I need help with my son
By maildumpster
@maildumpster (3815)
United States
September 6, 2007 12:19pm CST
My son is 3 but he is delayed in all areas (due to being 3 months premature and his genetic condition) and is more like a two year old than a 3 year old.
Anyway I am having such a hard time with feeding him. I KNOW that toddlers are notorious for being difficult eaters since I have two teen agers too but this is getting crazy. When he was smaller (he was on baby food longer than most while he was adjusting to table foods) he ate all manner of fruits and vegetables no problem. Now the only fruits and vegetables I can get in him are an occasional banana and 100% juices and tomato sauce. He used to eat yogurt like it was going out of style. Now I can hardly ever get him to touch it. He loves McDonald's but that isn't good for him. He loves hot dogs - again not good for him (though I haven't tried the veggie ones with him). He also LOVES fruit snacks so I try to get the ones that are a serving of fruit in each package.
I try everything I can do to get him to eat a greater variety of foods. But nothing works. He won't even drink anyting unless he can shake his sippy cup and hear ice banging around in there.
He is incredibly healthy and gaining weight slowly but consistently - normal for the genetic disorder he has; the slow growth I mean. In three years he has only had a few colds and one stomache bug. He's never even had an ear infection. I credit the bre@st milk he's been getting since birth. That leads to another problem I have with him. He won't drink milk in a cup at all! Not even my milk. I can't nurse him for the rest of his life but it is basically the ONLY milk he gets since he won't eat cheese unless it is on a pizza and he hardly touches yogurt anymore. He will eat ice cream but again he can't live on that. I can't even get him to drink a milkshake or fruit smoothies.
Can anyone help me? Should I just stop worrying and ride this out? I was giving him vitamins that were powdered like a pixie stick in his yogurt but he isn't eating yogurt anymore. I tried giving him the gummy vitamins in his fruit snacks but that only worked for a few days. Now he picks them out.
Also my hubby is terrified and has gotten me scared too of giving him anything with peanuts. I eat peanut prducts so he is exposed through my milk. He has also eaten granola bars made with peanut flour as well as other nuts. I didn't worry with my daughters and just let them taste it like any other new food. How do I it with him? Should I just give him a bit and watch? Should I wait till I take him to the doctor and give it to him there in case he has a reaction? I just don't know. This kid has turned my parenting instinct on its ear.
PLEASE help.
4 people like this
9 responses
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
6 Sep 07
Well, other then a genetic disorder and being premature, we don't know what is wrong with him, so it is hard to give any advice.
Are there any support groups that you can go to or join on the internet, can your doctor recommend a source - a person, a book etc to use a resource.
I would say give him the peanut butter but if his genetic problem is in his immune system or digestive system that could be bad.
As for the fussy eating - some kids just are. Mine was too and at 21...he still is a fussy eater.
Now as for weaning him to a cup or getting him to eat favorite foods..how about a reward system of some sort. Maybe take a favorite video...only use it at meal time and it plays as long as he is eating or drinking properly. If he stops, the video goes off, when he starts doing the desired behavior it goes on. Do this for a few weeks, then start rewarding him with a few minutes of the video after say 3 bites or drinks, then go to 5 bites, then 10 bites and then after the meal or desired outcome.
Sounds like the little guy has you wrapped around his baby finger.
3 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
6 Sep 07
His genetic disorder is called Noonan's syndrome. It does not affect his immunity and the only effect it has on his digestive system is that he feels the need to have a bowel movement hours before it happens.
He does drink from a cup but not milk or anything milky.
I like the idea of a video. Thanks
I'm not wrapped around his finger. I do give him all the good foods. He just doesn't eat them. He will go hungry if he doesn't like what I give him.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
6 Sep 07
Well, then I would give him the PB, the odds are he has encountered it in other foods and you were not even aware of it.
If there is a concern, talk to the doctor, and voice your concerns, don't let hubby make you and your son paranoid. I think with all parents, the tendency is to be protective and when your child has medical problems, that tendency is increased many times over, it is normal. But let your son do everything he wants to do (within reason of course), and encourage him every step of the way.
My son had some problems, and we were told when he was 7, that he had balance problems and would never be able to do things like ride a bike or skate...good thing we did not know that when he was 3 and started riding a 2 wheeler or started ice skating.
Sometimes the docs don't know.
Trust your instincts!
4 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Thanks. I do allow him to do basically what he wants (as long as he isn't being "bad" if you know what I mean) and encourage him all along the way.
