a large book). I'm also reading a book called helping the stork about donor insemination.

No I haven't gone through this nor have I known any one else who has done this but I want to say that adopting is a beautiful thing. You're giving a homeless/parentless child a loving caring home and that is a great thing. Maybe this is your calling.

According to what you have written you are a great person. I do not know many people that are willing to adopt with even the possibilty of having kids through medical intervention. I agree with your moral beliefs and think that it will me a great thing to adopt. As long as you treat the kid fine which i know you will it will be great for you and that poor kid.