Think your depressed listen to my problems
By Livingproof
@Livingproof (9)
Japan
September 6, 2007 1:30am CST
I know things can get hard for everybody and some are more serious then me.
But in my case its about survival in a strange land where you dont speak the language can not read or even find the culture very confusing and strange.
Most people come to another country because they wanted too. But for me i was forced here. Meaning being deported to the country i was born in. I was born in okinawa japan at the age of two my mother moved to newyork with her new husband my stepfather, my real father god knows where he is at. For 26 yrs i lived in america.
i only speak english because my mother never taught me japanese or my culture. My real father is puerto rican so i was raised around spanish all of my life and i was taken out of my house at the age of 9. So my mother and me werent together much of my life. Which goes to explain living in group homes led my life in the wrong direction. In which i got involed with the law. After being in prison having served my sentence for my crime which was a drug charge. They deported me to japan because i never changed my citenship. I know some dont care and agree for me to get deported, but america is the only thing i know and love. I made wrong choices but i wasnt a bad person i was putting myself through school so i wouldnt have to sell drugs all of my life and supporting a family children that wasnt even my own.
Japan isnt really a bad country butt very diffucult to live or to start a new life from scratch. And they are racist people atleast80% of them are. Thier culture and way of thinking is backwards from america. Ive been here two yrs now and just keeping my head above water i feel like calling it quits and giving up the stress begins to build up where i cant take it. Either im going to hurt someone because japanese people will provoke you mentally and let you know your not welcome here.
Or one day my depression will kill me. Im home sick and lonely even with some of the friends i do have here i still feel out of place. Well this is why im depressed thanks for listening
3 people like this
7 responses
@wotfpatty (2065)
• United States
6 Sep 07
Is there no way you can ever come back to the US? I know many, many people from all over the world who are here so why not you? If you could get a job here, I know you could come because my boss from the UK came here for work and eventually was able to stay once he was married to an American.
It seems there should be a way for you to return.
In the meantime, you really have to try to make the best of things. It stinks that you didn't change your citizenship but that's water under the bridge now. If you do something violent, you will never end up back here. I think the best thing you can do is try to live a meaningful, good life, try to find people who understand and support you and see what you need to do to be able to return.
I feel for you because I would never know how to live in a totally different culture but I suppose the only thing you can do is to learn from your time there and to try to find a way of living that is acceptable. Make a goal to get back here whether it is by just visiting to be back in familiar surroundings, working here, or whatever.
Sometimes, you just have to try to make the best of things. Get schooling, better yourself, do what it takes. Don't get in trouble. I hope it works out for you, I really do.
@warmweatherwoman (2233)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
6 Sep 07
OH MY, let me first express my sentiments to you. Many of us make mistakes while learning our way in the world- and in your case- you were rasied here- and don't know any other country as well as you know the US. I think for people that are in your situation - exceptions should be made- because in my eyes- you are an AMERICAN- keep your head up. If you need any care packages- you know- american things to make you feel more comfortable over there- please don't hesitate to ask- I love putting care packages together- and would love to become your friend back over here in the states. Good luck to you- and be strong- if God puts you through it- he will also see you through it :)
Your new friend always,
warmweatherwoman
@Livingproof (9)
• Japan
8 Sep 07
Dear warmweatherwoman,
Thanks alot and for your kindness and understanding. Yes im holding on and doing my best it just gets so lonely here. The language barrier and culture is hard to adapt to. Yes i would love to have you as my friend hope to here from you soon.
@Livingproof (9)
• Japan
8 Sep 07
hey im also from N.J. before i lived in NY Brooklyn, i lived in JerseyCity.
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
6 Sep 07
That is so awful for you I am sure, are you at least able to be with you baby's father while you are there, hopefully you are not alone. My exhusband, the father of my 2 children had the same thing happen to him but he was deported back to Pakistan and never allowed to come back to the US again, in a way it was a good thing for us since he was so horrible mean to us the whole time I was raising my children, never paying child support or wanting to see his children.
Perhaps there is a group or organization you can join that can help with your transition there more, have you checked into anything like that.
I wish you the best, my friend!
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
6 Sep 07
Keep your head up you are in the thoughts of mylotters - my husband is Taiwanese/Chinese but grew up in Okinowa/Japan - after moving to America he has experienced a lot of prejudice. I'm sure nothing like you have gone through though.
@darkangel1975 (5)
• Canada
6 Sep 07
I can't say I know exactly how you feel, i moved to an english part of canada, from a french part, and had to learn english. times are hard in the town i live in. I feel like crap everyday, but my son lives here so i am not leaving. I know it isn't the states, but why don't you try moving to Canada? tons of jobs in the west. and immigration is supposedly easier than in the states.
I know an immigration lawyer, he is also our elected official for the federal government, so he cut through red tape pretty fast. at least then you can be a little closer to home.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
12 Oct 10
Most time, its my work..with ontime deliveries and work loads. I try to divert mind on music and i feel better. We need to manage depression, as it is part of life in busy world.
But if we concentrate, we can manage it. I does it through my yoga, listening music and going out on vacation.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
6 Sep 07
Sounds very difficult. Everything is relative though. I got a call Monday morning that my mother was in intensive care. She thought she had diarreah all day but it turned out to be blood. Diarreah of blood. They wanted to do tests but her blood pressure was dangerously low, so they tried over and over to do blood and plasma transfusions but they kept going right through her. Finally she stabilized after a few days for them to do tests. She has several tumours and they're trying to find out which form of Lymphoma (a form of cancer that involves the lymph system - part of the immmune system) she has. She is 73 and has to go through chemotherapy. She hasn't met her grandson yet.
No matter what we're going through there is always something to be grateful for.
I wish you well - have a fortutitous day.