I am pretty sure he would be ok with the PB. As I said in my original post; I eat PB and he has had things with peanut flour in it. Also there isn't a single person in my family allergic to peanuts. I have anxiety disorder so it is pretty easy to get me paranoid LOL.
Thanks again
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I have never had a developmentally delayed child but I did have a very picky child. He was terrible and I would worry that he was not getting enough to eat or all the nutrition he needed to grow.
I did take a nutrition class for children and one thing I learned was; they will eat when they get hungry. If they do not eat a variety so be it. Let him have his favorites, also let him pick what veggies he wants or his fruit he wants. I realize he maybe to young to say but he might supprise you and pick something you do not know he likes. You might take him to the market and let him pick the fruit and veggies he wants.
I also think you need to stop nursing I realize you may think that is wrong of me. But there is an age where children should be weened from nursing. I know it probably calms him down and helps him sleep but there should be a time for him to grow up.
I feel there is nothing wrong with putting ice cubes in the sippy cup. My daughter at the age of 8 months decided she did not want anything to drink unless it had ice it also. I felt as long as it had nutrition in it I did not care if she drank it cold. She even loved chicken soup cold with ice cubes.
My children are now 29 and 26 my son is 6'4" tall. My son had so many allergies when he was young and soon out grew it.He out grew his food allergies when he was around the age of two to three.
As far as peanut allergies I think you would be aware by now if he had it. I feel by giving him granola and peanut butter will not hurt him since he has not had problms yet.
You might get a nutrition book for children that might help you.
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Thanks for the help. My son is funny he will pick out fruits and then not eat them when I give them to him. He will even go in the fridge and take them out but then not eat them. Can drive a person crazy LOL.
He should self wean soon. He has already cut back on nursing quite a bit. Part of his delays are emotional as well as the physical. Also it is the only milk he gets. He will eat cheese on pizza but he can't live off pizza you know. He will also eat some cheeseburger but never much of one. I haven't tried cheese sauce but I am going to this weekend. He used to eat tons of yogurt (as I mentioned) and now hardly ever.
With his growth delays he is only in size 18-24 month clothing. He has a tiny tummy and I am just trying to get him to eat as balanced as possible so each calorie really counts. He has a heard defect as a result of his Noonan's syndrome and he burns more calories than someone else his size. I know kids survive and endure all these dietary quirks but I am just figure someone else might have an idea that I haven't thought of to get him to eat a variety.
@kitten2307 (35)
• Ireland
7 Sep 07
my daughter was born at 27 weeks and she was behind a little as well but she is five now and in school and doing very well. I know how frustrating it is though when they are at your stage and i went through a similar problem with my daughter. I know you have tried him on mashed potatoes but have you tried making shapes of his favorite charecters with his mash (cookie cutters are great for this) it can make all the difference and also try let him get involved with the dinner let him make the shapes with you (when his mash cools down). You can also jello shapes to make "frogurt" frozen yogurt treats to (its a lot like ice-cream with less sugar). There is a TV website called CBeebies and they have a programme called Big cook Little Cook and they have recipies for kids in their cook book. My kids love Big Cook Little Cook and i often make recipes for them from this programme. Check it out it might just help you. I hope i have given you some ideas. Good luck.
@cipher2004 (1183)
• United States
6 Sep 07
Since he is not eating fruits try this.It worked when I was trying to get fruit into my son.I would take a can of fruit cocktail(or any fruit you refer)and make a slushy.I would put ice and fruit in blender and mix until slushy.I would tell him it was a special treat.I also had problems with milk.So I would make milkshakes,sometimes with bananas and other fruits.Make sure you don't force him to eat the foods you want him to eat.You can try this,but like I said my son was the same way.He is 21 now and fine.
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I'm sorry but did you read my post? I told you he won't drink milkshakes or fruit smoothies.
If you have any other ideas let me know.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I'm leary giving any advice and think maybe your doctor who knows your son better might be more help but I can say this I have 3 sons and all of them went through stages where they would eat anything and everything one month and then the next wouldn't eat anything.
I think even a phone call to the doctor's office would help you if you don't want to wait until his next appointment.
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Well he goes to the doc next week so no long wait. I brought it up at the last appointment and I was assured that he's a very typical toddler. Now if he wasn't growing or developing at all OR not eating at all; then they would worry. If he wasn't as healthy as he is; then they would worry. At the moment they feel that as long as he is eating and has at least some variety (part of that variety being in the form of fruit and vegetable juices) then he is ok.
Sounds like he is a pretty typical toddler from everything I have read on various websites (including Dr Sears) and from what people have told me. I do remember my girls being picky and going thru some crazy food jags. I think I just worry more about him because of his issues.
