is marriage a compromise?
By rivergod40
@rivergod40 (22)
India
September 5, 2007 11:30pm CST
what would u do if u were married to some one who turned out to be a case of chronic / bipolar depression? the catch here is that u were not told about this illness before the marriage and certain facts were hidden from u. And the other catch is that u have a kid who is getting affected by this too...
3 people like this
6 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
6 Sep 07
I think this is one of the reasons that make it a good idea that people live together for some time before getting married, I think it would be safe to say the many many people go into a marriage with a lot of secrets, faults or things in their life that they do not tell until the ring is on the finger, after all truth could ruin things for some so really getting married is a big gamble...
@deempoleecious (79)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
I think, you should not blame her for not telling you that she's ill.. It isn't really a big thing to lie especially if it's for love.. Now that your kids is being affected by her illness, the best thing you could do is explain to your children what their mother is up to and then continuously love your wife.. and PRAY..
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
6 Sep 07
This exact thing happened to my fiance (well he'll be my fiance for the next 18 and a half hours, until we get married and he becomes my HUSBAND). I sent this to him, to see how he will reply.
We both agree that a marriage is not a marriage if there is deception.
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
6 Sep 07
Yes the bitter truth of the life is that marriage is a compromise......It was wrong on girl's part to hide this fact from the future husband or may be she was forced by her parents to hide it so that they could get her married and get rid of the burden and responsibiity.This happens only because girls are not given proper education and encouraged to live independent. The saddest part of the story that little the little kid is also being affected by this. I think the child should be taken to the best specialist and given the best treatment. I am sure if proper treatment is given from early age, the child will be helped a lot to get cured. Now it is responsibility of father to see that he does his best for the child. You have to compromise with the wife because after all she is the mother of this child and if she is sick, it is not her fault........she needs her husband as well as her child. Will you be able to come out of your guilt, if today you left her when she needs you the most.......!!!!!!!!!!
@rivergod40 (22)
• India
7 Sep 07
well..am sure that u wud agree that any marriage based on lies or deceptions or half truths cannot survive since the facts come out in the open one fine day...its like a house built of bad foundation..it cant be supported forever...i am doing what it takes...but am human too..am no god...rite?
all i can say...god be with me...
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1949)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I believe that marriage was made under false vows and you have the right to have it ended if you so wish, starting a marriage with a lie is not a good way to begin a life.you are right it will effect your child and you both. im wondering how long you knew this person before you married them that you didnt notice something like this was present.
@rivergod40 (22)
• India
6 Sep 07
well...in the society i live, we met...she seemed great...it was all arranged. so i cant really say, i knew her before i got married...
what do i do abt my kid? cant see her suffer..
@sefnopre29 (143)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
marriage is a commitment to love each no matter what their condition is. if you will leave her just because of her sickness you don't actually love her as in all of her. just think of you are the one who is sick. This situation needs showing true love, even if the kid is getting affected there is a medication. I think in this situation being bonded as a family is important.