Thanks for replying Faith. I do understand not wanting to give the wrong advice.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
10 Sep 07
Sounds like pretty normal behavior to me LOL. My 5th child is 2 1/2 now so we've been through these things a few times and it really does sound like normal toddler/preschooler behavior.
Obviously your doctor will be the best source of information and you already know that but my mom advice is that your son sounds fine. This part of what you said stands out..."He is incredibly healthy and gaining weight slowly but consistently - normal for the genetic disorder he has; the slow growth I mean. In three years he has only had a few colds and one stomache bug. He's never even had an ear infection."...That tells me your son is getting everything HE NEEDS regardless of how it compares to other children's needs and/or habits.
I'm only just under 10 months into nursing my youngest and this is the longest I've ever made it so I can't imagine doing it for another 2 years or more! But you said your son is more like a 2 year old and it's not unheard of for children to still be nursing some at that age. Just keep introducing him to it in a cup and maybe evenutally he'll accept it, if not he'll probably self wean before long anyway...and the milk must be doing him a lot of good too since he's hardly ever gotten sick.
I have no advice on the peanut issue. I've never dealt with allergies or been worried about it. I would guess that if he is allergic he would have reacted to the other things he's had but I'm sure your doctor would understand if you "tested" it in the office just in case.
My youngest is perfectly fine in all the usual ways but for some reason my mom instinct went into overdrive with this one...it's funny how that can happen even to experienced parents.
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I do not have a whole lot of tips for you, as each child is different and picky eaters are their own special breed. One thing I can think of, since he will eat ice cream is to get one of those home freezers that freezes just a pint or so at a time, and freeze regular yogurt in it. I would also go for the high dollar, high fat yogurt, unless he has an issue with fats and his digestion. There is a brand at Wal Mart, called Yo'Baby, especially designed for babies, made from full fat milk. I have tried it, it is delicious. Also, you can blend a banana with about four ounces of yogurt, and put that in one of those freezer cups, that has the liquid inside the cup that makes everything freeze. It is like icecream, but healthy.
For veggies, blend them up into his tomato sauce, serve it with whole grain pasta. What is it that he likes at McDonalds? Some of their food is just fine. I would wait a little longer on the peanuts, and soy as well, if there are a lot of allergies in your family. I would ask the doctor.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Honestly I would stick with what works. Let him eat whatever veggies that he will eat and that goes with everything else except the junk food. My kids are very weird eaters. My youngest will not even touch a piece of meat if you put anything on top of it. She doesn't like mayo, mustard or ketchup. Her noodles has to be plain with butter only. While my oldest only likes ketchup with her foods, doesn't like peppers, onions but will eat mushrooms and olives. As long as your kids do eat and are healthy, I wouldn't worry to much. What does he eat at Mcdonalds, my youngest only wants to go there for the toy but won't touch the food except the nuggets every once in awhile. We can't order her a burger because they put things on it.
Here is a stupid idea, what if you put milk in a cup with ice. If that doesn't work, you can break him of nursing slowly. Slowly nurse him less each day until the milk is gone. When you don't nurse give him milk in a cup, just don't give in. Honestly it would get boring eating yogurt all the time, what about those gogurts( probably didn't spell that right) yogurts in a tube. To me they taste better than regular kids yogurt.
With the vitamins, he's a smart little boy and I don't blame him one bit. I got my kids those vitamin gum balls. Disgusting is all I can say about that and those gummy ones are just the same. With the peanuts, if he was going to have a problem it would have already happened so I wouldn't worry about it. Plus if he likes peanuts let him eat them since they are good for you.
You can make mini pizzas for him and the whole family. You can get him to help you add things on the pizza, never know it might help with him eating more veggies.
If not, it's ok. I think everyone goes through periods in our life that would make us considered picky. Your son is only 3, he's healthy and he's gaining, slowly but at least he is. That's a good thing, and your doing a wonderful job. I would just buy what he likes to eat, you can also have him help you pick things out while shopping as long as he has two healthy choices. I like the control of things while they feel like they are boss of the situation, lol.
Ok, I think I better end this before I write a novel. Disregard everything I said if it doesn't make any sense or isn't helpful. I do hope some of my ramblings are helpful.
@maureen9515 (2)
• United States
7 Sep 07
DO NOT try to force him let him do it at his pace leave some fruit or veggies on the table where he can reach them maybe just maybe he will try them again on his own i have a grand daughter like that only she was born with brain damage she is coming along pretty good but it sure is slow going do not give up give him time he will come around
